Birthday Week Is Over

I have to post about Braden's Birthday one last time this year. We had two parties and the second one has not received its own post yet.The main purpose of this blog is to record our experiences because our memories are sure to fail some day. I don't want to forget Braden's second second birthday party so I am wrapping up Birthday Week with a post about it now.

If you would rather have the reflective birthday post click HERE. If you missed Braden's Mickey Mouse party then try HERE. After catching up with all our celebrations read on to see about the Cars party.

Braden's party was on the day after his birthday. On his actual birthday Arica and I took him to our favorite Mexican restaurant for the sombrero and song treatment. The only guy that can play the guitar was taking a siesta so we had to settle for the sombrero only. And of course the adults ate good Mexican food while Braden explored the area immediately surrounding our back corner table.


Then we went to Chik-fil-a to play at the play ground. Braden likes the slide.

He went down in every conceivable position including heat first with two other kids in tow.

At the party Saturday Braden was impatient. We opened presents first. Here he is in his first car.

He blew out his candle by himself again. At the rate of 2 parties a year he is already a pro.

Of course he did his normal icing taste test.

After all the partying and present opening he looked like this.

It was a happy birthday indeed.

Happy Birthday Braden

Before you came along my favorite male companion was a dog.
Before you came along my favorite late night snack was beer.
Before you came along I didn't watch cartoons.
Before you came along I hadn't played with hot wheels in decades.
Before you came along I didn't ever sit in the floor.
Before you came along I didn't read aloud.
Before you came along I didn't change diapers or give baths.
Before you came along I always slept through the night.
Before you came along I had never been to a pumpkin patch.
Before you came along our house was generally quiet.
Before you came along I had never folded tiny clothes.
Before you came along I had never fed another person.
Before you came along I had a pool table.

Now I am in the floor every night in the area where a pool table once stood playing with cars and putting together puzzles. I read. I watch cartoons. I eat cereal. Our house is loud all the time and toys are scattered across the floor. I am now educated on many things about raising a baby and I am almost always tired.

For people without kids that last paragraph probably reads like a Stephen King novel. For those of you with children it sounds all too familiar. I guess that is one of the biggest changes brought on by parenthood, the change in perception.

In two years with Braden I have learned that my perception of what my life with children would be like was about as accurate as the once strongly held belief that the Earth was flat. I had this misconstrued idea that Braden's life would fit nicely inside the molds that had been formed by my experiences and Arica's experiences.

Well parenting has taught me that the exact opposite is true. As parents our lives will be lived inside of the boundaries formed by Braden's experiences. It has already started to happen. You can see that by reading the list above. I am eating Honey Combs. I have learned the names of every character on Cars from Mater to Snot Rod. I am reading Dr. Seuss and singing along with Mickey Mouse. I am living in Braden's world.

I wrote a post not long ago that got some attention over at Reddit  titled You Haven't Lived. A couple commenters thought it was a bit insensitive for me to insinuate that people without children haven't lived a full life. Of course that was not my intention. I am certainly not conceited enough to think that I know what is the fullest way for other people to live their lives. Everyone has their own journey.

I should have said "I haven't lived" because that is the absolute truth. I had been to France, Italy, Hungary, Germany, Costa Rica, Malaysia, and Thailand. I had been to Fenway, Wrigley Field, and the old Yankee Stadium. I followed the Hogs to three bowl games, an SEC championship game, and both the SEC and SWC basketball tournaments. I had been to the beach on four continents. I partied for the better part of a decade. I had even conned the most beautiful girl in the world into marrying me. Anyone that has been around a while can plainly see that was my greatest achievement.

Yet, despite all that, I hadn't truly lived until Braden was born. I know Arica feels the same way. So, Braden, thanks for letting us live in your little world. It is an honor to be your parents.

Happy 2nd Birthday Braden! We love you!

Birthday Week

Birthday week is upon us, and it feels a lot like what I imagine Super Bowl week feels like for the teams involved. There are many preparations to be made. We have to game plan and make sure we are ready. The only difference is at the end of Birthday week we are guaranteed a party. We don't have to fight for the right to party like the Beastie Boys or the two Super Bowl combatants.

Birthday week kicked off in full on Sunday with a party at my Mom and Dad's house. Braden got to celebrate his birthday early so all the family in that area which is 2.5 hours away could celebrate with him. It helps them celebrate more easily, and it also gives Braden the opportunity to have 2 parties. He deserves it.

So with Braden's 2nd birthday approaching on Friday we have already celebrated once. Look at all the fun we had and you will see why we are so excited to do it again this weekend.

The first party was a Hot Dog party. That's Mickey Mouse if you didn't know. Braden's friend Big Hot Dog even showed up.

Braden blew out all his candles by himself.

Then he fell into the cake.

Here's proof on his shirt.

And here's more proof.

Braden loves cake no matter if it is smashed or not.

Then we opened some presents.

And more presents. 

Finally we closed out the day with candy and a few smiles.



33

A number can mean so many things

First Larry Bird

Then Scottie Pippen

Later it's the amount of money I need for beer and cigarettes on Friday night

Then it is the number of minutes I stressed out about calling Arica for the first time

Maybe it's the number of sweat beads on my forehead as she walks down the aisle

Now it could be the number of times an hour Braden makes my heart leap with joy

Or the number of toy cars he has strewn across the floor

It's the exact number of days until the start of Muzzleload season

But today it also means something else

They say that age is just a number

Today my number is 33

Happy Birthday Arica

Any married person can tell you that a marriage is a series of ups and downs. It takes continued work on both people's part to make any marriage successful.  If you are truly blessed then you can grow as a person as a result of these challenges. To make that possible you need a special husband or wife.

I am lucky enough to have that type of wife. She is definitely a giver and not a taker. In everything she does she is giving to our family. Even in what seem like the most difficult of times she is giving to us all.  She has given me strength. She has given me courage. And as an old friend once remarked before we were even married, she has softened my heart. You can't do any better than finding someone who enriches your life in such a way.

I can seriously say that Arica has been more influential in my life than anyone I have ever known. That is crazy considering when we met I was pretty well stuck in my ways for better or worse. She proves it is possible to teach an old dog new tricks. I could never thank her enough for opening my eyes so that I can see the world and its people in a much more wonderful way.

Because I have found someone so special to me today is more important than I can express. Today I celebrate the day Arica entered the world.  This day a few years back made everything that is my life today possible. So on this happy April 27th I am not celebrating just another year added to Arica's age. I am not celebrating the passage of one more year on her life's journey.

I am celebrating the day that made all the joy and happiness in my life possible. What a truly great day this is.

Happy Birthday Arica! I love you!

Birthday Party Madness

There are so many different angles that I could take in posting about Braden's birthday party this past weekend. First I will start it off with a video and picture of Braden tearing into his cake.

Next I want to take a little time to write about how much work it was to put on a party. My always ambitious wife put on a great party. As a result she was busier than that proverbial one legged man. Arica spent Saturday cooking. Then she went up to the church late Saturday night to set up as much as she could. It started all again on Sunday morning. She was there ready to pounce with the remainder of decorations as soon as Sunday school was over. She spent the final few hours finishing the food preparations. The spread at this party was one of the best I have ever tasted and I have tried them all. Thanks so much Arica for putting on an amazing party. You are the best.

I could follow with the angle about how annoying other peoples kids can be. They ran around screaming and yelling. They get in the birthday boys face and try to be the center of attention at all times. They can drive you crazy.

Another topic could be how the ability to use tools separates us from the animals. I probably lost you on that one. Well look at my ingenious son in the video below improvising by using his candle to eat his cake. He gets an A+ in the field of creative destruction.

Instead I think I will take the remainder of this space to write about how amazing it feels to see all the love flow from so many other people for your child. Yes much of it is because they love the parents, but they wouldn't all show up for our birthday party.

We were overwhelmed with the generosity of all our family and friends. People gave until it hurt as the old saying goes. As a result Braden is now prancing through a playground dream right in his own home. It is impossible to walk through our house without twisting an ankle on a randomly located toy. You might also take an inadvertent ride on tiny truck placed just perfectly to take you down. Our home looks like Santa's workshop exploded.

All this gives both Arica and I a special feeling. I know Braden won't remember his party. He didn't even know a lot of the people there. Nonetheless I know that our work paid off by giving Braden a special day. The look on his face as he happily plowed through his personal birthday cake was priceless. That joy will go on in his life for some time. Every time he plays with some of his new toys it will take flight again.

Throwing a party for Braden was a wonderful thing. It was a wonderful day that Arica and I didn't want to end. We laid in bed well past our normal bedtime laughing and talking about the day. There is nothing like a party and a little love from your friends and family to make everything seem right with the world.

Dear Braden, Happy Birthday

Dear Braden,

When we first met one year ago today you were gasping for breath and trying to warm your body in a freezing hospital room. You were wide eyed with fear and amazement at this strange new world that had just opened up to you.

So was I.

As a matter of fact I was so wide eyed that I nearly had the first fainting spell of my 31 years of life. Luckily there were plenty of nurses present to advise me to sit down. So this is how our first year began. Both of us were scared to death, but only one of us had to sit down for a breather.

To a man without children parenting always seemed to be about what a parent had to give to their child. Parents give their time including free time, personal time, break time, and all other measures of time. Parents give away their sleep. They give away their personal life, wants, needs, and even their money. Parents give food, clothing, and toys. Parents even have to change diapers.

Now that I am your Dad I can confidently say that what you have given me in the first year of your life far exceeds anything and everything that I could ever give to you.

First of all you have given me joy. I was overwhelmed with joy when you were born. You gave me the joy of your first smile. You gave me the joy of the first time you rolled over and when you started crawling. You gave me the joy of watching you pull up on the furniture and eventually walk. You gave me the pure joy of watching you smile or laugh on a daily basis. There is nothing like the joy that is found in a proud parent’s heart.

You have also given me love. First you gave me a new type of love in my heart. Having a child has taught me the human hearts true capacity for love. There is no other love like the one a parent feels for their child.

You have also given me your unconditional love. When you reach out for me or when you smile at me I feel that love. When you clutch at me or play with me I feel that love. You love me no matter what. You showed up and just started loving both me and your Mom. That is an amazing gift.

Finally you gave me the hope of a future spent with a loving family. I got married at a fairly late age for people in the rural south. I spent most of my youth chasing selfish misguided ambitions. I wasted many of my years alone. When you were added to my treasure chest that already included your mother my hope for a family was realized. The realization of that hope in turn gives birth to a bigger hope for all the joy, love, and dreams of a lifetime spent together.

Thank you Braden for changing my life forever. Thank you for your love. Thank you for your infectious spirit. Thank you for the fun we have together. If this year is any indication I am in for a lifetime of happiness that I could have never imagined one year ago.

Happy First Birthday!

Walk Like a Man

I got a birthday present that I didn’t expect on Sunday. It was a type of bittersweet present. It was bitter because I wasn’t there to see it. Still it was a sweet milestone achieved. On my birthday in the year of our Lord two thousand and nine Braden took his first steps.

According to Arica he took four or five steps. They had just got home and were bringing some bags into the house. All of a sudden Braden just took off walking for them. I think the only reason he stopped was that Mommy and Grandma’s screaming scared him half to death. If I was there I would be screaming too. Way to go little buddy.

Since then I have been thinking about how a baby’s mind comes to the decision it is time to try walking. This is a huge step for them. It must me petrifying. So what can we as adults compare to this in our lives? What have we ever done that took the same nerve that it would take to try walking for the first time?

The only thing I could think of from my life was the first time I tried to water ski. I was thinking this is great. I am great. Soon I will be super cool. All of a sudden reality strikes. I think wait a minute. I am holding on to this rope. The other end is tied to a super fast ski boat. I have these two wooden planks under my feet. What part of this is a good idea?

In TV land I have another comparison. TV land often times intersects with reality in my head. I find myself telling stories sometimes about things that happened in TV shows like I was there. That is a story for another time. Actually that is a story for my therapist. Back to how Braden walking relates to TV land. I think the decision he made to try, and the courage he must have mustered up inside his little baby gut compares to Frodo’s quest to destroy the ring. Little hairy footed Frodo had to travel to Mordor and cast the ring into the fires of Mount Doom. That even sounds intimidating. Along the way all sorts of evil things were after him. Yet he decided to do it for the good of Middle Earth. Frodo took on the perils for the better good. (Thank you for tolerating my inner Tolkien dork.)

I would think that in a babies mind walking probably seems about as perilous as Mount Doom, Sauron, and the Uruk-hai. Letting go for the first time and trying to balance yourself while moving forward is no small feat. However, since the beginning of time babies have always made that scary choice. So why do they do it? It must be the quest for freedom that drives them to take such chances.

They crawl. They walk. They drive. They go to college and so on.

Congrats Braden on reaching the second step on your journey to freedom.

A Less Than Happy Birthday

Today is my 32nd birthday. It is without question one of my worst two birthdays ever and probably the worst. The top two bad birthdays on my list were both spent alone in another country. This one is harder from that perspective because I have a wife and child. This is my first birthday as a father, and I won't get to spend it with Braden. Since I have been married Arica has been more excited about my birthdays than me. I will miss her a lot on this birthday as well.

The other bad birthday in case you were wondering was September 13, 2001. Yes I had a birthday 2 days after the darkest day in American history. On top of all the bad feelings permeating my world those days, I was also by myself in Bangkok, Thailand. Far from home was not where anyone wanted to be at that time. It was a time to be close to friends and loved ones. That birthday was terrible too, but at least I wasn't missing out on time with my wife and son. I hadn't met Arica yet, and before Arica there was certainly no Braden.

I found a picture in my archives that pretty much sums up my feelings on the matter. Too bad that picture was taken in the Virgin Islands, and I am currently in Scotland. On the plus side the sun shines in Scotland an unbelievable 27 days a year.

Happy Birthday

I wanted to write a quick post today just to say Happy Birthday to my wife Arica. She keeps our family running. Without her Braden and I would both be lost.

So today I took off from work in order to give her a break. I am forgoing engineering to be a stay at home dad. Of course my run as a stay at home Dad will be pursued with a safety net. Arica will be here should I falter or should I need a helping hand. I only hope she can get some much needed rest today and enjoy her birthday.

The day is off to a good start. Arica was able to sleep in which is a rarity for anyone in this house. Later I plan to bake her a cake. I love cooking, but I am no baker. This will be my first cake ever. Arica is the normal baker, but she can't bake her own birthday cake.

Today I will certainly be reminded how much she does for us every day by attempting to do it myself. So once again Happy Birthday Arica and thanks for everything you do.