Tuesday, February 16, 2010

How to Spend Your IRS Refund Check

Recently I have mentioned Valentine's Day and the Olympics. Before that there was the Super Bowl. Next up is baseball season. So what is the topic du jour. Today we talk about income tax returns. 

If you are not getting a refund then I am truly sorry. You can use this time to complain about the stupid IRS if you like. For those of us who are anxiously awaiting our tax return it is time to spend our money.

As a parent the tax return will go towards necessities more than luxuries. It's still fun to dream of spending money as freely as a Hollywood starlet on Rodeo Drive. If that is not your thing then you can dream of swimming in mountains of cash like Scrooge McDuck. Either way dreaming never hurt anyone.

It would be fun to spend it all on Arica. I could rent out her favorite store for a private shopping spree. I could buy her the largest diamond possible, and she could wear it around her neck on a rope.  Another idea would be a trip to somewhere exceedingly tropical. I bet she would love it if I turned the entire thing into a spa gift card.  Finally I might use the money to hire a nanny for a few weeks. A helping hand would always be nice.

The money could go a long ways for Braden as well.  We could use it to buy a real, live, pooping, banana eating monkey.  Maybe we could buy him an entire fleet of motorized cars. That might actually work. He would be like a baby Hertz renting cars to toddlers all over town. We could go back to the shopping thing again. This time we would be at Wal Mart shoveling toys into multiple carts while laughing like wild hyenas. Maybe we could take the shopping tour to Toys R Us as well.  We could take trips to as many zoos and aquariums as possible. Of course the trips would have to be south towards warmer weather. I wouldn't want to go up north to find only polar bears and penguins out for the viewing public while the other lazy animals slept inside.

The money could go towards me too. I could always use hunting and/or fishing gear, new electronics, video games, or some other useless junk.  In fact too often the extra money goes to my vices. I have written about my affinity for betting on the ponies. On date nights I often lead our outings towards a drinking establishment. Spending money on those type things leaves only empty feelings and empty pockets.

That is why I truly want to spend the extra money from our refund on the two most important people in my life. Yes we will have to spend some on necessities. Yes we will save some for a rainy day that we hope never comes. With that little bit extra I am making a promise to myself to spend it on something fun and rewarding for Arica and Braden. 

Maybe we won't buy monkeys, diamonds, or a fleet of toddler rental cars, but we can have a good time. They deserve it for putting up with me.

20 comments:

James (SeattleDad) said...

Sounds like the perfect plan.

You don't want a Monkey anyway. It would just throw it's poop at the wall, or worse yet you.

tysdaddy said...

Yeah. Skip the monkey. They smell bad.

I think I'm finally going to buy a new TV. Ours is very old, and shuts itself off at the most inopportune times, like in the middle of a Guitar Hero jam session.

And the rest? That rainy day is here, so I'll probably bank it and keep looking for a job . . .

Katherine said...

I think that's a wonderful idea. Can't wait to see if we get anything back!

Otter Thomas said...

@James and Tysdaddy: I would never buy a monkey. I wouldn't even take one if it was free. Dealing with miniature human poop is where I draw the line.

Eric said...

We got a nice big one. With that we're paying off some cards. A consolidation loan. and a new roof.

Maybe some new tennis shoes if I'm lucky.

PJ Mullen said...

What isn't going towards gear for baby #2 is going in the bank this year. No splurging unless we are successful with the Great Real Estate Purge of 2010.

John said...

Holy cow... I would buy a monkey if possible. It really makes me angry that we can domesticate all this stuff, but we can't figure out how to get monkeys domesticated. It's just too much for me to handle. Sometimes when I go to the zoo, I get angry that I can't have a pet monkey.

By the way, "I could rent out her favorite store for a private shopping spree. I could buy her the largest diamond possible, and she could wear it around her neck on a rope." <-- I wish I had your tax return!

John

Momo Fali said...

I wish I could spend ours on something fun, but instead it goes to private school tuition because our public schools are awful. Maybe when my kids are out of college...

Rob said...

I hope you guys get to do somehing really fun. We used our return to pay the rent while I was unemployed. Not fun but definetly a necessity.

Rachel said...

We have the 100$ rule. We each get 100$ of our refund for something fun. The little people each get 50$. You also have to spend your 100$ before August ( we always wait to file and get our cash in june) or it is forfeited!

otin said...

Somehow, I don't think that you are that hard to put up with! Spend that money wisely! :)

seashore subjects said...

The baby Hertz rental could pay for itself! Enjoy the extra cash.

surprised mom said...

It sounds like you have the perfect plan! Enjoy the fun part of your tax return.

Taxes. Sigh. Still working on them. I think we'll get something back. At least there is always hope.

Brandy said...

have a good time on those dollars. they don't last forever.

Tom said...

I vote for the trip. Myself, I'd take the family to Disneyland. It never fails to deliver on every level. In fact, my kids have been amping up the nagging on that front; going to have to find a way to finance a trip this year. have fun with it, whatever you do!

Captain Dumbass said...

What about just one monkey?

Mocha Dad said...

Every year, I work hard to not own any money and not get a refund. I want to come out even on tax day. I haven't been able to make it work yet. I hope you enjoy your refund money. Take a trip and have fun.

WeaselMomma said...

Go for the monkey! That would make for great video.

Melinda said...

our taxes are filed, received and spent on none other than the necessities FUN

GreenJello said...

I'd put it in the bank, and pretend you never had it in the first place. Which you kind of didn't, since it didn't show up in the bank account. That way, when you want a really nice vacation or have an emergency, it's there for you.