Curing the Christmas Blues

Christmas can be a difficult time. I hear so many people say that they can't wait for Christmas to be over. It is too stressful. It is too much work. It costs too much money.

While I understand that this is the true reality we have here in this country, it still makes me sad. Some of you may call me a sentimental fool or something even worse, but Christmas still gives me a warm feeling in my heart. I can't help but be overwhelmed with joy because of the true nature of the holiday.

I have never used this blog to talk about my faith. But earlier this week I saw a tweet from my Pastor that said the number one time people will talk about faith is during the Christmas season. He followed that by saying we have a great opportunity. I would like to take advantage of that opportunity today. If I am honest I have to say that I have always been uncomfortable sharing this part of my life here. But I know from reading The Bible that being afraid to acknowledge my faith is dangerous business.

Jesus tells us, "Whoever acknowledges me before others, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in heaven. " (Mathew 10:32-33)

This combination of things has compelled me to really talk about Christmas as I know it this year. I need to share why Christmas makes me truly happy and excited. How can I not be excited knowing the following truth.

I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord (Luke 2:10-11)

I want to take this opportunity to encourage everyone out there who is feeling down this Christmas to do something about it. I have a three pronged solution. Any one of the three will help lift your spirits. All three should do even better. Don't be down during this wonderful time of year. Take time to reflect on what Christmas means and then share that love with someone else. Without further ado here is my cure for the Christmas blues.

1. Pick up your bible and read the story of Jesus' birth. It is found in both Mathew Chapter 1 and Luke Chapter 2. If you don't have a bible visit Bible Gateway for an online version. God's word will comfort you while reminding you what this holiday is really about. It will also probably take you back to the happy times of your youth when you heard these words every year as part of some Christmas program. The story hasn't changed. We just neglect it.
2. Go to church and take in a Christmas service. One of my favorite services of the year has always been on Christmas Eve. That service is always filled with beautiful Christmas songs. Forget about the stresses of the season. Just sing and be happy.
3. Give. I don't mean give your nephew more toys or give your aunt a fruit cake. Give to the poor. Give to the needy. It's great to drop a few coins in the Salvation Army bucket, but to experience the true joy of giving it is better to get involved in a more personal way. Our church runs an organization in our town called Stomp Out Hunger where we feed local families in need. Our family is participating not only by giving food but by organizing bags and hopefully even delivering food. We all have heard that it is better to give than to receive. Well this year try it out. Be a cheerful giver to those less fortunate.

I am not here to judge how you spend your Christmas. I only want to share the things that make Christmas so special to me in the hope that it will make your holiday a little more enjoyable.

Most of you probably know by now that I am big on prayer. Odds are that if I have ever left a comment on your site then I have said a sincere prayer for you. My prayer right now is for everyone out there to have the best Christmas possible and to share it with all your family and friends. I pray your holiday season is filled with overwhelming love.

Merry Christmas!

Philippians 4:13 and My Life

Now for the post you have all been waiting for. What is it really like for us now that we know we are having twins? I'm glad you asked. Today I offer you some of the top things we are dealing with along with a new motto. After all, if anybody needs a new motto it's me.

Arica, Braden, and I currently live in a 2 bedroom home. That is 0.67 bedrooms per resident, which is a decidedly bad ratio when one is considering expanding their family. Knowing this Arica and I put our house on the market with the optimistic hope that our homes distinct charm and location in one of the cities best neighborhoods would be enough to garner interest even in a terrible economy. Our optimism was rewarded with a harsh slap in the face.

Now that we have found out our family will be growing at twice the expected rate our bedroom per resident ratio is even more troubling. So instead of staying above the fray Arica and I now have to consider jumping into the fight for scraps in this buyers market. We have to fight for buyers with the pit bulls known as repossessed homes. They win out over the people who actually were able to afford their mortgages. Such a wonderful mess we have here.

Basically the choices we have are to severely discount our house in hopes of selling it, build on to our house or somehow transform it, or live in squalor.

In a positive development our Real Estate agent is quitting real estate altogether. Yes, this is a positive development. He has been terrible. I am already excited about the new guy after only talking to him once.

No matter the agent, trying to sell the house leads to the most complicated of financial calculations. I am of course an engineer not an accountant. I do have impressive spread sheet skills, however, that I have been putting to good use trying to figure out where we fit into this whole mess financially.  It goes something like this: My salary minus debt plus anything that is not nailed down and thus available to sell minus diapers for two more kids plus hopefully no more diapers for Braden plus various associated fees that will go away minus increases in insurance and property taxes minus baby gear minus baby food and so on.

Then there is the sleeping situation no matter what house we are in. Braden needs to learn how to sleep in a toddler bed as soon as possible. By doing this Braden will allow us to use his crib for the babies thus avoiding the costly purchase of another crib or two. This money stuff figures into that calculation above some how but my head is still spinning so we'll come back to that. 

The problem with the sleeping thing is that Braden wakes up in the middle of the night and wants to watch cartoons 4 or 5 nights a week. Without a cage keeping him in place there is no way that he will ever go to sleep. He'll be roaming the house all night like a zombie bent on destruction. Yet the situation has to be dealt with soon.

There is also the potty training situation that I have been writing about lately. Getting Braden out of diapers before the babies arrive would be a great help. So we have that going as well.

These are just some highlight points. There are plenty of other areas that need addressing as well. In closing I have to say that I am going to need God on my side for this one. I am so thankful that He has promised to watch after me. I know He will. With that, here is my new motto.

Philippians 4:13: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

And that includes raising Braden and twins.

The Truth Shall Set You Free

The Bible says in John Chapter 8, "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

This comment made by Jesus refers to the monumental truths of his teachings that are the basis of all Christianity, but doesn't any truth no matter how great or small allow you to be free.

In being truthful you are free from worrying about being caught, free from covering up lie after lie, free from telling the wrong lie or forgetting the lie you already told. Yet so many people prefer to lie or cover up things rather than tell the truth.

The virtue of honesty has been on my mind a lot lately because of some things that have happened at Arica's work. Rules were broken. Serious rules. The powers that be tried to cover up the mistakes, keeping them from parents. When the truth got out, and it always does, workers quit, parents pulled their children, and all manner of hell broke loose.

In the end people were more upset about the cover up than the actual wrong doing. Being dishonest about the situation made the proverbial mountain out of a little mole hill. It seems some people will never understand that being honest and up front with others is the only way to live.

Not too long ago a Pastor remarked during a conversation we were having that, "When you live in the truth there is nowhere else to go."

After dissecting the comment for a moment I realized it was truly genius. If you live in the truth you don't have to hide. You don't have to change courses or stories to keep the peace. You don't have to think about what you said or will say next. In the light of the truth their are no dark shadows where things can hide. You don't have to worry about anything like that. You only have to live in the truth. It's a simple fool proof plan.

It's been a long time since I went off on one of my philosophical rants about how a certain trait or virtue is important for me to instill in Braden. It's way over due. Every day as I evaluate the failures in my life I think about how to keep Braden from following in my foot steps. Certainly that begins by changing my habits so that he has a good role model to follow.

In this instance it was actually the misdeeds of others that made me think. Even if it's another person's nightmare there is no reason I can't use it as a reminder for how to raise my son. I know Arica values honesty above almost anything as well. So between the two of us I am certain that we'll bring Braden up to know that when he walks in the truth everything else will take care of itself.

Modern Family

I love the new ABC comedy Modern Family. It is one of the funniest new shows I have seen in quite a while. Besides being funny it also gives us real proof that Ed O'Neil did not fall off the face of the earth after "Married With Children." If you are a fan of the nearly extinct genre once known as the sitcom I highly recommend that you watch. Below is a clip from the show.


The show also has me thinking today about how families welcome new members and how they survive many of the changes in today's family life. Families like the one depicted in the show are more and more common. Our family is pretty normal, but we can learn a bit from the show as well.

My family growing up was very conservative. They still are. I was raised inside a tight knit group that very rarely welcomed any outsiders. If you married someone unlike the rest of the family you were asking for trouble. The new blood would not be turned away, but they might not be treated as well as they should.

I am not talking about differences anything like you see in the show above or anything like you see in much of America. I am talking about a different home life, a different way of handling conflict, a different church life, different parenting, or any other number of minor differences. I don't mean Muslim vs. Christian, heterosexual vs. homosexual, or vegetarian vs. carnivore. The differences need only to be minute to raise an eyebrow.

As you may have guessed by now I have been a victim of this type of behavior. Arica and I have struggled with my family for years now. It is a difficult thing to go through for anyone. I can't help but watch this fictional TV show with all their problems and all their differences and wish my life more closely resembled their dysfunction. I can only dream of a situation where differences can be accepted and even celebrated. Most importantly I would love a situation where differences made us stronger rather than tore us apart.

I have never written a Christian message in this space before. It is a big part of my life, but I am not comfortable preaching as I am sure most of you are not comfortable being preached too. For once I will break that rule. My daily bible reading today was 1 Corinthians 13. Most all of you readers are familiar with this text whether you are Christian or not. It was even recited in the decidedly non-religious movie "Wedding Crashers."

The part I want to share today is this "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails"

Any "Modern Family" can be strong and accepting of anything as long as they have love. I hope all of you experience this type of love in your family life today and always.

Disagreed with Greed

As many of you know I am a huge Pearl Jam fan. I love their music and especially the singing of front man Eddie Vedder. Eddie and I couldn't be more different in our beliefs, but I have never looked to rock and roll for a role model. I like his music. His political leanings have no bearing on me.

Not long ago Eddie did his first solo album. He wrote and recorded the music for the film Into the Wild. One particular song entitled “Society” talks about the topic of greed and materialism. This song and in particular the words below are the inspiration for this post today.

We have a greed

With which we have agreed

And you think you have to

Want more than you need

Until you have it all

You won't be free

-Eddie Vedder

Everyone knows about greed. People familiar with the Bible know it as one of the seven deadly sins. People not familiar with those teachings are all too familiar with the damage greed can do as well.

The current financial situation was fueled by greed. The fat cats on Wall Street wanted more and more so they made riskier and riskier investments. Bankers all across the country wanted more and more so they made loans to all sorts of people regardless of credit. Even the people taking out the loans were greedy sometimes. Maybe they bought a house beyond their means because they felt they had to have it. This is not to say that every banker, financial advisor, broker, or home owner is guilty. The system worked in such a way that greed drove things to a breaking point. I know very little if anything about finances. I am an engineer that knows about physics and other exciting things like that, but I think everyone will agree with me that greed was a major culprit.

Corporate greed is not the type of greed that concerns me as a parent. Of course the financial collapse concerns me, but not from the point of view of raising my son. I am much more concerned about the rampant materialism in our society. Nothing is enough anymore. People must have big homes, fancy cars, boats, motorcycles, clothes, jewelry, and on and on. Many people want and want until they are in credit card hell.

Some degree of materialism affects everyone. I am certainly not above the fray. Right now I want a new fishing rod and a four wheeler. Sometimes I want a new video game or something else. This is simply a part of our human nature.

I believe that the ability to be satisfied with what you have can bring a great deal of happiness into someone's life. Being thankful and content is quite a blessing. I am not saying that we shouldn't want nice things. Buying a new car is definitely not a punishable offense. I do think, however, the constant desire for something more that leads to dissatisfaction and unhappiness is damaging.

I want to teach Braden to enjoy the things he has been given. He will always want toys and other fun things, but hopefully I can teach him to accept it when he is denied. I want to raise a kid that is content with his family, friends, and the things he has. I have no idea how to go about doing this. There is no great plan in the works, and I know it won't be easy. The effort will be worth it though, because success means Braden will grow up to be a better adjusted, happier person. Hopefully he will grow up to be the type of person who gives to others rather than lining his own pockets.

I have not always been the best role model for this type behavior, but fatherhood is helping me learn in a hurry.

Acts of Random Kindness

On my way to work today I took my normal route down the bypass. As I exited the bypass and pulled up to the yield sign I found the normal morning traffic. At times it can be difficult to find an opening at this intersection. Today a nice lady in a maroon SUV let me out in front of her. That in itself is not much news. It happens every day all across America. After I gave a courtesy wave and drove down the road I glanced in the rear view mirror. The same lady had let out two other drivers for a total of three or the entire line. It is a sad commentary on our society that I consider this a newsworthy event. People today are normally too self-centered and cynical to help other people or to even say hello. As a dad I hate that this is the world where I will raise my child.

The movie Evan Almighty was considered by most a colossal flop. It took hundreds of millions to produce and didn't take in nearly that much. I watched because I love Steve Carell. He can make me laugh without saying a word. The movie, although not that good, had a message that I thought was wonderful. The whole plot of the movie was about building an Ark like the story of Noah in the Bible. In the end we come to find out that the ARK represents Acts of Random Kindness. If everyone tries to build their own ARK we can make a huge difference in the world. The love given by a simple helping hand can spread from giver to receiver and then out into the world.

Growing up I was taught to open the door for ladies. I still do this for my wife and any other women on a collision course with me and the door. I try to give women or older people a hand with their groceries when I pass by. Just a few weeks ago I helped a lady at the gas station by jump starting her car. I will admit that I am not the greatest with the ARK concept but I try my best.

It is absolutely imperative to me that I pass on these manners to Braden. I want him to say yes sir and no ma'am. I want him to hold the door for his Mom and for the other ladies nearby. I want him to say hello to people and offer kind words. When he is old enough to drive I want him to let people in all the time, maybe even 3 at a time like the lady today. I hope all you parents out there agree with me on this. We can teach our kids the proper way to interact with others, and in so doing make the world a better place. Chivalry doesn't have to be dead after all.