Thursday, January 28, 2010

Top 10 List For Dads

I have been struggling a bit with the blog lately, which is probably obvious already due to my lack of posts the last two weeks. I have struggled to find ideas. I have struggled to find time. I have even struggled to find the desire to write lately. I have given up on random thoughts because they weren't working for me anymore. Plus the fifth ranked keyword for my site according to my Google masters is "random". That is a little much so I must turn to other gimmicks when ideas are scarce. Today's gimmick is the top 10 list. I hope you enjoy the top 10 things I have learned from being a Dad.
  1. Curious George is a trouble maker.
  2. The top 4 needs for raising a child are food, clothing, shelter, and batteries.
  3. Sleep is a luxury much like all beef hot dogs and imported beer.
  4. If children ever try to take over the world, Elmo will be their leader.
  5. A screaming child can put more pressure on you than the U.N. Maybe we should send some screaming kids to Iran to discuss their nuclear enrichment programs.
  6. Children instinctively know how to throw fits much the same way deer instinctively know that 2-legged creatures with orange hats are up to no good.
  7. Changing dirty diapers is one of the easiest things about parenting.
  8. Every piece of advice you have ever read or been told is just a suggestion. There are no hard and fast rules.
  9. It's easier to reason with wild hog in a gorilla suit than an angry toddler.
  10. Parenting is a contact sport.


Tom said...

The fact that you're finding time at all is a miracle. Thank God for the down times so you can vent a little.

Great list!

SAHD PDX said...

Writing comes in fits and spurts and there are times when you just have nothing to say. The interesting question is do you write anyway or wait for a voice?

PJ Mullen said...

I hear you on the batteries, I should have stock in Duracell by now. And if Curious George is a trouble maker, then Elmo is evil. I don't trust him.

Gucci Mama said...

Oh my gosh does Number 9 resonate with me. And probably every other parent on the planet.

Katherine said...

I understand all of these things. You are so right. The worst is driving in a car with a screaming toddler. I just want to make everyone get out of my way so I can get that kid home so he'll stop screaming about being stuck in that seat!

Hope you all don't get too much ice down there.

seashore subjects said...

At least with Elmo at the helm we would all find the time to giggle! (and reasoning with any aged child who wants something is nearly unbearable)

Rob said...

Great list. I agree with you 100% on a contact sport. LOL.

In my house if my daughter tried to take over the world Dora or Diego would be her leader.

Brian Miller said...

haha. that is awesome. number 3 cracked me up. number 8 so true. enjoy the ride.

BellaDaddy said...

HA, perfect list...nothing more to say than You Hit The Nail On The Head...batteries..NO JOKE!


WeaselMomma said...

What a great and comprehensive list. Your picking up on on some great parenting truths early on.

rxBambi said...

wouldn't it be nice if kids came with a handbook? And maybe an off-switch.
Have a great weekend :)

otin said...

Blogging has it's ups and downs. If you don't have anything to write, just focus on a news headline or something that annoys you. I have found that people don't always come to see what you have written, but sometimes just come to visit.

surprised mom said...

Love the list! All I can say is YES X10! Parenthood is indeed a contact sport and there are no hard and fast rules because all children are different. I'm glad you're still blogging because I know with a toddler time is not your own.

Mocha Dad said...

I'm posting this list on my refrigerator.