Dear Mother Nature

Let's continue on this outdoor adventure train of thought for one more post. I've been locked up indoors since deer season ended in December, but not too long ago I was spending significant time in the great outdoors. And during that time, while I was perched atop my deer stand NOT killing deer, I thought of all sorts of questions.

These questions weren't actually formed by my own curiosity, but more out of a fear of Braden's coming curiosity. Right now he only asks "What's that!" He asks it all the time. Sometimes he'll ask it 50 straight times. But it is still a much much easier question to answer than a "Why?" question.

Sitting in the woods I thought of several questions that Braden could potentially put out there some day. Questions that I can't answer. So today I'm asking someone who might know.

Dear Mother Nature,

• Do woodpeckers ever get a headache?
• Do squirrels suffer from the small man syndrome or are they always making all that noise for another reason?
• Deer taste good and they seem smart in order to help them survive. Conversely, do dumb animals taste bad?
• Why did you  make mosquitoes? WHY!?!
• Why did you make armadillos so dumb and ugly? It just doesn't seem fair.
• Why did the chicken cross the road?...To prove to the armadillo it was possible. Sorry. I knew the answer to that one.
• Do deer really hate me?
• If a tree falls in the woods and nobody is there to hear it, does it make a sound?
• Can you get me tickets to the Super Bowl?

Sorry I got off track there at the end. In closing thanks for making all the natural wonders, animals, plants, and trees that I enjoy so much. And if you can get me tickets just shoot me an email.

Hunting Safely

I'm going to break up this Birthday week with a little talk about deer hunting. Modern gun season in Arkansas opens on Saturday, and I will join thousands of other hunters that morning in my quest to kill a deer. Time in the woods has always been a little like therapy for me. It helps me decompress. If the decompression gets interrupted by killing a deer all the better.

As I have mentioned before many of my greatest memories with my Dad involve hunting. I can't wait until Braden is old enough to hunt with me. Those times shared in the woods will be amazing. But just like any other father I will have the responsibility of teaching my son how to be safe in the woods.

Hunting probably scares a lot of parents. I know Arica is not crazy about guns herself. I try to comfort her by saying that I am extremely careful with guns and I will always teach Braden to be as well. "Unloaded" guns kill a lot of people. That is why it is imperative to treat any gun as loaded, and to never point a gun towards another person. NEVER.

When I first started hunting my dad showed me a demonstration of a guns destructive power. I'm not saying I will do this, but it has stuck with me all my life. My dad took his shotgun and shot a roughly 3-inch diameter tree. Of course the gun destroyed the tree toppling it to the ground. Dad said something to the effect of "just imagine what it could do to a person."  That may be a little too John Wayne for today's society, but it worked.

I don't think many of my readers hunt. Maybe there are some of you lurking out there that prefer to remain quiet. If so, please be careful as you hit the woods this year. Please teach your children gun safety. The anti gun nuts already want to take our guns from us. Don't give them a reason.

Random Tuesday Thoughts

I am trying to get back to a regular blogging schedule. Doing that means returning to one of my all time favorite formats, the random thoughts post. So buckle up and enjoy the random musings of the man who spends his days cyphering on how to turn poo into energy and his nights consistently getting outsmarted by an 11 month old.

People walk up and down a street near our house all the time. There is no sidewalk, but the foot traffic is pretty heavy. The reason for all the walking is, of course, to get to Wal-Mart. Every day when I pass these people they stop walking and move over off the road. Moving over is obviously a great idea, but why do they stop and stare at me? I will never understand this behavior. I think it is safer to keep walking because we all know it is harder to hit a moving target.

Why must we say I write well, he plays well, or she sings well. Why can't we replace well with good. Why is good an adjective and well an adverb? To me using well sounds uppity and snobbish. Can't we get this rule changed? Who are the adverb police? Who do I need to call? Mr. Webster? King James? Tiger Woods?

I put one of our refrigerator magnet letters on the dish washer the other day. When Braden passed by yesterday and saw it, he put it back on the refrigerator. Now if I could only hone this ability to be used for putting up his toys.

Every day at lunch I feed the dogs. As soon as Braden hears me getting the dog food he races for the sliding glass doors. He likes to watch me go out with the dogs. It is a silly little thing, but it has become a fun ritual for father and son. I think it is cool that he can recognize what is going on too.

I will be returning to Scotland next week. With any luck this will be my last overseas business trip ever. I hope so.

I went deer hunting last weekend and killed nothing. I saw a doe, a deer, a female deer. Actually I saw several, but I chose not to shoot them in search of the illusive buck deer. I think there is a lesson in there about birds in a bush or something.

Arica stayed overnight at deer camp with me on Friday night. This was the first time she has ever done this (and probably the last). She slept in the freezing cold camper because our heater went out. She slept using other people's blankets because I forgot to bring blankets of our own. She slept on a bed too small for us both. Actually I don't think she slept at all. The point of this is to say thank you Arica for being such a good wife. Thanks for putting up with the atrocities of deer camp to spend some time with me.

Deer Hunting With Dad

I feel it is my duty as a card carrying southerner to let all you city slickers know that deer season in Arkansas opens on Saturday. Actually archery season is already open, but muzzle loading season opens this weekend. I don't bow hunt because it is just too much work. You have to get the deer too close before you can shoot them. Many of you might think I should give the furry woodland creatures a better chance, but I say you are wrong. I am not hurting the deer population with my gun toting ways.

Just to give you some proof that I am actually a hunter and not someone posing as such, here is a picture of the biggest deer I have ever killed. It was several years ago but is still a fond memory. Actually I am just showing this picture because like all hunters I like to show off my trophies. What kind of hunter am I if I can't use the power of the internet to show my kills to strangers.


If the dead animal depicted here makes you feel squeamish don't worry. My wife and mom have never liked looking at them either. When I stop and think about it I have to laugh. What sensible person carries around dead carcasses to show off to all his family and friends.

A deer hunter, that's who. Stop judging us.

I am excited for this season because it is the first one I will get to share with my little buddy Braden. I have already taken him to deer camp twice this year just to hang out. He loves being outside and with years of deer camp fun ahead surely he will take up hunting like me.

I can already see us spending time in the woods together. I will teach him about the different types of trees. We will learn the names of all the birds we see and most of the ones we hear. We will watch the squirrels scurrying about tending to their daily business. You never know what we might see...bears, raccoons, foxes, coyotes, or something even wilder.

I will teach Braden gun safety. He will learn to hunt with me. Hopefully one day we will get a deer close enough for him to shoot. I killed my first one when I was nine years old. I still have the youth model shotgun that I used. I am already excited to hand that down to Braden as well. Bonding over manly things is something all fathers dream of doing with their sons and I am no different.

For a country boy there is nothing quite like deer camp. You get to hang out with the guys in the woods. You ride 4-wheelers and 4x4 trucks. You can explore. You build fires. You shoot guns. If you are lucky you can take home a trophy buck. Even in those down years you still have the camaraderie to make the time special.

Deer hunting is one of my enduring hobbies. I hope to keep hunting as long as I am physically able. Sharing a lifelong enjoyment like this with Braden will be amazing. With that in mind we will dress him up in his camouflage and take him to deer camp this weekend, and we will be coming back often.