Potty Training and Sharp Knives

I tried a few weeks back to blog more. The results of that effort were the same as any of my other attempts to be a super blogger. I get on a little roll and then the circumstances of life just push blogging aside. I've been busy and not blogging as you can plainly see. Today I'll spit out several topics that I haven't had time to flesh out into their own posts. I think I'll call it Random Tuesday Thoughts unless that is already taken. So Random Tuesday with no button. Enjoy.

• I mentioned the review I was going to do recently. It turns out that I don't actually have to do the review on this blog so you are all saved from that excitement. I am going to tell you what I bought though. I got a nice German made knife sharpener because every parent knows the most important thing to have in a home with young children is sharp knives.
• Braden has been a potty training wonder. He rarely has accidents of any kind. He tells Arica or me when he has to pee or poop. He wears a diaper at nap time but never pees in it. He still pees some at night but not nearly as much. I am ecstatic about how this has gone. Thank you Arica and Braden.
• Braden does other things at night that are not so much a source of pride. For the past week he has been staying up for two hours or more past his bedtime. He never gets out of bed. He just lays in there and talks and screams and laughs. Sometimes he cries but not often. He just won't sleep. The kid is staying up past our bedtime. Yet he still needs a nap to make it through the day. We are stuck in some sort of in between stage of sleep development. It is very frustrating.
• I put my boat up for sale Monday via the nut house they call Craigslist. That place is full of winners. Anyway I was contacted 8 times in the first 24 hours. I'm starting to think that I should have asked for more money.
• Braden is nuts for the Scooby Doo movie. I'm not talking about any of the dozens of cartoon movies. He doesn't like the cartoons at all. He likes the live action movie with Freddie Prinze and Buffy. He laughs all the time at CGI Scooby. I have seen the movie numerous times now, and it's tolerable. I think Mathew Lillard should have got an Oscar Nomination for his portrayal of Shaggy. Either that or I've been sniffing too much glue.
• Finally, I have to remind everyone who is interested that we will be finding out the sex of our twins on Monday. So stay tuned for that, especially if you bet money on any of the possible outcomes in Vegas.

Random Christmas Thoughts

I haven't done a random Tuesday post since December 22, 2009. That is exactly one year from tomorrow. This is Tuesday and this is a random thoughts post so I suppose technically it could be a Random Tuesday. Instead though I am calling it a Christmas random post because it's my blog and I can do what I want. Read on for this version of Random Christmas Thoughts on Tuesday.

• If you are new around here click over and read the post I wrote about the true Christmas Spirit that our family experienced last year because of a stranger at Wal Mart. I read it again recently and I am still amazed.
• The top of our Christmas tree was bent when we put it up this year. In all my infinite wisdom I tried to bend the metal post back straight while it was in its place at the top of the tree. This genius move snapped one of the plastic supports that holds the post in place. For a day or two we had a leaning tree. I eventually fixed it by snipping up a clothes hanger and duct taping enough pieces together to wedge them into place and provide the support missing because of the broken plastic rib. They don't teach you that in engineering school.
• Our Church study group, for lack of a better term, is delivering food to needy families tonight. I am really excited. What better time of year is there to spread the love of Jesus by "Loving your neighbor".
• Christmas shopping for Braden is fun. Apparently I am just a larger than normal kid with facial hair.
• I'm ready to see Christmas Story again. This will be my first viewing since actually visiting the house. Don't believe me? Here it is.

• While visiting the house we got a leg lamp night light and a leg light ornament complete with Fra-GEE-Lay box. And stay tuned for a leg lamp picture of yours truly and my better half in the days to come.
• Finally it's time for some Christmas music. Last year I shared some Bob and Doug and Cheech and Chong. These are two of my favorite Christmas songs, but they are more reminiscent of a Canadian Christmas and a Christmas spent on hallucinogens than Christmas as I know it. This year I thought a little Charlie Daniels Christmas Time Down South would be more fitting. Warning: May pertain reference to redneck activity.

Random Thanksgiving Eve

I have some odds and ends to share before taking a Thanksgiving break. So read on for some important information that could very well make your life better. If it makes your life worse there will be no refund.

• First some business my friend Surprised Mom, or should I say City Mom Chicago, is now the happy owner of a toilet wand and a football thanks to the folks at Clorox. Feel free to use the toilet wand in an attempt to magically change the football into a better prize.
• Dressing or stuffing, if you prefer, is my favorite Thanksgiving food. I make my all time favorite dressing. I also get to make the dressing for Arica's family Thanksgiving. Let this be a lesson to all the kids out there. If you love a certain food then learn to cook it yourself. Never let your appetite go unrequited.
• Braden had his second nurse maid's elbow incident Monday. The doctor sent us for an x-ray but we didn't go. That's right. I decided I knew more than the doctor. And I was right. The doctor's office called later and was less than pleased. They said, "we have been waiting to hear something all day." Now they know how their patients feel.
• I am getting more and more blog traffic but fewer and fewer comments. What gives? I blame Twitter. Everyone is over there talking all the time. If you are here today leave a comment. If you are shy just say Hello.
• Braden is going through a three week spell where he wakes up between three and four every night. He will not go back to sleep. Sometimes I try to take him to the couch and sleep with him. He will just sit up and stare off into the darkness. The only way to make him happy is to turn on the TV. Eventually he will get tired and go to sleep if you just leave him alone. So for the last several nights I have watched cartoons in the wee hours of the morning. The Disney lineup goes something like this Little Einsteins, Timmy Time, Chuggington, Handy Manny, and eventually you get to Mickey Mouse. This is not information that I care to know.
• Sometimes it is impossible to get a picture of Braden. Arica will take 20 pictures and every single one will be of the side of Braden's head. He has an uncanny ability to avoid the camera without even breaking stride. He just carries on with a turned head. Then sometimes he gets right up in your face and says CHEESE!

Half Baked

I dont' have any good ideas for post. I had nothing Friday. Nothing occurred to me over the weekend. Here it is late Monday afternoon and my mind is as empty as the Chicago Cubs trophy case.

I blame my lack of creativity on the weather. My brain is fried. Actually since it is wrapped up in my head it is more likely baked. I am half baked, but not like the guys in the movie of the same name. Rather than go mute I think we should break out the trusty old bullet point post. That's a great way to bring together several disjointed topics that represent my disjointed thought process at the moment.

So there it is. I am half-baked by the sun and bringing you bullet points.

• Braden still likes shoes although not as much. He loves to put on his "bip bops" though. He can't leave the house without them.
• I have been feeding my neighbors cat, the semi wild turkeys, and the raccoons at his house for two weeks now while he is gone on vacation. Braden loves to go and help me with the feeding. He always gets his hat and his "bip bops" when I get home from work. Then he is ready to feed the "tu-teys".
• Yes I said that I am feeding raccoons. My neighbor asked and I obliged. I would rather shoot them, but he probably doesn't have a need for coonskin caps.
• The same coons come into my garage and eat my dog food sometimes. I guess I better keep feeding them next door to keep them at bay.
• My neighbors cat has decided his owner is not coming home and took up residence outside our door last night. It meowed all night. You try to be nice and this is what you get. A cat. And who really wants a cat?
• Arica killed another snake a couple weeks ago. She attacked it, but it got away under a bush. It turned up dead a few days later. That puts the standings over the last two years at Arica 2, Robert 1. My wife is the family snake killer. Don't mess with her.
• I thought I lost my keys to Arica's car today.That will put you in a panic about as quick as anything. I tried to blame it on Braden, but Arica put a stop to that. She was right. I had just misplaced them. In a related note I am still looking for the spare set of truck keys I lost in 2008.
• Not long ago Arica spotted and I killed a scorpion in our house. Yes a scorpion.
• Is anyone out there starting to fear for us with the snakes, coons, and scorpions stalking our house.
• In a totally unrelated note we still have our house on the market if anyone is interested. Just like the Kamp Komfort clerk said on National Lampoon's Vacation, our price "includes scenery and wildlife fun".

Catching Up

I was gone on vacation last week. I haven't quit blogging just yet. Yesterday, I did write a farewell post, but I just couldn't bring myself to post it. Quitting is not in my blood. Even when I want to quit sometimes it's still impossible.

So for now I am still here pounding the keyboard. Feel free to start a Save the Otter internet campaign. Get me enough love and I may continue doing this for a long time. Who knows?

Today I will touch on a few subjects using the Life of a New Dad favorite bullet style.

• First I have some business to take care of. The nice folks at Dove sent me some free soap. I get offered free crap from time to time, but this was different. I need soap. I use it every day. How could I turn down a free bottle of something I needed. So I am trying a new soap. Arica said it smells good and that is pretty much enough for me. I feel clean when I use it, but I didn't get out the microscope to check. I am confident enough in my clean sensing skills. I don't like the "Active Clean Shower Tool" though. It is just a loofah wrapped in a rubber housing with an exterior pad. It doesn't fool me. I don't wear pink. I don't wear visors. And I don't use loofahs. So I recommend Dove Men +Care if you like to be clean. I don't know what it costs though. If you go to buy some and it costs $7 a bottle then complain to Dove not me. Mine was free.
• We took Braden to an amusement park, a water park, the zoo, Grant's Farm, and his very first Cardinals game on our vacation. It was a great trip. We have plenty of pictures that I might get around to sharing some day. At the end of the week it was nice to be home though. Braden agreed. He went around the house digging out all his toys to make sure they were still there.
• Grant's farm must be one of the only places in America that has a petting zoo, a carousel, and free beer. I say America because I imagine they have places like that on every corner in Germany that also include sausage trees and BMW bumper cars.
• We had a mouse. I stress HAD. He is now gone from the ranks of the living. Our furry friend had been wreaking havoc for quite a while. I kept forgetting to buy traps. I am an out of sight out of mind kind of guy. Finally I got traps two days ago. I opted for the glue traps like an idiot. I guess I felt like they were now the industry standard for mouse killing. They were also the cheapest traps. Yahoo! I saved a dime! They must be for city mice because our country strong mouse woke me up at 4:30 am banging around under the stove while escaping from his sticky demise. Last night I placed an old school snap and kill trap right back in the same spot. This morning we had a dead mouse. People have been using dead fall traps for thousands of years. Why in the world didn't I try them first. Let this be a lesson to all of you. If you want to kill animals go for the most vicious forceful type of trap you can find.
• I had a job offer this past week. I went in to quit my job yesterday and ended up getting a promotion of sorts instead. See above about my trouble quitting. Now I get to keep my same relaxing position with a promise of zero travelling unless it is an absolute emergency. I also got a raise and some profit sharing guarantees. Now I might need to stop blogging so much and try to make some sales.
• The week before we went on vacation, right before I had two job interviews, we put our house on the market. It is not a great time to sell a house, but we are trying anyway. We don't want to live in a two bedroom palace anymore. We need a larger palace in which to store our wares.

As you can see we have been quite busy lately. Wish us luck selling our house and in returning to our normal workaday routines.

The Seven Dwarfs Open a Bar

I have stopped doing all types of themed posts. I have pulled out of the little communities tied together by Mr. Linky. I like it this way. There are no rules or other encumberments to my creative process. Blogging may not pay enough to fill a zippo with fuel, but at least at this job I can be my own boss.

Having said that I sometimes miss being able to vent my random thoughts onto an unsuspecting public like Homer Simpson vents explosive gas to the atmosphere from Sector 7G.

Since I am the boss I am instituting a random thoughts posting this Friday. I shall call it Venerdi Venting. I like Venerdi rather than Vendredi because who doesn't prefer Italians to the French. Really? Who?

• There is a bar in town that has changed names from Slim's to Heavy's. It is safe to say that Too Tall's and Shorty's will be next. Other possible names include Happy's, Sneezy's, Grumpy's, and Doc's.
• Why must the wholesale clubs, like Sam's, hire the most talkative people to check your receipts as you leave the store. Every time I go I have to wait in line while some pensioner talks to a random stranger about the weather or the price of corn. These highlighter armed security checkers need to be focused on keeping people from stealing 20 pound cans of Folgers rather than chatting up the customers.
• Since we have been getting up earlier to get ready for school I have become a brief watcher of the Disney morning line up. Is there a worse song than the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse song "Hot Dog, Hot Dog, Hot Diggety Dog." What is that? Whatever happened to M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E.
• Why does the best weather of the year in Arkansas come with unbearable wind. You can go outside and enjoy the weather as long as you don't wear loose clothing and fly away like a kite.
• I recently got to experience a new joy of parenting for the first time. It was not for the faint of heart. Let's just say that if you have never been fishing for brown trout in the bath tub, don't try it. It's not that much fun.
• Lately Braden has developed a new sleeping habit. He wakes up most nights between 2 and 3. He doesn't fuss or cry much. He does make noise though when he tries to go back to sleep. From our room you can easily herar mmmmm....MMMMMM....mmmmmmmmmm....MMM. I keep waiting for Rain Man to show up and start imitating him and saying I heard noises.
• Let's close with a random pic.

Random Thoughts and a Happy New Year

It's Random Tuesday again. Christmas is almost here and I will be on a blog hiatus as I am sure many of you will as well.  I hate to leave you with something so scattered as this post, but in case I can't come up with something on Wednesday have a Merry Christmas.

• I tried out this nugget last week at Otin's blog. I feel lit is ready for a wider audience so here it is. When I was a kid we learned the planets using the phrase My Very Energetic Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas. Now that Pluto has been demoted what happens to our beloved learning tool? I say we change it to Just Served Us Nachos. You could use nectarines or nuts if you prefer a healthier alternative.
• My next post will be number 200. December 28th will be my one year anniversary of writing on this blog.  I am reaching blogging milestones. That seems odd to me.
• When you search Braden does most anything on YouTube you get hundreds of videos of various Braden's doing varying degrees of stupid things. If you search Braden eats the first two videos are our son Braden. I think that is an accurate depiction of what Braden finds important.
• I had someone find my blog by searching "does the dad stay with the mom otter". If you are still searching for the answer out there you little seeker of knowledge I want to tell you that this one certainly does. As for the furry ones, you need to call Jim Fowler.
• I spent an hour today trying to fix my site map at google. Does that tell you anything about how much work I am doing this holiday season?
• In fact we should just get it over with and close for the year. This pretending to have something important to do charade is just getting tiring.
• I think I am addicted to Wii bowling. I hope there is a cure that doesn't involve costly therapy.
• I put up a random picture last week for RTT and I think I will continue the trend today. This stuff is supposed to be random anyway. Every time Braden starts riding this train I start singing "Riding that train...." Then I stop. I need to find a replacement for that next line.

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Bob and Doug and Robert the Bruce

Today is another Random Thursday.  Click on the button to see all the other randomness out there.  But please read my thoughts first. I have nothing to offer like seemingly ever other blog out there. Please just read out of the goodness of your heart. It is the Christmas season after all.

• I have seen a few posts talking about favorite Christmas songs. It tempted me to find my two favorites because I haven't heard them on the radio in a couple years. Then I was tempted to share with you so here they are.

•  I wish something as simple as a balloon could make me as happy as it does Braden.
• I find it funny that during the beginning of last weeks world climate conference that half of the US was covered in snow, and it was in the twenties here in Arkansas.
• Braden hasn't slept well lately because of the joys of teething again. Obviously Arica and I haven't slept well either. Being an engineer I have almost finished my design to install an IV drip from the coffee pot to my office.  Next time I will be ready.
• We took Braden to see Santa again last weekend. The first trip he cried. This time he sat there and got his picture made although he looked less than pleased.
• Random Scotland Pic. This is me hanging out with Robert the Bruce. Yes I forgave him for turning on William Wallace. I think you should too.

Random Tuesday Thoughts

Today is another Random Tuesday. I hope I can cobble together enough thoughts to make an entire post. Click on the button below to go see Keely and the other randomness.

 

• I am now a twit. That is what I am calling myself for joining Twitter. I don't know why I did it, but I felt it was part of my duty as a blogger. Click here to come find me over there with the blue bird and become a follower. You can also find the link in the sidebar to the left.
• I took last week off from work. Added together with Thanksgiving that gave me 11 straight days off. Needless to say I am not enjoying this week.
• Braden has been doing so many things lately that I can't keep up with the posts. Come back this week to get more news on the first haircut and other Braden stories.
• I went back and read some of my other random thoughts posts yesterday. I used to be funny. I have no idea what happened.
• I recently mentioned that I was nominated for the board of directors at church. Actually it is called the Governing board, and I am now an officially elected board member. One of the old board members offered his congratulations and said "may God grant you patience." Oh crap. Patience is not my strong suit.
• I played Tiger Woods golf (insert joke here) on the computer with actual golf clubs, balls, a net, and some sort of swing reader this weekend. I love the net. I can knock the crap out of the ball and never know how bad I slice. Good times.
• We took Braden to the Christmas parade last night. I haven't ever been to the parade in our home town.  I had fun. This is just another example of how Braden has made life more fun.

Random Tuesday Thoughts

It is the Random Tuesday before Thanksgiving. I think this should be a special random Tuesday. We have to purge our system properly before the big eating festival on the horizon. Stop over and see Keely for more randomness.

• My lawyer friend emailed me last week and told me that one of his client's just told him that he felt like he was in a catch-69. There are just no words to express my feelings about that.
• I learned about a contest at Parenting Magazine from Katherine at Another Day, Another Moment. Stop by and meet her and her son Ethan if you haven't already. I told Arica about this contest, and she entered a picture of Braden. Check it out here, and vote if you like. We are not trying to force Braden into child modeling to support our three pack a day Oreo habit. We are just having fun, and trying to dominate the other children.
• I have just been nominated to be on our church's board of directors. I am not sure if I am more scared for the church or society in general. You people know me. This can't end well, right?
• I am signing up to take the Professional Engineering exam in the state of Arkansas in the spring. It will take a lot of hard work and studying to pass. But if I do pass then I will fulfill a lifelong dream of mine and be able to put a couple initials after my name. I would then be Otter Thomas, P.E.
• I really wanted to have another wonderfully random bullet point, but I have nothing. Happy Random Tuesday and Happy Thanksgiving.

Random Tuesday Thoughts

I am trying to get back to a regular blogging schedule. Doing that means returning to one of my all time favorite formats, the random thoughts post. So buckle up and enjoy the random musings of the man who spends his days cyphering on how to turn poo into energy and his nights consistently getting outsmarted by an 11 month old.

People walk up and down a street near our house all the time. There is no sidewalk, but the foot traffic is pretty heavy. The reason for all the walking is, of course, to get to Wal-Mart. Every day when I pass these people they stop walking and move over off the road. Moving over is obviously a great idea, but why do they stop and stare at me? I will never understand this behavior. I think it is safer to keep walking because we all know it is harder to hit a moving target.

Why must we say I write well, he plays well, or she sings well. Why can't we replace well with good. Why is good an adjective and well an adverb? To me using well sounds uppity and snobbish. Can't we get this rule changed? Who are the adverb police? Who do I need to call? Mr. Webster? King James? Tiger Woods?

I put one of our refrigerator magnet letters on the dish washer the other day. When Braden passed by yesterday and saw it, he put it back on the refrigerator. Now if I could only hone this ability to be used for putting up his toys.

Every day at lunch I feed the dogs. As soon as Braden hears me getting the dog food he races for the sliding glass doors. He likes to watch me go out with the dogs. It is a silly little thing, but it has become a fun ritual for father and son. I think it is cool that he can recognize what is going on too.

I will be returning to Scotland next week. With any luck this will be my last overseas business trip ever. I hope so.

I went deer hunting last weekend and killed nothing. I saw a doe, a deer, a female deer. Actually I saw several, but I chose not to shoot them in search of the illusive buck deer. I think there is a lesson in there about birds in a bush or something.

Arica stayed overnight at deer camp with me on Friday night. This was the first time she has ever done this (and probably the last). She slept in the freezing cold camper because our heater went out. She slept using other people's blankets because I forgot to bring blankets of our own. She slept on a bed too small for us both. Actually I don't think she slept at all. The point of this is to say thank you Arica for being such a good wife. Thanks for putting up with the atrocities of deer camp to spend some time with me.

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Braden

Today for Random Tuesday I thought I might just fill in a few little things about Braden. He has developed so many new habits that I haven't been able to keep up in proper blog form so today I will lay them out there randomly.

• While I have been away Arica has somehow coached the little man into going to bed between 8:30 and 9 pm. He sleeps through the night too. This is a huge step in mine and Arica's life. It frees up more time for us than the DVR.
• Braden has now walked on many occasions. He is very good at it, but for some reason he still prefers to crawl. I guess crawling is still easier and faster.
• Braden loves all food. The kid eats everything you put in front of him. He loves green beans, carrots, peas, applesauce, yogurt, bananas, spaghettios, cheerios, mac and cheese, bread, pancakes, and everything else he can get in his mouth. He is just like his old man.
• Braden has started clapping a lot lately. It is so funny to watch a baby clap and to see the joy on their face as they try out this new skill.
• Lately Braden has found a new game. There is a corner in the living room that we don't let him into. It has our modem and some other wires. He has started crawling in there and climbing the mountain of blankets stacked by the couch. As I go to get him he crawls faster and laughs the whole way. It is a game to him. A game that is going to necessitate the moving of our furniture.
• Yesterday we took Braden to the park. He got to swing for the first time. I think he liked it based on the sly grin he had the whole time.
• Random Braden picture:
  
  

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Pizza

I haven't done a Random Tuesday Thoughts post in a while, and shame on me. I love the random format. The problem has been that my life has been so randomly scattered from here to yonder that I haven't been able to capture any of my thoughts. Here is my effort to regain form.

• I think the greatest tribute a man could ever receive is having a type of pizza named after him worldwide.
• I haven't smoked in about 7 years, but I did once smoke. I always thought menthols tasted like smoking a Christmas tree.
• I saw a couple at Wal-Mart that had a 30 pack of beer and a basketball in their shopping cart and nothing else. I think it is obvious they were going to get drunk and work on their free throw shooting.
• I don't think there is any better way on earth to stick it to the man than spending company money on beer.
• Arica and I went to a karaoke night recently. All you hear at those things is wannabe singing stars. Haven't these people heard of American Idol? Go see Simon and give karaoke night back to the drunks.
• Arica and I saw a show in Branson recently that featured the Blues Brothers. Seeing a pretend John Belushi talk about how his good friend Ray Charles had passed away was just odd.
• Arica and I were at a drive thru where the person in front of us was taking forever. She said people ordering that much should have to go inside. I agreed and added that I wouldn't expect a guy with a bike attached to his car to be too lazy to go in to order.

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Haggis

It is Tuesday. These thoughts are random.

• I had haggis last week during my visit to Scotland. It came via the dish Chicken Balmoral, which is a chicken breast stuffed with haggis and covered with a pepper sauce. It was honestly the best dish I have eaten in Scotland. The haggis was very peppery and of course had the rich taste you might expect from sheep innards.
• I had haggis again on Sunday night. This time it was a haggis croquette. This is a nice Scottish/French way of saying fried sheep guts. I am telling you haggis is awesome! I love it!
• Good food in Scotland is either described as nice, quite nice, or lovely. Food is not good or tasty. So in the Scottish tradition the haggis was lovely.
• I went to Stirling Castle during my visit. For those of you who don't know this castle overlooks the fields where the Scottish fought the English for centuries. From there you can see the location of the Battle of Stirling Bridge where William Wallace famously defeated the British. Also in sight of the castle is Bannockburn where Robert the Bruce defeated the English and became Scotland's king. Amazingly historical place. I was honestly so in awe that I forgot to recite my Braveheart line again.
• I have developed a new term. Instead of using the weather term partly cloudy we shall now use Scottish Sunny. It sounds better.
• A guy at work the other day asked me if I had any pails. With his accent I thought he said pills. I said hey buddy what kind of guy do you think I am. I don't share my pills with anybody.
• Every single bathroom I have seen in Scotland has the hand blower rather than paper towels. Apparently paper towels are the devil to the Scottish people. I do however like the blower that has the flip spout that can shift from hands to face with a simple push of the finger. With this model you never need to worry about packing a hair dryer.
• The hotel I am staying at doubles as a country club. It is no doubt the only country club in Scotland without a golf course, but it still has amenities. The grounds have an indoor pool, hot tub, gym, squash courts, and other perks. I eat every night in the lounge/bar area. I have seen and actually met a certain guy that regularly works out then comes to the bar for a few beers. I saw him recently after his spin class drinking. I think I will start calling this a Scottish workout.
• This last item really needs no description. I took this picture in the parking lot of Stirling Castle. The southern influence obviously carries a long way. Today I am a proud man.

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Scotland

This was once a new dad blog. I am away from home now so I can't say much about my job as a father. Rather than go on without blogging I thought I would post a few random thoughts about my first few days in Scotland.

• I visited my first castle Sunday in Scotland. It was the Dumbarton Castle which is the place where William Wallace was lured and then captured before being killed. Needless to say I had to fight pretty hard not to rehearse my freedom line. I only said it to myself in my head.
• I had steak pie for dinner. I was disappointed to find that it contained no steak and no pie. It was actually what I would call a roast. Even with the misleading name it was quite good.
• Talking to Arica and Braden on Skype is more enjoyable than anything Scotland has to offer. It makes a huge difference being able to see them. On our first talk Braden laughed and smiled at me on the computer. Then he tried to attack the keys and he had to take a break so he didn't destroy Arica's laptop.
• Every Scotsman first asks how you like their lovely weather when you meet them. Apparently they have a complex about this. I told one Monday that we had really nice weather the day before. He replied, "That was summer. I hope you enjoyed it."
• Jetlag is not my friend.
• Scotland is the home of golf. Having now been to Scotland and seen the weather I think that makes about as much sense as Minnesota being the home of pineapples. Yet it is true.
• The bosses on sight wear very nice suits, then they tuck their suit pants into brown rubber boots. It kind of defeats the purpose. They may as well be wearing clown suits.

Random Tuesday Thoughts: American Express

Another random Tuesday is upon us. Very few interesting thoughts are floating around my head right now, but I will do my best.

• What is the correct procedure for putting utensils in the dish washer? Do the business ends go up or down?
• American Express rejected one of my business purchases this week. They did so after calling to get my approval of the purchase twice and receiving my signature to OK the sales order. Afterward I thought maybe I should send them the card back since obviously I am not smart enough to decide what I can and can't buy.
• Braden thinks he can stand up on his own. He pulls up on different things and once standing lets go. Then predictably he falls on his butt or his head.
• Next time your husband or wife asks you to go to the store and get some milk look at them seriously and say, "Cow's Milk?"
• A lot of people seemed disgusted that I wanted to try haggis. I don't understand why anyone wouldn't want to eat this delicacy. You know haggis is ground up sheep innards, right?
• Having a crawling baby is a good way to gauge the dirtiness of your floors.
• Where do you think I can get some of those money bags with the dollar signs on the side of them?
• We have had at least some rain each day for the last three days. My grass has turned from brown to green. Now I have to mow again.
• I built a pillow fort last night and Braden spent most of the night trying to climb it. We had lots of fun. He is a miniature Sir Edmund Hilary.
• I am taking vacation for a week before I go to Scotland. Tomorrow is my last day of work for a while. Yahoo!

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Sir, Yes Sir!

Grab your favorite adult beverage and salty snack. Place your rear end in a comfy chair. It's time again for Random Tuesday Thoughts.

• I got the business card and personal cell phone number of a retired 4-star general last week. Don't mess with me.
• While he was at the office I noticed I said "sir" a lot. As far as I know I did not answer any questions with "sir, yes sir!"
• I knew a guy in college that could recite the license plate of everyone he knew. It was a bit disturbing. He was like the license plate rain man.
• Speaking of license plates, does anyone else notice every plate with the same letter combos as their own? Arica's last car had LSD for the letters. As an extremely mature adult I found that very funny. Now I am spotting LSD plates all over the state.
• At the lake this weekend Arica and I found the perfect cove for relaxing. That was until we were joined by the idiot triplets riding laps around us on their Sea Doo's. I gave serious consideration to swimming out there and strangling them. Instead I did my best Rodney Dangerfield from Caddyshack. "What is this? Hell's Angels?"
• The coffee pot at work broke Monday. As far as I can tell the order of importance in the office is electricity then coffee pot. The only reason electricity is number one is because the coffee pot won't work without it.
• I got a new laptop at work yesterday. After about six years it is the equivalent of upgrading from a Volkswagon Rabbit to a Ferrari.
• The good thing about computer upgrades is you can get a new Ferrari for the same price you paid for the Rabbit.
• The bad thing is the Ferrari unceremoniously morphs into a Chevy Nova in a few short years.
• The upgrade is causing me plenty of headaches. My old computer is so crappy that it crashes every time I try to transfer all my files. I guess I am going to transfer them via the USB flash drive. I have to go now and start the transfer because it will take me all day.

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Fireworks

It is time once again for a journey through the random. I have no clever intro so lets get straight to bullet point number one.

• We spent July 4th at the lake with friends. It was a great time even though it was cloudy all day. It rained a little too. There was no lightning so it was still safe. Why does everyone run for cover when it rains at the lake? Are they afraid of getting wet?
• People's fascination with fireworks is amazing. We watched them twice this weekend. I enjoyed them, but it never ceases to amaze me how many people come out to see the show. The one show in town has thousands of people inside the our horse racing stadium. Outside every parking lot and street is lined with cars. This just in, Americans like fireworks.
• While we were watching fireworks we noticed a dog tied to the bumper of the car in front of us. Arica and I watched that dog like a couple hawks. We didn't want to have a replay of what Clark W. Griswold did to Dinky.
• After the fireworks show a local cop came into the parking lot we were in and announced over his loud speaker that the show was over and everyone needed to go home. I guess he was worried about some family related mini van violence. Or maybe he was worried about that 6 year old street gang that has been tearing up the town.
• Braden has been testing the structural integrity of our home with his head. I hope he gets over that habit soon.
• Cold pizza on the lake is one of life's truly great pleasures.
• Hearing a familiar song on a movie or TV show can change how you listen to that song forever. The king of this phenomenon is definitely "Don't Fear the Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult. Every time I hear that song I picture a shaggy, bearded Will Ferrell rocking the cow bell with his gut hanging out of a skin tight shirt. It cracks me up every time.
• We have a retired 4-star general coming to our office today for a business meeting. I am a bit nervous. I hope he doesn't expect any push ups.
• You haven't seen a look of disdain until you show up at a metal fabrication shop in front of all the hourly workers on a daily basis wearing shorts and flip flops.
• Now a random Braden picture.

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Long Wait

I have been working on these random thoughts for two weeks. You would think that they should be really good, but they are not. The thoughts aren't that plentiful either. I haven't been putting that much time or thought into them. They only lasted because I had to go out of town last week and didn't have time to post them. So here are this week's random thoughts after a long wait in the hopper.

• I was writing an outline at work trying to keep up with all the tasks I had to complete. I wrote down a, b, 3. I am losing my mind.
• I just saw a study on the Internet that says NY drivers have been found the angriest, most aggressive drivers in the US. Way to put our money to good use. I have been doing some studies myself. I found that the sky is blue. Alaska is cold. Frenchmen are rude. And the government wastes my money on funding stupid studies.
• Arica and I went to see our local minor league baseball team play last week. We had a great time. The only drawback was the fact that we apparently were placed in the kiddie section. We were at the end of a row that had about 10 kids. They crawled over us every single inning. I wanted to punt them down onto the field.
• If I were a snake I would pray every night that I went to Louisiana when I died. That place is snake heaven.
• Right now Cajun food ranks right up there with Italian food, and a big juicy steak as my all time favorite.
• Arica watches "So You Think You Can Dance." That Mary chick has big teeth and screams way too much. It just needed to be said.
• Lately I have noticed in my posts that I have used a lot of numbered lists. Apparently my inner engineering nerd is trying to get out and kill my inner blogging nerd. It should be a fun fight.
• We went to the lake on Sunday and the water was hot. There is nothing like going to the lake for a refreshing dip and jumping into water that feels like a hot bath.
• Random thoughts are a great way for the bad blogger to get a post up with minimum use of his time and his brain.

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Student Driver

Time for another edition of randomness. So far I have been calling this Random Thoughts Tuesday. Apparently it is supposed to be Random Tuesday Thoughts. Maybe my first random thought this week should be to wonder when I became dyslexic.

• Recently I saw a student driver driving down the road at the normal five mph below the speed limit. Right behind the student driver was an angry tailgater. No doubt the poor pimpled kid was sweating bullets with hands firmly at two and ten. I wanted to congratulate the angry driver for giving that student the real life driving lesson that people are crazy.


• The air conditioner in my truck has not worked since November 2007. I toughed out an entire summer in that sweat box. Over the weekend the heat index climbed into the mid 90's here in Arkansas. I am giving up. I went to the mechanic today. The hatred of sweating while riding in the car has finally won out over cheapness. Way to go cheapness you gave it a good run.


• If your children ever come home and say I want to be an engineer when I grow up discourage them. If they seem determined then try to steer them towards driving trains. Trust me.


• We played softball in our church league against a group of "ringers" last Friday. These people were supposed to be from our church, but only one of them actually attends. How desperate for approval do you need to be in order to recruit a great softball team to win the co-ed church league.


• I wish I was the kind of guy who always carried a pocket knife. It would be tough for travelling, but otherwise quite handy.


• We are currently rewatching season 1 of the Sopranos. We do things like this to fill in for lack of quality programming in the summer. I really believe that show was the greatest drama ever. We miss you Tony.


• I went outside yesterday to find a four foot black snake on the driveway just outside my garage. I got my shovel, creeped up behind the vile creature, took aim, swung the shovel...and missed. The snake headed for my garage. I swung again and missed. This time I had swung so hard that I chipped the concrete. At this point I took aim for any part of the snake rather than the head just to stop its progress into my garage. I hit it in the back and it started coming for me. Then in one swift move I brought down the shovel and ended the serpent's reign of terror once and for all. I hit is so hard that I have a pool of blood on the driveway. I hope it stains because telling people that is a snake blood stain sounds really cool.


• I figured if random thoughts were fun then a random picture of Braden would be even better.