We all enter this wild world of fatherhood with no training and virtually no good advice. Of course there is plenty of advice but notice that I said good advice. The only thing I was told, over and over again, was to get plenty fo sleep before our son's arrival. Everyone goes on and on about the lack of sleep. One of my friends even gave me a prescription for Ambien. Of course he is in no way, shape, or form a doctor so I suppose he was kidding. At least I hope he was kidding. There are a million things you need to know or learn in order to be a good dad, but there seems to be no way to learn these skills other than trial and error.
I received several years of training in order to be an engineer. Accountants have their special training and CPA exams. Doctor's and Lawyers have their own post graduate schools to prepare them for their careers. Fatherhood is the most important job that any man will ever have, and there is no training available. Your wife has a baby, and bang, just like that you are a dad. Never fear my friends I have found a wonderful place to turn for dad training. That place is Clown School.
It makes perfect sense as a training ground for new dads. In the beginning you are the child's only means of entertainment. I have found myself singing, dancing, making faces, and every other stupid thing you can imagine. A dad could benefit from learning to perform under pressure as well. Sometimes your child is screaming and only your actions or gestures can make them stop. It is like the kid is on fire and you just want to put him out, yet you don't know what will actually quench the fire. That is the kind of performance under pressure that clown school can help you with. I am certain that the skills learned in clown school could be applied to fit all your needs and molded to include all your kid's toys. After all, isn't a clown's job to entertain kids?
I looked into the Academy of Performing Arts in Clowning and found that their list of courses absolutely backs up my idea. You can see the entire list here. I think we can skip the courses on The Clown Look. I don't know about you personally, but I look like a clown quite enough without the makeup. The next category is a virtual treasure chest of skills that every dad could use. Some of them are balloon twisting, juggling, puppetry, crafts, games, storytelling, and bubbles. Maybe you are the type of dad that likes to plan out a performance. Clown School has the courses you need under comedy material including skit performance, physical comedy, and the use of props. If you are not already contemplating signing up for clown school then hear this. They even give you guidelines for use in all the places you take your kids like restaurants, daycare, parties, and church.
I am sad that I am just thinking of this now. I could have been better prepared for the job of entertaining Braden. I could have been better prepared next time a "fire" breaks out in the restaurant or at a birthday party. It may be too late for me but please tell all your friends who are expecting. There is finally a place where us new dads can learn the skills needed to survive.