Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Family vs. Fraternity: Morning Chores

I was watching an episode of Seinfeld recently in which Jerry had to dog sit for a guy he meets on an airplane. The guy got sick and was taken to the hospital leaving Jerry with the dog. A conversation between Jerry and Elaine about picking up dog poo reminded me of some dog watching I had to do in college.

I shared a two room suite with three other guys. One of these guys was my big brother J. Murray. He stayed at his girlfriend's house nearly every night while his Boston Terrier Lynx stayed behind. Since he was never around to watch his own dog the chores fell to us. My little brother Shakey was a pledge and naturally we made him take care of the dog. Remembering his morning ritual has spawned a new, possibly recurring feature here at Life of a New Dad called Family vs. Fraternity. Today we examine the morning chores.

Fraternity: About 7:30 am every day Lynx starts barking at the door. After it gets loud enough to arouse us from our alcohol induced slumber B.A. and I yell at Shakey. Take Lynx outside! Shakey dressed in only his boxers and Doc Martens takes him outside. Shaky weighs about 135 and is white as snow. Imagine everyone going to class in the morning as he stands outside the fraternity house in the aforementioned dress smoking a cigarette and letting the dog relieve itself. Ahhhhh College.

Family: I set my alarm clock every night although I actually hear it go off about once a month. Every day Braden rouses both Arica and I from our slumber. Someone has to get up anywhere from 6 to 7 (we are late sleepers) and feed the poor boy. First we change his diaper. After the bottle we try to get him back to sleep. My how things change.

11 comments:

Baby News said...

Yeah, I guess you don't have anyone around to yell at to take care of Braden! It's up to you and Arica.

Oh, college...what I don't miss? Alcohol-induced slumber. It's kind of nice being able to think clearly now that the early sleepless nights are over.

Love that episode, btw. My husband and I are all into Curb Your Enthusiasm right now. Good stuff.

otin said...

HAHA! Missing those college days?

PJ Mullen said...

I wonder if we could recruit fathers to be and treat them like pledges. We could have a secret handshake and everything.

Daddy Files said...

I wasn't officially in a fraternity but I lived with 7 other guys and I imagine it was the same thing minus the dues.

Which means PJ just stumbled onto a FANTASTIC idea. You take a dad-to-be in for a week and make him do all the dirty work so he's better prepared for his own kid. I bet people would pay for this too.

Let's make this happen.

surprised mom said...

I wasn't in a sorority, I was editor of a college newspaper for two years. We had our own secret handshake and surprises in the small fridge in the closet.
Do I miss college? No. Do I look back on it fondly? Yes.
I never stayed in a dorm. My sister did. I think I missed something not being able to yell at her to do chores. She was younger.
And by the way, make sure the guy is a dad-to-be, no going back before you initiate him into the dirty work of fatherhood. LOL

Bee said...

It's obvious you need to get a *houseboy*. ;o)

Captain Dumbass said...

My four year old is more reliable than my alarm clock. Unfortunately.

WeaselMomma said...

I want to know if you grunt at Arica 'go change and feed Braden' and if so, how that's working out for ya?

seashore subjects said...

Who says college isn't prep for the real world? Wake up to (tell someone) care for a dog, wake up to care for a child...it's all getting you up!

JonnyTam13 said...

I think PJ and Daddy Files could be on to something, but I'm not sure I want in on it. Do you really want Dad-to-Be's who have no clue what's going on to be in charge of your baby for a week?

Tom said...

At least you don't have to stand outside while Braden relieves himself on the front lawn. It's a win-win for everyone.