Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Men on Twins

Everything on my mind is twins, twins, twins lately. I guess that is the appropriate response for a man in my position. In 13 short days we will discover the sex of our twins. At that time we can start to make more formal plans for the things we need to purchase. If we have at least one boy then we are in good shape for toys and clothes. If we have zero boys then it's off to the second hand store to peddle our wares.

People always want to know how you felt when you found out you were having twins. Many a person has laughed at just the thought of my reaction. That reaction took place about four months ago, and now we are more entrenched in the reality portion of this endeavor.

Still people want to know your feelings. I think maybe they want you to burst into tears sobbing, "I can't do this! Why me!" Maybe it's more of an honest question. People just want to know what it is like to experience something that is not the norm.

Whatever the reason for the questions, I am here to provide the answers...from a male point of view.

Thinking about my feelings I have determined that there are three distinct feelings that come with expecting twins. A normal person experiences all these emotions. You may feel them all at once in the beginning, but it is more likely a progression. Some people may not experience them all, but it is best that the mated pair experience all these emotions as a group at the very least.

Also at any time during the nine month gestation period of the human female, the male of the species can switch from one emotion to another on an monthly, daily, or even hourly basis. There are a lot of things to process in this situation so the mind just processes at will. At least that's how it works for me.

The first emotion as you could probably all guess is shock. Holy #$!& if you will. This can last various lengths of time. I guess some people can be shocked for the entire nine months. For me it lasted just a couple days. It was very severe for the first 30 minutes during which time I did not utter a single word. After a few days the governing emotion changed.

The second feeling that I experienced was blessing. I still experience this emotion on a daily basis. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to experience the wonder of twins. I know it is a blessing to be able to have even one child, but to be blessed by two at once is indeed special. After the initial shock wore off, I was already the father of twins in my mind, and I love it. I wouldn't have it any other way.

The final mind set that comes with having twins is the one that governs my thoughts most days. This is the practical approach. Twins changes everything. The first thing you think of is how to deal with two screaming pooping bundles of joy at once. But that soon fades into the shadows of bigger more immediate concerns.

For example: Our house is too small. We need a bigger one. Our car is too small. We need a bigger one. We need to rearrange our room to make room for the babies. We need to buy Braden another bed so the babies can have the crib that is now converted into a toddler bed. We need to sell my boat to raise a little extra cash. We need to review our finances and make the proper adjustments.

So in a month or so we will probably be trying to sell a house, car, and boat all at the same time. We will be rearranging half of our home. We will be buying one of just about everything because even though we kept all of Braden's stuff he is only one baby. We are now expecting two.

Just like in a normal pregnancy the time before the baby allows the parents to get their lives in order. It is a good plan. Thank you God. Babies just arriving on the door step unannounced would be a huge problem. We all need time to prepare. So even though we have a kid already, everything is new this time. And we are going to spend the next four months weaving in and out of shock, blessing, and practicality while transforming our lives into Twin Mode.


Christine said...

I think the biggest life-changer was going from none to one. You guys already handed in your free-range life more than two years ago. I'm not discounting the vast and significant changes you're about to undergo, but you're already parents.

For me, becoming a mom was the game-changer. The rest is all degrees. And with that, I wish you luck and continued blessings. And may Pampers rain from the sky!

Brandy@YDK said...

it is a blessing. I can not imagine being in your shoes. good luck with selling everything.

Manic Mommy said...

#1 was me. Wrong login...

SurprisedMom said...

From reading your post, your days are going to even more busy than they are now. Actually, your days sound like they are pretty busy now with all the selling of items you have to do. Good luck with everything. You really are blessed and I feel blessed just reading about your anticipation of having twins.

James (SeattleDad) said...

Unbelievable what turn of events life can present to you in short order. Good luck with everything, you are a good man doing what's necessary to provide for your families well being.

WeaselMomma said...

You are truly blessed and so are those babies for being born to such wonderful and loving parents.

Melisa with one S said...

I love that you are documenting this so well. You five are going to be just fine. And you know, at first the house won't be too small: I'd take care of the other stuff first. Selling a house is so stressful! Besides, if you wait a few extra months, Braden will be that much older, you know, to help mop floors and such. :)

Eric said...

if you have all of Braden's stuff it's cool. They don't have to wear the same thing. You don't have to buy anything else.

But that idea will only work if they're both boys.

If it's a girl and boy, you're good on the boy stuff.. Girl stuff you need.

Girl Girl? Everything and lots of prayer.. :)

Tim Riley said...

The very idea of twins blows my mind. Having read your blog for a while now, I know you are ready to handle this huge change.

PJ Mullen said...

My reaction would have been to build a spreadsheet, take inventory of the house and put my kidney up on ebay for the future college expenses and/or weddings. Remember, craigslist is your friend. Our daughter is out of her baby bucket, so that, the two strollers associated with it and her swing are history. A bit sad that it came to a close so quickly, but relieved because we too have no room to spare.

seashore subjects said...

You and Arica are totally up to this challenge. And best wishes for quick sales!

I still can't wait to find out what the combination will be.