Beware of Toddler

So you're all tired of hearing the southerners talk about snow, right? Well there is one detail that has yet to be discussed at Life of a New Dad. This topic is the cold weather's effect on the Forgotten Furry Children. You might recall from past posts that we have two dogs who live outside. Once in a great while they get to drag their dirty hides into the house for a little R&R. You might say it's like the doggy spa treatment.

Last year when the temperatures dropped to single digits for a few nights we let the dogs in. It was a fairly quiet process. They got cleaned up. They warmed up. And they slept for nearly the entire time. Braden was nice to them. It was a fun family time.

Well with all the snow and temperatures getting into the teens the last two nights, the dogs have spent a few nights under our roof again. I know that makes all you animal lovers out there happy. It made us happy too. We love our dogs and it's nice to have them in the house sometimes.

It is not nice however when one of the dogs roams the house all night long. She woke us up eating her food at 2 am. Then at 3 all her wandering around woke up Braden. He stayed awake for 3 hours. I think the dogs have probably lost their spa privileges for a while.

But it wasn't all fun and games for our canine companions either. In the past year Braden has developed a bit of an ornery streak. See what I mean.

Ordinary Average Guy

It's no secret that having a kid changes the way you look at things. Everything from picture frames (potential glass shards) to flowers (deadly bee attractants) have a different look now.

Having a kid can change the way you watch TV and movies. Any show with a kidnapped child is extra difficult to watch when you have children of your own.  Of course you might need to change your R rated movie watching habits as well.

Once you are a parent you look at the teenagers at the mall differently. Your comments go from these kids drive me crazy to I would never let my daughter dress like that or where are their parents. Of course teenagers at the mall still drive me crazy.

Music is affected by having kids too. Obviously you might listen to more children's songs and less Metallica, and some of the songs you continue listening too will have different meanings altogether. For instance good ole country songs about father and son are more special to me now.

Yesterday Braden helped me see another song in a new light. We were playing outside in the backyard like we do most afternoons after work. Braden was picking up rocks and putting them through the chain link fence. I was petting the dogs and not paying much attention to his rock moving chores.

Then I heard Braden grunt something at me from my left. I turned to see his outstretched hand offering me a gift. It was dog poo.

At that moment when I should have been thinking of every disease on earth all I could hear was Joe Walsh singing in my head. With my apologies to Mr. Walsh the soundtrack of my life at that very moment went something like this:

Braden picked up the dog doo, I'm glad it was hard. ruff. ruff.

I Want Global Warming

We are at the beginning of a three day stretch of bitter cold here in Arkansas. Everyone north of the Mason-Dixon line go ahead and laugh now, and get it out of the way.

Last night the forecast low temperature was 11 degrees. I don't know what the actual low was, but it was 12 when I went to work this morning.  The forecast lows for the next two nights are 7 and 8.

Before we move on I would like to list a few things that you are more likely to see in Arkansas than a temperature of 7 degrees.

• Haley's comet
• Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny playing Marco Polo in the YMCA pool
• A Razorback fan wearing an I love Texas t-shirt
• A hillbilly with a full set of teeth, wearing shoes, and buying soap
• Bigfoot driving a John Deere lawnmower through the Wal Mart parking lot
• A redneck that thinks Hank Williams Jr. is the antichrist
• A ban on guns

Now on with the story. These temperatures were cold enough for us to do the unthinkable last night. The forgotten furry children slept inside for the first time in Braden's life.  They were actually banished before Braden's arrival although I can't remember exactly when. Now they have returned.

Much like Cousin Eddie the dogs are not normally fit for indoor living. In other words they needed a bath.  Since Braden now uses the tub, we decided not to introduce a years worth of dog filth into his little bastion of cleanliness.

Of course I wasn't going to bathe them outside only to watch the water freeze to their coats and worse yet my hands. So I took a shower with my dogs yesterday.  Don't worry, I wore my swimming suit. I am not about to leave certain things exposed while in a 3 ft by 3 ft tile and glass cage with either of those turkey killers.

The night went really well. At first Braden kept his distance. When the dogs got in his personal space he would push them away or throw the occasional jab. By his bed time we were all in the floor together playing happily.

The dogs were well behaved. Obviously they were basking in the warmth of indoor living. After Braden went to bed and things slowed down they slept. I guess it has been a long time since they had a nice warm night of sleep.

Now if we could only get Braden to follow their lead.

Killer Dogs

I learned a valuable lesson in parenting on Monday. Every action we take affects our children. We are completely responsible for how they turn out. If we take a different path we get a different result. So, as parents, we must think long and hard about the decisions we make regarding our children.

Of course any reasonable human should have already known that. I, in fact, did know that already, but sometimes something so vile happens that it makes things all the more clear. One of these things happened at our house Monday.

An innocent creature died. He was no doubt living his life high on the hog. He probably had just enjoyed a nice meal. His girlfriend was surely nearby as he strutted his stuff and showed off his rugged good looks. Then something happened. Perhaps a stranger came to close. Maybe a loud noise or a mean word.

Whatever startled the victim clearly was enough to cause him to lose his senses. And because he lost his sense he then lost his life. It must have been a terrifying ordeal in order to make this fellow commit such a crucial error.

My actions led us to this point by seriously affecting our forgotten furry children. No doubt my dogs have been hardened by life outside. They were once lovable creatures that slept at the foot of our bed. They were always nearby hoping for a pat on the head or trying to sneak a lick on the hand. How could these lovable creatures go so bad. Living in the wild and fending for yourself apparently sets off something in a dogs head. They become very territorial. They are ready to defend their turf with their lives.

The way of life in the wild is kill or be killed. This time my dogs killed.

And that turkey never had a chance.

Babies and Dogs

This Mother's Day weekend Braden had his first meeting with a dog somewhere near his size. Our forgotten furry children are quite large. Otter last checked in at 98 pounds while his side kick Abbey tipped the scales at 55 pounds.

Their size doesn't bother Braden. He loves to go outside and watch them play. I regularly sit with Braden on a bench in our back yard. Otter and Abbey will get as close as I allow. Braden likes to reach out and pet their noses, and he seems to enjoy the finger licking that comes as a result.

Even though the size doesn't seem to bother Braden it presents obstacles. The combination of dogs is just too much mass to deal with in the house. They are forever shedding and tracking in mud and dirt. It was just not possible for us to continue cleaning up after these beasts. Therefore they stay outside out of Braden's reach. He absolutely loves them, but the sliding glass door presents a barrier to him.

The other drawback of size is potential injury. Otter like many labs is extremely hyper. He jumps and runs and bounds around everywhere. He is constantly nudging, licking, or doing something else to get your attention. He wants to play all the time. In our confined area that does not mix well with a baby. Due to all these things Braden has had no extended play time with the dogs.

This past weekend Braden met my brother and sister-in-law's dog Buster. He is a unique dog to say the least, but he is fun. Buster loved Braden, and Braden loved him back. Buster was continually coming up to Braden for attention. Buster won't come to me, but I guess he likes little people. I am sure one of Braden's new sidekick's missions was to sneak a baby toy. You can see him eyeing them in the picture. To Buster's credit he never tried to get one. He was well behaved.

Braden wanted to feel him and "pet" him. Whenever Buster would leave the room Braden would look all around on the floor for his new friend. Braden probably had a side mission too. Maybe he wanted to eat Buster. Maybe he wanted to pull out his hair. Secret agendas or not the two got along great.

While little dogs are not exactly my cup of tea, I certainly learned one of their strong points over the weekend. They are great children's toys.

The Forgotten Furry Children

I am sure some of my wonderful readers have pets and children. Perhaps you were like me and had pets first and then children later. Maybe some of you found that this had no affect on your relationship with your pets. I assume that is possible. For me becoming a dad has led to the unfortunate situation of having our forgotten furry children living alone in the back yard.

We have 2 dogs. Otter is a yellow lab. He will be 5 years old next month. Yes I stole my profile name from my dog. When I started this blog I wanted to write anonymously to some degree so I made up a name. I figured if it worked for Samuel Clemons then it would work for me. Back to the canine Otter. He was my original room mate and my best friend before I met Arica. He lived in the house and went everywhere with me. What an emotional roller coaster it must have been for him spiraling all the way from number one sidekick to sharing number 3 with Abbey. Abbey is our reddish brown mix of a dog that we adopted from the animal rescue people. She is always happy like she knows that we saved her from a life on the streets.

A few months before we found out Arica was pregnant, we decided to banish the dogs to the back yard. Otter weights 95 pounds and Abbey chimes in at 55 pounds. That is way too much dog to have banging around in the house. They stayed outside during the day and then came in to sleep at night bringing all the mud in the back yard with them. When they weren't muddy they were shedding blankets of hair all around the house. We finally decided it was too much work trying to clean up after 150 pounds worth of dogs. It was at this juncture that they became a permanent outdoor fixture.

At first I still went out and played with them every day. As the days went by our playing time lessened. Later after Braden was born I just didn't have much time to play fetch or otherwise entertain them at all. Otter having once been the king of the castle still looks upset by this development. It makes me feel bad but there isn't much I can do. They are fed well and have each other for entertainment. When spring comes I will take them fishing with me like always. Later in the summer we will pile in the boat and go for a day of swimming. I still love my dogs but my days as their best buddy are probably over. The good thing is that Braden will step right up and take my place. He will love the dogs like crazy once he is older. They will play together every day, and Braden will become their new best friend. He is already on his way because he laughs and smiles every time they come to the sliding glass door to check him out.