Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Doctor's Office Blues

We took Braden to the doctor for the fourth time in two weeks today. According to them Braden is well. His problem is now allergies. That's great. The tree pollen season only lasts THREE MORE MONTHS! I feel so sorry for him.

Combine the facts that we have been so often, Braden now has a good memory, and they do unpleasant things to him and you get a little boy that hates the doctor. Braden starts crying when we leave the waiting room and head for the back. He doesn't like the nurse because she gives the shots. He cries until she leaves. At least he still likes the doctor.

I am not a big fan of going to the doctor either. The waiting room is the worst. I hate waiting. The dirty hill people in the waiting room scare me. The dirty hill children running around like wild hyenas trying to touch  me and my family make my crazy. The whole experience is nauseating.

To further explain our distaste for doctors visits Braden and I got together and made a list of things we would rather do than go to the doctor.
  1. Daddy: Be staked out naked on an ant hill.
  2. Braden: Give up whole milk for a year.
  3. Daddy:  Give myself an enema.
  4. Braden: Watch someone beat Barney to purple pulp
  5. Daddy:  Throw my TV in the lake.
  6. Braden:  Stay out of all the cabinets for a month.
  7. Daddy:  Watch a 24 hour marathon of Nicholas Sparks books on film.
  8. Braden:  Wear a dirty diaper for an entire day.
  9. Daddy:  Jump in a shark tank with killer great whites.
  10. Braden:  Sleep without a pacifier.

13 comments:

Katherine said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear Braden has allergies. That's so sad! I hope he feels better soon.

The list is awesome. Made me laugh!

Gucci Mama said...

Aw, poor little man! I hope they can do something for his allergies!

Brandy said...

you are so funny. allergies suck. sorry to hear that.

Eric said...

My kids go to the doctor often. They recognize the buildings as such. When my oldest daughter was going to the ENT for her ear infections, she would cover her ears when he came into the room. She had probably just turned two. I felt so bad for her.

I'm cool with our waiting rooms. There are plenty of distractions for my children to keep themselves out of trouble.

Rob said...

Sorry to hear about the allergies. Hope you little man feels better soon. Also, great list.

PJ Mullen said...

We took little man to the doctor's yesterday because he's been walking with a limp since he slipped on a block over the weekend. This one kid, who was clearly sick, with his runny nose and nasty cough, kept trying to take my son's toy away from him. Considering we were there for a limp, we sat on the "well" side, so I looked around to find this kid's parent so I could glare at them until they finally got the point.

surprised mom said...

I feel for you! Mine are much older than Braden and they've been to the doctor's office a lot this winter. The youngest still flinches when getting shots and hates throat cultures. Poor Braden. I hope he outgrows his allergies. Your list is hysterical. Braden seems to be getting your sense of humor! :)

WeaselMomma said...

To bad they don't have those frequent customer cards to get your 10th visit free.

Jack said...

# Daddy: Give myself an enema.

Dude, the doctor is easier than this, really. But I understand. I remember when my kids were that age, they hated that office.

Captain Dumbass said...

That's a rough list. My youngest suffers from allergies too, does wonders for his temper.

john cave osborne said...

loved the hypothetical list. number 6 especially.

i'm from knoxville, but lived out of the SE for the better part of a decade. when i came back, i was like OH YEAH! there's this yellow stuff that covers EVERYTHING.

pollen is such a force. good luck to you during the alergy season.

Melinda said...

A nurse once told me that the reason they give the shots is so kids aren't so scared of the doctor. One office we went to years ago had a totally different nurse administer shots so that the kids wouldn't be scared of the main nurse.
Anyway, sorry he's not feeling well :)

seashore subjects said...

I am so sorry the little guy isn't feeling his best.

Now I am curious about these hill people though.