Potty Training with Big Boy Underwear

This weekend we got hard core with the potty training. We enacted the big boy underwear plan. This plan is very simple. Braden wears tiny little underwear with Cars designs. Arica and I take him to the bathroom every thirty minutes in the hope of avoiding accidents while at the same time drilling him on the fun of using the toilet. Repetition. Repetition. Repetition.

I think the weekend went well. On Saturday we had three accidents. On Sunday we had none. And this morning before I left for work Arica got Braden to poop in the toilet. Braden demanded that his Mom leave the room to give him privacy. Apparently that was all he needed. While she waited in the wings Braden went to the bathroom on his own. Big win.

Saturday we nearly avoided all three accidents. Braden told me he had to pee pee the first time. Even though he released the flow before he told me, we did manage to get some in the toilet. The other two accidents involved the big number two. We almost made it to the toilet the first time. I just caught him to late. We ran as fast as we could, but, alas, the deed was already done.

Later in the day just before Braden's 30 minute appointment at the porcelain throne, I had to use the bathroom. When I was done I went to get Braden. I set him on the toilet unaware of what he had been doing while I was in the bathroom.

That's when my ever inquisitive son pointed to the floor and said, "Daddy, what's that?"

To which I answered, "That's your poop."

Such are the adventures in potty training. Even with the excitement of floor poop, I have to say that it went a lot better than I expected. So off we go to the first full week of Lightning McQueen underwear. Wish us luck.

The Potty Training Race Against Time

One of the many challenges of raising twins will be continuing to raise Braden. We will have to be sure that we make time to spend with him. It seems almost cruel that he will go from the focal point of our world for nearly 3 years to a mere third child all at once.

Arica and I have already talked about how we must make it a priority to continue spending time with Braden. We will have to take special Braden only outings so that he can receive our full attention. I need to start practicing that today on this blog as well.

With all the excitement that has turned our world upside down in the past week I have neglected to share some of Braden's accomplishments. Specifically I haven't told any tales about beginning the potty training adventure.

While Braden is at home with Arica these days we have been keeping him in pull ups. Arica will ask him many times a day if he needs to use the bathroom. He will pee almost every time you take him. That is a good thing. He gets excited about the process. Most of his excitement comes from the awarding of M&Ms, but that is exactly why he gets them.

Braden sometimes will even tell Arica or myself that he needs to use the bathroom. Braden will tell you by saying, "Mama. I pee pee." To me that is a huge deal. The fact that once in a while he knows he needs to go to the bathroom is a big success.

We experienced another success when earlier this week Braden told his Mom, "Mama. I poop." Arica took him to the bathroom and Braden did his business. It was his first poop in the toilet. I didn't expect that for months. We were all VERY excited. Pooping in the toilet is a big step in the right direction.

I am aware that it will be a slow process, but we have extra motivation now. The thought of having 3 kids in diapers at the same time is enough to make any parent potty train with the intensity of an Israeli security force. Two new babies will push the first kid right on out of babyhood, whether we are ready for that or not.
 
I once said I wanted to replace boxes of diapers with boxes of beer. Well now I just want to replace them with boxes of smaller diapers. Things change.

Does Being a Dad Make Me Different?

Hank Jr. once sang about how corn bread and iced tea took the place of pills and 90 proof. That type of drastic change was not necessary for me. Then again I was never a famous country music singer. You can also find plenty of blog posts about how becoming a Dad had the same effect on many guys. Those posts are full of comments like "I used to be up until 6 am Saturday morning chasing babes. Now I get up at 6 am on Saturday morning to change a babe's diaper."

Those are all fine and good but this will not be that kind of post. Settling down for me was more a function of finding the right woman and getting married than becoming a father. This post will be more of a philosophical look at whether I am a different person now that I have a child. After all if you can't get philosophical with a bunch of people you have never met then what good is this Internet thing anyway.

Upon thinking about this subject I decided looking at my interests would be a good place to start. I still love watching Cardinals baseball, Razorback Football, and Razorback Basketball. No change there. I still think that stupid movies like Caddyshack, The Jerk, Anchorman, and Blazing Saddles are hilarious. Obviously there is no growth in that area. What about non TV hobbies. Fishing and Hunting are still my favorites. So far I seem like the same guy.

While I still enjoy the same things I certainly spend my time differently now. I spend less time doing all the above things. I spend more time taking care of Braden via the arts of diaper changing, feeding, entertaining, and fighting him to sleep. Some people might say I have changed because now I am more responsible. That is not entirely true. Yes, I have more responsibilities now for sure, but I was always responsible. I made good grades, got a college scholarship and kept it until graduation. Then I got a job. I have kept my job, bought a house, paid all my bills, and fulfilled all other obligations. I think my actions are different now because my circumstances have changed, not because I have changed.

Something happened in my mind this week that brought up this whole thought process. I was holding Braden when he started making the "poop face". Some pooping noises and a pungent odor followed. I assumed he had done the deed. I went to change him and found that I was mistaken. We went back to playing in the living room. Braden continued to try and expel the foulness that was plaguing him. He was working very hard. I felt bad for him. More sounds and smells followed. I checked and he had broken free a small nugget. I decided to wait a few minutes and let him finish his grunting and groaning. When I went to change his nugget filled diaper I got a surprise. The dam had broken. The diaper was full. Instead of being totally revolted by this colorful, stinking, disaster in my son's diaper I found a great example for children everywhere. There is definitely a moral to this story.

If at first you don't succeed. Try. Try again.

I can go on and on about how I am the same person, but my thoughts seem to show that there has at least been a little brain damage.

Baby Poop Face

Everyone reading this that has children knows the face. The face that signals impending doom for a innocent pampers diaper. It is the poop face. Braden's poop face is hilarious. I know it's probably not the most fun thing for him but I just can't help but laugh. His face turns red as a fire truck and he offers up some very determined grunts. He will grunt 2 or 3 times usually until he reaches his goal. That goal of course is a stinking dirty diaper for me to change. Last night I was holding Braden when he started going to work and I could not help but think of this scene from Austin Powers.






Of course in this scene I would be Tom Arnold cheering on my son as he poops his pants. Next time he starts making the face I might just say, "That's right buddy you show that turd whose boss," or "Hey partner you gotta relax. Don't force it. You're gonna blow out your o-ring...drop a lung." Actually it would work just as well if I screamed "Who does number two work for!" No matter what role I play it will be a proud family moment. Braden is grunting and turning red while I am quoting Austin Powers. I have to make sure Arica is there because she will be so proud. I wish someone would have told me at an earlier age that TV will rot your brain. Now it's too late.

Diaper Fear

Men are a tough and fearless bunch. We take great pride in being unmovable rocks. Men will climb the highest mountain braving the elements, dodging bears and snakes just to get a shot at a big buck. Some even climb the highest mountain just to say they did. We refuse to ever cry or even care about the sob stories we see on TV or hear from our wives. We are unmovable. When I was a kid my dad raised ducks. He used to reach into the wood duck boxes without a care in the world. I saw him pullout a snake and a screech owl with his bare hand and he just went on to the next box. This is the kind of thing that we do. All men grow up wanting to be tough like their Dad or John Wayne or Clint Eastwood. We are taught that showing fear is not an option and will get you evicted from the man club. However, there is one thing that strikes fear into the heart of every man across the globe......The Dirty Diaper!

When our son was born I obviously had no experience with the dirty diaper. I am sure that some men get experience from younger family members but not me. Actually if you see a man that has experience with a dirty diaper before he has his own child be wary. I am sure there are circumstances that could lead to such a situation but it just seems abnormal. I completely avoided the dirty diaper for about a week. I tried not to change any diapers to make sure that I didn't get a surprise. If you have never had a child I am here to tell you that the first few weeks are a highly stressful situation. There are people around all the time. The baby needs something every minute and you have to deal with this all on no sleep. Needless to say avoiding diaper changes led to a slight altercation with my wife so I promised to join in.

I changed some wet diapers and thought that was easy enough. It will help you get used to putting a diaper on a wiggling, crying, uncooperative person. It also allows you to get comfortable with your involvement in the genital region. I have a boy so I am OK. I would imagine that with a little girl this can be even more unnerving at first. Now I am feeling more comfortable and one early morning when I am alone with the boy he drops one on me. The first one was pretty small. There was no major smearing of poo up the legs or all over the bottom. This is a good thing. From there I just went on changing diapers dealing with the dirty ones as they came.

Eventually you will get one that is full and smeared everywhere. While you are trying to clean all the poo off of his entire body you will invariably get some on your hand. It will not be a pleasant experience. This yellow substance smells awful. It is like some foreign matter that only exists in a babies diaper and you certainly don't want it on your hand. As terrible as it seems I think when it happens you turn a corner. I thought to myself that the worst has happened. My son has pooped on me and I am going to live. After that dirty diapers become a part of your world just like baseball or a cold beer.

I am aware that the older generation of tough guys does not do dirty diapers. I am also aware that some of you have wives that will let you avoid the dirty diaper as well. To you I say congratulations. For those of you that are approaching this for the first time I suggest you help with the dirty diapers unless you want to wake up one night to see your wife leaning over you with a meat cleaver and a psychotic smile. It is not too bad and it goes along way towards peace in the home. Personally I find it hilarious that I was ever scared at all because now I am exponentially more afraid of snakes, bears, and Whoopi Goldberg than I am a dirty diaper..