Down on Blogging, Sickness, Confessions, and Alphabet Soup

I haven't posted this week because, to be frank, I am a little put off by the whole blogging experience right now.  It has started to feel more like a job than a fun hobby.  It will always frustrate me that I can't get more regular readers. I thank the handful of you that read every day from the bottom of my heart. It makes me happy to know that some of you will show up no matter what.

Lately I have not put as much effort into feeding and nourishing my blog. You bloggers know exactly what I mean. To keep readership up you have to read other blogs and comment regularly. I have struggled finding time for that lately and my blog has suffered. My readership is lagging. My comments are lagging, and that has left me a bit down on the process.

Maybe the biggest thing bothering me is that I wrote what I thought was a great post for Memorial Day. I was excited to post it and hear what people had to say. I thought surely this post would evoke some response. Several readers have said it was powerful so I am pretty sure it was good writing. Alas, to this point the post has garnered a measly 9 comments. That is what has got me down the most. Good content didn't move the masses either.

Now that I am done feeling sorry for myself I will post a few bullet points about what has been going on in the Life of a New Dad house. You know that I love bullet points.

• Braden was sick again this week. Since February he has had problems with his severe pollen allergies about every other week. Those allergies often turn into respiratory infections and ear infections. In between allergy problems Braden has had the pink eye, hand, foot and mouth disease, and about 3 stomach viruses.  It is such a stressful thing to have a kid that just can't get well. Arica and I both feel terrible for him.
• Right now Braden has an infection in both ears and is taking some sort of asthma like breathing treatment. I hate seeing him breathing through the tube. It is a sad sight. I hope he doesn't develop asthma as a result of his allergies. On the plus side he likes taking the inhaler. He thinks it's fun. At least we don't have to fight him. He went back to school today so hopefully the worst is behind us.
• In a bit of good news, I passed my PE exam. The results were posted online and I just found out yesterday. I haven't had the opportunity to celebrate yet, but I think I might pop the top on a cold one tonight. I hope this license and the added letters behind my name will open up more career opportunities for me. Let's keep our fingers crossed.
• Finally I want to put some silliness to rest. I think nearly all of you know this already, but I want to make it official. My first name is not Otter and my last name is not Thomas. None of my names are Thomas to be exact. My given name is Benjamin Buford Blue, but people call me Bubba. No. Seriously. My name is Robert Smith. I continue to parade myself around as Otter for name recognition only. So now you know.

Robert Smith, P.E. signing off.

Don't Call It a Comeback

I am sure that at least a handful of people noticed that I was absent all last week. Don't worry I am not trapped under a cloud of volcanic ash. I have not been incarcerated or injured either. Last week was just a bad week at our house.

Let me ask you a question. What do day cares, preschools, baby Woodstock, and a meeting of the very very young republicans have in common?

They are all perfect breeding grounds for terrible debilitating sickness. Any place that more than one toddler is gathered is more suitable for an evil virus or bacteria than the men's bathroom at the Waffle House. Germs will always prefer a nice blanket at the local preschool over a petri dish in the lab of Louis Pasteur.

Well that concept struck our home and apparently every other home for kids in Braden's class last week.  Braden had a stomach virus for about 7 days. The only thing he could keep down were crackers, water, and pedialyte. Everything else came back with a vengeance. By the end of last week he resembled a stick baby rather than his normally chubby self. Braden's teacher said only a couple kids escaped the outbreak unscathed. Such is life with child care.

Arica caught the virus too. She was sick for about the same amount of time. She got sick a day later, but is just now getting over it.

After taking a day off to help with sickness my remaining free time was spent studying. I finally took my Professional Engineer Licensing exam on Friday. Months of studying culminated in one all day marathon testing session. I am glad it is over.

I think I did rather well on the exam, but I won't know for sure for quite a while. Apparently it takes the testing company 12 weeks to grade our exams. They only give us one day to take the test, but they can grade it for 25% of a year. Thanks for getting in a hurry guys.

Anyway I am back. Hopefully the family is well, and we can get back to providing you the details of our wonderfully exciting lives. I know you are on the edge of your seat, but you will have to wait until next time for any more juicy details.

I am a Dad So You Must Listen to Me

Braden has another ear infection and all the joys that come with it. So yesterday after work I went to the pharmacy to pick up his medicine. I gave them his name. Then the lady started looking through a myriad of baskets to find his prescription. Seriously they had about 50 baskets littering every available counter top in this place. It was no surprise when it took her 5 minutes to find the right basket and that the medicine still wasn't ready.

It was at this time that I started thinking....

This is no way to run a pharmacy. In fact this is no way to run a zoo. These people need help, and I am just the man to help them.  After all I am a Dad. A Dad teaches his kids every minute of the day. Therefore I must be a teacher. I must teach these pharmacy folk.

Hey! Didn't your mother teach you how to clean your room! Or did you grow up in a barn where the only cleaning you did was to remove the cow patties from your hay mattress before you went to sleep!

You need to clean this place up! How do you ever expect to find anything in this pig sty! If it were clean and organized it wouldn't take you 10 minutes to fill an order of ibuprofen!

PICK UP THE BASKETS! GET A BETTER SYSTEM BEFORE SOMEONE DROPS DEAD OUT HERE WAITING FOR PILLS! ARRANGE THEM IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER AT THE VERY LEAST YOU SLOBS!

Oh crap it's the police! This is the last time I ever cause a ruckus next door to the donut shop.

As I ran through the door and out into traffic with Braden's medicine in my hand and fear in my heart, I realized something.

Being a Dad does not give me the unquestionable right to help mankind by teaching them life lessons, even though it should.

...As the flashing blue lights in my delusional mind brought me back to reality I decided to keep my mouth shut and stand there in line like another mindless cow waiting at the feeding trough.

Instead of taking an opportunity to make the world a better place I tried to read the pill bottles on the back wall to see if I recognized anything. That feels about right.

Sickness Never Comes at a Good Time

My return home this time has not been without its challenges. I fell ill about three hours before landing in the U.S. on Saturday. You have never lived until you have puked your guts up repeatedly in a tiny airplane bathroom. I also spent an entire layover sitting on the cold, disgusting, disease ridden, airport men's room floor. I was already sick so what did I care.

On the plus side I found out a way to cut to the front of the security line. Just tell them that if you don't get through in about 10 seconds they will be scanning the contents of your stomach.

After some medicine and a full day of sleep I came around. Then something much worse happened.

Last night we got a call from Grandma at 2 am saying Braden was sick and had vomited a few times. He came home and was sick all night long. There is nothing quite as heart wrenching as watching a baby get sick. We called the doctor and followed their orders. He has no fever and had been asleep for a while when I came to work. Hopefully a trip to the doctor today will fix him up good.

He has to get better fast. He has no choice. Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of the most significant event in the Life of a New Dad family's existence. You might even say this day is the reason all of you have made my acquaintance.