Family vs. Fraternity: Awake at 3 AM

I wrote a post titled Family vs. Fraternity some months ago. It was an attempt to tell stories about two vastly different parts of my life. It is really a weak attempt to compare life before and after children like millions of others have done before me. In other words, it is not an entirely unique concept.

Nonetheless, I am going to do it again.

We have had some rough nights with Braden lately. He is typically a great sleeper. He has been falling asleep on his own and sleeping through the night for months. For some reason during the last month to six weeks he has started waking up some nights and refusing to go back to sleep. He plays and talks and screams and keeps everyone awake.

So this led me to thinking about the different reasons a person might be up at 3 am. I have compiled two top 10 lists below in this version of Family vs. Fraternity.

Family:

1. Changing a dirty diaper
2. Cleaning yourself up after stupidly trying to change a dirty diaper in the dark
3. Crawling on your hands and knees in the dark looking for a lost pacifier
4. Retrieving lost monkeys
5. Applying medication for teething pain
6. Discussing the virtues of sleeping at night with a 14 month old child
7. Discussing the virtues of sleeping at night with yourself
8. Feeding the kid something in the hope that this will cure his sleeplessness
9. Yelling at the dogs to shut up because they woke the baby
10. Rearranging or swapping out lighted singing toys to try to soothe the little man back to sleep

Fraternity:

1. Bar hopping
2. A friend called you to get them out of jail
3. Waiting on a friend to get you out of jail
4. Poker night
5. Watching Braveheart on stolen HBO for the 57th time
6. No class tomorrow and sleeping is just boring
7. Impromptu road trip to Memphis and/or Tunica Casinos
8. Cramming for a test. Seriously. Stop laughing.
9. Debating the pros and cons of Jim Beam vs. Jack Daniels
10. Party at the fraternity house

Family vs. Fraternity: Morning Chores

I was watching an episode of Seinfeld recently in which Jerry had to dog sit for a guy he meets on an airplane. The guy got sick and was taken to the hospital leaving Jerry with the dog. A conversation between Jerry and Elaine about picking up dog poo reminded me of some dog watching I had to do in college.

I shared a two room suite with three other guys. One of these guys was my big brother J. Murray. He stayed at his girlfriend's house nearly every night while his Boston Terrier Lynx stayed behind. Since he was never around to watch his own dog the chores fell to us. My little brother Shakey was a pledge and naturally we made him take care of the dog. Remembering his morning ritual has spawned a new, possibly recurring feature here at Life of a New Dad called Family vs. Fraternity. Today we examine the morning chores.

Fraternity: About 7:30 am every day Lynx starts barking at the door. After it gets loud enough to arouse us from our alcohol induced slumber B.A. and I yell at Shakey. Take Lynx outside! Shakey dressed in only his boxers and Doc Martens takes him outside. Shaky weighs about 135 and is white as snow. Imagine everyone going to class in the morning as he stands outside the fraternity house in the aforementioned dress smoking a cigarette and letting the dog relieve itself. Ahhhhh College.

Family: I set my alarm clock every night although I actually hear it go off about once a month. Every day Braden rouses both Arica and I from our slumber. Someone has to get up anywhere from 6 to 7 (we are late sleepers) and feed the poor boy. First we change his diaper. After the bottle we try to get him back to sleep. My how things change.