Sharing with Fetuses

It's been a strange and busy week for me. Add to that my latest case of the blogging blues and you get nothing. That is what has been going on around here. Nothing.

I'm poking my head back in today just to share a short story. Arica shared it with me and now I'm sharing it with you.

Lately Braden has been talking to the babies. He goes up to Arica's tummy and says "Hi babies." He will tell anyone that asks he is having "baby sissers" or "two babies" depending on his mood. Yesterday as he was eating some gold fish (the crackers not the pets) he took his relationship with the babies to a whole new level.

Braden lifted up Arica's shirt. Then he stuck a gold fish in her belly button and said "here babies".

That's a good sign. Sharing with his little sisters already.

Being a Better Husband

I wrote my Twin Girls Top 10 about things I needed to do about two weeks ago. It was all in good fun until I got down to number ten. The last item was to be a better husband so my girls will have a good example of how they deserve to be treated. This line of thinking has been stuck in my head for quite a while now. The fact that their idea of what a man should be will come almost entirely from me is beyond scary.

I don't know why setting an example seems to be more critical now with girls than it did with Braden. He is also getting his example from me. I guess it comes from that innate fatherly instinct to protect your little girls. They're not even here yet and I'm already wrapped around their little fingers.

For much of my life I thought I would be the typical Dad as portrayed on TV. I thought I would be the 1950 version of Dad. I would work. I would come home. I would sit in my recliner, drink beer, and watch sports. I didn't need to cook, clean, or do anything else.

Thankfully reality eventually set in. Now I don't even have a recliner.

After work I try to help the best I can. I like to cook actually. I don't think anyone likes to clean, but I help a little. I share the duties with Braden as well. Sometimes I may need to be reminded of what those duties are, but once prodded I can help.

Being an example for the girls is much more than all that though. It is not necessarily about dutifully pulling my share of the load. I can't represent my part in the marriage as the ox that carries the heavy load because he has too. Dad can't be the guy that does all these things out of a sense of duty or worse yet just to stay out of trouble.

I have to be loving above all else. I  read a verse from the book of John today where Jesus says, "If you love me, you will obey what I command." My attitude and help around the house must be taken in the same light. I am not being commanded. That is not the point. The point is that if I love Arica, I should want to help her as much as possible. I should show my love through my actions.

I should happily mop the floor.

I should joyfully fold the clothes.

I should rejoice in changing a dirty diaper.

Let me be the first to admit that this type attitude is not easy for me. I'm human. I would rather watch a ballgame than do any of that stuff. And that is why I wrote #10 the way I did. I have a lot of room to improve as a husband. There is always room to improve, and I want to strive towards a more perfect love that can be seen easily by my children.

These are just the things I think about when my mind wanders. I think it's a lot more productive than my pre-children day dreaming of fishing and cold beer.

First Kicks

I felt one of the girls kicking for the first time last night. That is always a very cool moment for the expecting Dad. Arica has been feeling the kicks for weeks. But it is always much later before Dad gets his first touch from the new life growing within.

Feeling that kick makes things seem a little bit more real, and it means that the arrival of the little kickers is getting closer. I thought it was awesome to get a small little foot five from one of our girls. I don't know which one it was, but I'm glad she said hello.

For that matter even if I did know which girl kicked me, I wouldn't be sure what to call her. We haven't quite figured out the proper naming convention for twins yet. I say the first one gets a certain name and the second one gets the other name, but what do I know. At this point you just can't be sure which is which.

That makes it harder to talk to them before birth. When you have one kid you can pat your wife's belly and call them  by name. I talked to Braden all the time. I wanted him to know my voice when he appeared on the scene.

With the girls I won't know which one I am talking to at any given time. I guess as things get further along they will stake out claim to certain parts of the uterus. When these claims are well established we can give them names like top baby and bottom baby.

Whatever their names, and whichever girl, one of them kicked my hand last night and it was awesome.

Waiting on Reality

The words "You are having twin girls" must be among the most frightening phrases in the English language. It's like my own personal "The British are coming! The British are coming!" Yet I sit here every day in a state of perpetual bliss. I don't have a care in the world.

So what's wrong with me? Why am I not more worried or frightened?

I assume that the day of fear will come. The day when my lack of knowledge no longer impedes the storm clouds of worry. To this point the perfect storm of time and ignorance has kept my fears at bay. Raising twins is still a few months off. Until they arrive I will just enjoy my life...said the dummy.

For now I wait and watch Arica's ever expanding belly. I watch the outward results of two growing babies. I watch as tiny boxes of shoes keep making their way through our doors. As pink and yellow dresses and other miniature outfits parade through our home, I stand idly by with a stupid grin on my face.

I'm having twin girls, I think to myself. Then I continue watching some mindless episode of The Office more concerned with the well being of Michael Scott than my own.

I know reality will come raining down on me one day like a thunderbolt from above. This reality could be sparked by a doctor's visit, a double stroller purchase, or simply by the reasoning center of my brain waking from its winter slumber.

However this thing is triggered, I hope it doesn't come while I'm driving. The last thing I need is to drive off in a ditch somewhere sobbing uncontrollably.

If that happens it will probably go down like this:

When the police arrive on the scene I mutter through trembling lips, "The twins are coming....THE TWINS ARE COMING" as I stare through the officer with wild unfocused eyes.

He asks me to calm down and repeat myself.

"I'm having twin girls," I say in an ominous tone.

At which point he kindly sends me on my way, understanding that I have suffered enough for one day. But he really doesn't understand what having twins means. No one can. Not even me.

And that, my friends, is why I'm cruising through life without a care in the world.

Twin Girls: To Do List

We found out one week ago that we are having twin girls. I am very excited about the opportunity to learn all about the father/daughter relationship. I am certain that I will be powerless against these little angels. Even though it is very exciting, it is never too early to start a to do list in order to prepare our family for those teenage years.

I tried to rise above the fray and not make all the normal girl jokes, but I just couldn't help it. The jokes are all teed up and just waiting for me to take a swing. So here they are in top ten to do list form. I did sneak a serious one in there as well. Well maybe I should say more serious because I have to give all these items consideration.

1. Find the guy responsible for the Coors Light twins commercial and strike him down.
2. Get the Double Mint guy next.
3. Upgrade from single barrel shotgun to double barrel.
4. Enroll Braden in MMA fighting class at earliest opportunity.
5. Get meaner dogs.
6. Call Bear Grylls and learn some of those dead fall trap techniques.
7. Develop War Face.
8. Pro/Con list on mote versus castle wall.
9. Start long campaign to convince Arica we need a more public weapons display in our home.
10. Be a better husband to set a good example for the girls on how they deserve to be treated.

Man Space

I am excited that we are having girls. I know that they will teach me a lot, and show me a new type of loving relationship that I never thought possible. They will be great.

Having said that I am definitely going to need a good support group. I will need help handling the things that Dad's have to handle when girls are involved. You can call it observation, protection, or flat out scare tactics. I'm thankful that our first child was the little guy we call Braden. I know he will always watch out for his sisters.

I also know that I will need another guy to hang out with. Braden is going to be that guy too. I've mentioned before that I don't like the term man cave, but Braden and I are going to need something like that. We will need a place to occasionally escape from the main part of the house that henceforth will always be running on estrogen. Braden and I will have to carve out our own little manly niche somewhere in our home.

Unfortunately, finding a house big enough for three kids and a full size playroom for the boys might be a little difficult. So with that in mind I think Braden and I might just claim all of the outdoors for our man cave. We can call it our man space. After all, hunting, fishing, baseball, football, camping, and any number of other manly things that I enjoy take place outdoors.

So here's to spending as much of my life with Braden as possible outside the walls of our home. It will be our sanctuary. And as you can see from the photo above we are already pretty comfortable with the idea.

Raising Money for Twins

It was hard to watch him drive away. It felt like he was taking a part of my manhood with him. At the same time it was certain that he was taking away part of my past. Left in the driveway watching him go I was staring at my future. Even though I stood frozen, feet planted firmly on the cracked slope of our driveway, I was taking a big step towards a better life.

This was probably the first time that I have ever given something completely selflessly. So often I give only so I might get in return. My giving is part of some grand plan to get what I want. This time was different. I was getting nothing in return. The situation looked so dire that I actually tried to back out of the deal a few days earlier. I tried to get myself off the hook.

In so doing I nearly ruined the selfless act altogether. For it is not enough to give. In order for your giving to truly matter you have to give with the right attitude. Every man has been asked to do the dishes and had some smart remark in response. Even though we end up doing the dishes anyway, our wives are not standing in line to sing our praises. That is because we didn't do it with the right attitude. We have to give with a cheerful heart for the true impact to be felt.

So even as my fishing boat drove off into the midday sun I felt a tinge of joy in my heart. I knew this was the right thing to do for our growing family. I'm thankful that Arica was there for me when I had a little crisis of selfishness. If not for her I probably would have went fishing instead.

Twins don't wait until they arrive to start changing your lives. They start right in from the time you see that first ultrasound. Changes have to be made, and I'm glad we have the ability to make them.

After all, I can fish with my Father-in-law whenever the mood strikes. It's not like I sold all my fishing gear and moved to the dessert. Fishing opportunities will always be there. The opportunity to raise twins is not so common.

Since I sold the boat I found out we are having two girls. That means the financial need is going to be even greater. And the money we got for the boat will buy an awful lot of shoes.

Same Sex Fraternal Twins

Arica and I went in for her second official ultrasound today. It is a common misconception that this ultrasound is for determining the sex of the baby. Although I will reveal that momentarily, it is not the reason any physician prescribes this scan. The ultrasound's function is actually to find about a million different anatomical blurbs on the screen to help the doctor determine how the babies are doing. Among those things are the cerebellum, stomach, kidneys, chambers of the heart, and a bunch of ABCs whose meanings I am not privy too.

On that note I am very happy to say that the doctors exact words on how things looked was, "Perfect." The twins are measuring within three days of the expected due date. Their weights are 11 and 12 ounces which is within the desired range for weight difference. Everything is cooking well which is the most important thing.

Of course I have never had a single person text, Facebook, tweet, or dial up the phone and ask me how the babies kidneys looked. The only queries I have fielded for weeks now have involved the sex of the babies.

But before I get to that let's talk a brief bit about identical and fraternal twins. Our twins have separate placentas. Although there is no one hundred percent guarantee this most likely means that we will be having fraternal twins. The odds of them being identical at this point are extremely low.

Finally, we come to the private parts. Today there was only one type of private parts shown on that black and white screen. And those parts were girl parts.

We are expecting two little girls!!!

I am really excited, but altogether lost. I have a brother and a son. I don't know anything about girls. Ask my wife.

I will certainly be making gun jokes for years to come, but that is not the true sentiment of the day. Today I am in awe that God has chosen to bless Arica and me with two beautiful baby girls. I promise to do everything in my power to be the best Dad that I can for these two angels. I will learn to like pink. I will learn to play with dolls. I will learn to love ribbons, bows, dresses, and closets full of shoes.

As I understand the father/daughter relationship I probably won't have any power to resist anyway.

A Perfect Kid with a Sleep Disorder

This is the only explanation. We've lived with this person for two years and a little over three months now. I know what he is like. Braden has been one of the easiest kids to raise that anyone could hope for during the daylight hours. But after dark he can be difficult.

Braden gave up his bottle cold turkey at 12 months. No trouble at all. Not one crying fit over his bottle. His pacifier went in the same exact way shortly after that. Braden has always been a good eater. That is part of the reason he got of the bottle so quick. He likes food. He loves fruits and veggies and will never turn them down. He loves milk and water, and drinks them almost exclusively.

But his greatness does not only revolve around food. At the ripe old age of two he has 80% mastered potty training in only a few short months. His terrible twos tantrums only lasted a short while. He always says please and thank you without prompting. If he so much as bumps into you he will offer a sorry.

This is daytime Braden. He is a sweet, loving, good mannered angel.

Night time Braden is a different story. He has been difficult from the very beginning. Arica and I spent months sleeping on the couch while he slept in his swing as an infant. We both took turns sleeping on an air mattress in his room when trying to transition him to his crib. We tried to get Braden to sleep in everything in the house short of our chest of drawers. You can go back and read The Quest for Sleep if you want to see what I'm talking about.

In fact just click Sleep to find all the posts that I have written about our troubles over the past two years .

Just last night Braden was up at 2 am crying for someone to get him out of bed. It took Arica and I two trips each to discuss the merits of sleeping at night before he finally went back to sleep. He woke up again later. Then he finally got up a 5:45 to watch TV. Then he went back to sleep on the couch and didn't want to wake up and face the day.

Arica claims he is part owl.

Braden has gone through long stretches where he wakes up around two am every night. I've spent more nights than I can count on the couch with him watching cartoons in the wee hours.

He is just now trying to get over a spell where he cries for two hours when you put him to bed. No matter how you go about it he struggles to sleep more than five hours at a time. He is just wide awake at the most inconvenient times.

Let me stop everyone from suggesting we cut out his nap. We tried that already. When we cut his nap time down to one hour a couple months back he morphed into a miniature flesh colored version of the Incredible Hulk. So naps are still necessary.

This all brings me back to my original point. Braden is the perfect child. He just has a sleeping disorder. I don't need any doctors or sleep disorder experts to tell me that. I know.

So as the twins approach, and Braden continues his all out war against sleep, I think there is only one way this all shakes out. It goes something like this. Coming this Summer to a blogging circle near you, ZOMBIE DAD! Starring me.

Potty Training and Sharp Knives

I tried a few weeks back to blog more. The results of that effort were the same as any of my other attempts to be a super blogger. I get on a little roll and then the circumstances of life just push blogging aside. I've been busy and not blogging as you can plainly see. Today I'll spit out several topics that I haven't had time to flesh out into their own posts. I think I'll call it Random Tuesday Thoughts unless that is already taken. So Random Tuesday with no button. Enjoy.

• I mentioned the review I was going to do recently. It turns out that I don't actually have to do the review on this blog so you are all saved from that excitement. I am going to tell you what I bought though. I got a nice German made knife sharpener because every parent knows the most important thing to have in a home with young children is sharp knives.
• Braden has been a potty training wonder. He rarely has accidents of any kind. He tells Arica or me when he has to pee or poop. He wears a diaper at nap time but never pees in it. He still pees some at night but not nearly as much. I am ecstatic about how this has gone. Thank you Arica and Braden.
• Braden does other things at night that are not so much a source of pride. For the past week he has been staying up for two hours or more past his bedtime. He never gets out of bed. He just lays in there and talks and screams and laughs. Sometimes he cries but not often. He just won't sleep. The kid is staying up past our bedtime. Yet he still needs a nap to make it through the day. We are stuck in some sort of in between stage of sleep development. It is very frustrating.
• I put my boat up for sale Monday via the nut house they call Craigslist. That place is full of winners. Anyway I was contacted 8 times in the first 24 hours. I'm starting to think that I should have asked for more money.
• Braden is nuts for the Scooby Doo movie. I'm not talking about any of the dozens of cartoon movies. He doesn't like the cartoons at all. He likes the live action movie with Freddie Prinze and Buffy. He laughs all the time at CGI Scooby. I have seen the movie numerous times now, and it's tolerable. I think Mathew Lillard should have got an Oscar Nomination for his portrayal of Shaggy. Either that or I've been sniffing too much glue.
• Finally, I have to remind everyone who is interested that we will be finding out the sex of our twins on Monday. So stay tuned for that, especially if you bet money on any of the possible outcomes in Vegas.

Men on Twins

Everything on my mind is twins, twins, twins lately. I guess that is the appropriate response for a man in my position. In 13 short days we will discover the sex of our twins. At that time we can start to make more formal plans for the things we need to purchase. If we have at least one boy then we are in good shape for toys and clothes. If we have zero boys then it's off to the second hand store to peddle our wares.

People always want to know how you felt when you found out you were having twins. Many a person has laughed at just the thought of my reaction. That reaction took place about four months ago, and now we are more entrenched in the reality portion of this endeavor.

Still people want to know your feelings. I think maybe they want you to burst into tears sobbing, "I can't do this! Why me!" Maybe it's more of an honest question. People just want to know what it is like to experience something that is not the norm.

Whatever the reason for the questions, I am here to provide the answers...from a male point of view.

Thinking about my feelings I have determined that there are three distinct feelings that come with expecting twins. A normal person experiences all these emotions. You may feel them all at once in the beginning, but it is more likely a progression. Some people may not experience them all, but it is best that the mated pair experience all these emotions as a group at the very least.

Also at any time during the nine month gestation period of the human female, the male of the species can switch from one emotion to another on an monthly, daily, or even hourly basis. There are a lot of things to process in this situation so the mind just processes at will. At least that's how it works for me.

The first emotion as you could probably all guess is shock. Holy #$!& if you will. This can last various lengths of time. I guess some people can be shocked for the entire nine months. For me it lasted just a couple days. It was very severe for the first 30 minutes during which time I did not utter a single word. After a few days the governing emotion changed.

The second feeling that I experienced was blessing. I still experience this emotion on a daily basis. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to experience the wonder of twins. I know it is a blessing to be able to have even one child, but to be blessed by two at once is indeed special. After the initial shock wore off, I was already the father of twins in my mind, and I love it. I wouldn't have it any other way.

The final mind set that comes with having twins is the one that governs my thoughts most days. This is the practical approach. Twins changes everything. The first thing you think of is how to deal with two screaming pooping bundles of joy at once. But that soon fades into the shadows of bigger more immediate concerns.

For example: Our house is too small. We need a bigger one. Our car is too small. We need a bigger one. We need to rearrange our room to make room for the babies. We need to buy Braden another bed so the babies can have the crib that is now converted into a toddler bed. We need to sell my boat to raise a little extra cash. We need to review our finances and make the proper adjustments.

So in a month or so we will probably be trying to sell a house, car, and boat all at the same time. We will be rearranging half of our home. We will be buying one of just about everything because even though we kept all of Braden's stuff he is only one baby. We are now expecting two.

Just like in a normal pregnancy the time before the baby allows the parents to get their lives in order. It is a good plan. Thank you God. Babies just arriving on the door step unannounced would be a huge problem. We all need time to prepare. So even though we have a kid already, everything is new this time. And we are going to spend the next four months weaving in and out of shock, blessing, and practicality while transforming our lives into Twin Mode.

Control of the House

I've been snowed in for the past two days. On top of that everyone in the house has been sick. Unfortunately no one had a vividly insane fever dream that warranted a post. Instead you are all left to what little coherent thought my meager brain could muster.

The mid term elections last year were much talked about because of the possible change in control of Congress. The results would determine who ruled the House and Senate and thus the government. Essentially it was a question of whether Obama would continue to get free rein or if he would face some opposition. Well I hate politics, so lets end this little analogy here.

Control of the Life of a New Dad house is up for grabs this year in much the same way. We aren't having elections. In fact the outcome has already been determined. We just don't yet have the results. If you want to keep the political analogy going you could say that the results have yet to be verified by the proper authorities. When we find out the sex of our twins in about two weeks it will reveal much more than the type of clothes we should buy or what names are appropriate. The verdict will set the power balance of our house for the next 18 years or so.

Normally a couple on their second pregnancy can still possibly come out with a divided house where the estrogen and testosterone are balanced. It is far from certain, but indeed a possibility.

When that pregnancy is discovered to be a twin pregnancy then you skip the possibility of nice even numbers. You go from three to five. The house balance of power can lean towards either girl or boy. The stakes are very high. For us the possible outcomes are as follows.

1. Four boys, 1 Girl - SportsCenter House
2. Three boys, 2 Girls - Even Steven House
3. Three girls, 2 Boys - Reality TV House

I know I am making broad gender specific generalizations here. I am assuming the boys will tend to be like me and the girls will tend to be like their mother. I think this is the safest assumption to use, although I am fully aware that reality could possibly be 180 degrees from this. I still feel like there is a very small chance of that.

I made a judgement call on the three to two house. I call that even steven because let's face it, Arica rules the house and she is on that team. I need three other boys on my side to assert male dominance. Any guys out there who are laughing at me obviously aren't married, or they won't be for long.

So that's what is on my mind. How will this shake out? If you read the last post you know I'll be happy with any verdict, but the reality of what life will be like changes dramatically from one alignment to another.

Stop Telling Me You Don't Want Girls

Time is flying by during this pregnancy for both me and Arica. She is now 17 weeks pregnant which is hard to believe. That puts us smack dab in the middle of the wondering about our babies sex period. We can't wait to know.

And with twins it is a much bigger deal. At least it feels that way to me. There are three possibilities sex wise rather than only two. There is also the fraternal/identical thing. This pregnancy could shake out any number of ways. We are really excited to find out, but rather than talk about that today I have some frustrations to vent.

I keep hearing pregnant friends say that they don't want to have girls. Even worse we have people saying that they don't want US to have girls, as if it is really any of their business. Some folks have even gone as far as joking if they are girls we should just send them back.

I will be honest and say that like most men I wanted a boy the first time. I was excited when we first saw Braden's boy parts. But I would never joke that I would send a baby back based on sex. To me that is just stupid, and frankly it's starting to get on my nerves big time.

Having kids is not like going to McDonald's and picking out a value meal. You don't get to make a choice. If you are able to have kids then you should just be thankful to be so blessed. People should just take what God gives them and be happy about it because there are plenty of people out there who would love to have kids but can't.

Sure I've made all the jokes about having girls and buying shotguns. I don't mind those. They are in good fun and somewhat realistic if you know me. Those jokes are good fun, but they don't in any way insinuate that I would rather give the girls back than protect them from teenage boys with raging hormones.

I also heard a story recently about another couple that found out they were having twins, and they just lost it. They didn't want twins. That would interfere with their lives. It was too hard. It wasn't fair.

Let me assure you that I understand how if feels to get that shocking news. It was overwhelming for me, but I would never suggest that I didn't want those babies. Having twins I feel doubly blessed even though I am aware that I will be doubly tired and doubly insane.

Maybe I need to lighten up a bit. I don't know.

Personally I just feel like having a baby is way too awesome of an experience to cheapen it by insinuating that if you don't get the kind of child you want you will be disappointed. What's next? People who will send their kids back if they aren't athletes or musicians? What about eye and hair color?

Everyone should rejoice in the miracle of life no matter what. I know I will.

Ultrasounds....And Twins!

We snuck into the doctor's office late Monday afternoon. Our mission was to get one of those "for fun" ultrasounds that our doctor had invited us to have. It was all very hush hush, secret spy sort of stuff. Don't tell Obama. We don't want to get the health care police into a huff.

Even if you've done it before it is always fun to visit the ultrasound machine. Those grainy black and white pictures offer the first glimpses of the babies that you can't wait to hold in a few months.

We had seen the babies at about seven weeks. That is how we got the news we were expecting twins. Of course they looked like grains of rice way back then. Now we were eager to see how they had grown, and what a tummy full of two babies looked like.

Well it was nothing short of amazing. It was hard for the ultrasound lady to hold both babies in one view. But for one brief moment she got them. It didn't last long enough for her to hit the print button so we didn't get a picture. They apparently don't offer DVDs of these secret sessions either. But that didn't matter. The image of both babies, one on top of the other, will live on in my memory forever. What an amazing thing.

We got some other great images as well. There was one where one of the babies had his hand held out in front of his/her head. You could clearly see all five fingers. It is so crazy that, even as small as they are, they look like babies now. The tiny arms, legs, hands, and feet are so cute.

We won't go in for the official determination of the sex for another five weeks. So I have no announcement to make on that front. At one point during the show both Arica and I thought we saw "boy parts" on one of the babies. I can't remember if it was Baby A or Baby B. As a side note, at our particular clinic they always call the baby located lowest in the belly Baby A. I don't know if this is common convention or just their preference. Either way now you know.

The stenographer (read ultrasound lady) said she couldn't find any "boy parts" but it was really too early to tell. The doctor also said it was too early. Despite the fact that these two people are medical professionals and one of them has been delivering babies for 30 years, everyone we know has said they are wrong. They can tell the sex now. Whatever. We will not know the sex for another five weeks. That's my story.

I have, however, begun to prepare myself for the possibility of twin girls. I keep hearing that stupid Coors light commercial ringing in my head.

"And Twins!"

That's a nightmare.

I've also started to develop building plans for Braden and I to have our own little escape from the girls. It will be a place we can go to escape reality TV and watch a football game instead. It will have multiple TVs. It will have cold drinks. There will be rock music. It will be our manly place. I don't like the term man cave so I'm not calling it that. That term rose to prominence too fast for me. I never really accepted it. We'll call it, as Frank Costanza once said, "The Place to Be."

Whether "The Place to Be" ever comes to life or not is really not important. Maybe Arica will need her own place to run from all the boys when the time comes. We don't know. What we do know is that so far the babies are perfectly healthy, and that is all that really matters.

The Unforgiven

I am a huge Clint Eastwood fan. I think he is one of the coolest, toughest leading men of all time. So when I was flipping channels on Sunday as the rest of my family napped I had to watch a little of the Unforgiven. It is probably my favorite western of all time. I was flipping back and forth between that and football, and Braden eventually woke up so I didn't get to see much of the movie. Even though TV time was cut short I thought of my favorite line in the movie and was inspired to write today's post.

In the closing gunfight one of the bad guys played by Gene Hackman says, "...You just shot an unarmed man!"

My hero Mr. Eastwood replies, "Well he should have armed himself..."

That is one of my favorite movie lines, but Sunday it didn't remind me of manly tough guy things. It made me think of my tiny unborn twins. It made me think about their arrival this summer. They will arrive with guns blazing.

Dirty diaper! Pow!

Hungry! Bang!

Wet Diaper! Boom!

I SAID HUNGRY! Bang!

They will be packing a double barrel shotgun full of ammo for me. And they won't care if I'm armed or not. You see in this analogy the twins are Clint Eastwood, and it is up to me to arm myself.

I can either be the unarmed man that goes down in a blaze of pooping, crying, sleepless glory. Or I can do my best to be prepared. I can arm myself with knowledge, patience, understanding, self control, and of course love.

How in the world can I prepare for the birth of twins? I don't really know that exactly. I figure it is like the birth of your first child all over again. Everything is new. Everything must be learned by first hand experience. After all no one in my family has twins. They can't give me advice.

I think the best way to arm myself is through daily prayer and self reflection. I have about six more months to figure out what improvements I need to make. Although much of my life I just barrelled ahead like everything I did was right, I have developed a strong belief in self reflection. Being married to a smart and caring woman has helped me tremendously in this area.

Everyone should regularly take the time to look at their life, how they behave, and how they react to others. By doing this I can easily see that I need to work on my patience. I need to continue my effort to be more selfless. I need to keep working on the idea that I am now, above all things, a husband and father.

I think arming myself with the knowledge that my sole purpose in life will be to care for my wife and three kids is the best thing I can do. Taking the time to wean myself off other pursuits that are really a waste of time is part of that. I have to learn to be more mindful of my time. I'll pray about it, and I'll work on it every day.

In the end I'm just thankful that, unlike the bad guys on the Unforgiven, I've been given enough warning of the gunfight to come that I have time to properly arm myself.

Pregnant with Twins - How Does It Feel?

Anyone out there ever wonder what it feels like to be pregnant with twins? Ladies? Guys? Bueller?

Well I may not be the perfect person to tell you, but I live with someone who is an expert. I see her every day. After observing her for a few weeks I have been able to piece together a few things about the early portion of pregnancy with twins.

If I may use a technical term, the first trimester can be a tough time for a woman. Sidebar: If the term for one third of a mester is trimester, why is half the school year not called a bimester. These are the things that keep me up at night, but I digress. Arica has been extra sick, extra tired, and just plain feeling extra bad.

When she told her doctor that she was feeling a lot more sick this time than she did with Braden, he laughed and said, "There's a reason for that."

It would follow logically that with two babies a woman's body produces twice the hormones. These hormones are the ones that make a woman feel nauseous and get sick. So it's true. With twins you get twice as sick.

Consider this message a public service announcement, and don't ever say that this is not an educational blog. We strive to inform here at Life of a New Dad.

Please say a prayer for Arica too while your at it. We'd love for her to have more energy and feel a bit better while we are celebrating Christmas.

Philippians 4:13 and My Life

Now for the post you have all been waiting for. What is it really like for us now that we know we are having twins? I'm glad you asked. Today I offer you some of the top things we are dealing with along with a new motto. After all, if anybody needs a new motto it's me.

Arica, Braden, and I currently live in a 2 bedroom home. That is 0.67 bedrooms per resident, which is a decidedly bad ratio when one is considering expanding their family. Knowing this Arica and I put our house on the market with the optimistic hope that our homes distinct charm and location in one of the cities best neighborhoods would be enough to garner interest even in a terrible economy. Our optimism was rewarded with a harsh slap in the face.

Now that we have found out our family will be growing at twice the expected rate our bedroom per resident ratio is even more troubling. So instead of staying above the fray Arica and I now have to consider jumping into the fight for scraps in this buyers market. We have to fight for buyers with the pit bulls known as repossessed homes. They win out over the people who actually were able to afford their mortgages. Such a wonderful mess we have here.

Basically the choices we have are to severely discount our house in hopes of selling it, build on to our house or somehow transform it, or live in squalor.

In a positive development our Real Estate agent is quitting real estate altogether. Yes, this is a positive development. He has been terrible. I am already excited about the new guy after only talking to him once.

No matter the agent, trying to sell the house leads to the most complicated of financial calculations. I am of course an engineer not an accountant. I do have impressive spread sheet skills, however, that I have been putting to good use trying to figure out where we fit into this whole mess financially.  It goes something like this: My salary minus debt plus anything that is not nailed down and thus available to sell minus diapers for two more kids plus hopefully no more diapers for Braden plus various associated fees that will go away minus increases in insurance and property taxes minus baby gear minus baby food and so on.

Then there is the sleeping situation no matter what house we are in. Braden needs to learn how to sleep in a toddler bed as soon as possible. By doing this Braden will allow us to use his crib for the babies thus avoiding the costly purchase of another crib or two. This money stuff figures into that calculation above some how but my head is still spinning so we'll come back to that. 

The problem with the sleeping thing is that Braden wakes up in the middle of the night and wants to watch cartoons 4 or 5 nights a week. Without a cage keeping him in place there is no way that he will ever go to sleep. He'll be roaming the house all night like a zombie bent on destruction. Yet the situation has to be dealt with soon.

There is also the potty training situation that I have been writing about lately. Getting Braden out of diapers before the babies arrive would be a great help. So we have that going as well.

These are just some highlight points. There are plenty of other areas that need addressing as well. In closing I have to say that I am going to need God on my side for this one. I am so thankful that He has promised to watch after me. I know He will. With that, here is my new motto.

Philippians 4:13: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

And that includes raising Braden and twins.

The Potty Training Race Against Time

One of the many challenges of raising twins will be continuing to raise Braden. We will have to be sure that we make time to spend with him. It seems almost cruel that he will go from the focal point of our world for nearly 3 years to a mere third child all at once.

Arica and I have already talked about how we must make it a priority to continue spending time with Braden. We will have to take special Braden only outings so that he can receive our full attention. I need to start practicing that today on this blog as well.

With all the excitement that has turned our world upside down in the past week I have neglected to share some of Braden's accomplishments. Specifically I haven't told any tales about beginning the potty training adventure.

While Braden is at home with Arica these days we have been keeping him in pull ups. Arica will ask him many times a day if he needs to use the bathroom. He will pee almost every time you take him. That is a good thing. He gets excited about the process. Most of his excitement comes from the awarding of M&Ms, but that is exactly why he gets them.

Braden sometimes will even tell Arica or myself that he needs to use the bathroom. Braden will tell you by saying, "Mama. I pee pee." To me that is a huge deal. The fact that once in a while he knows he needs to go to the bathroom is a big success.

We experienced another success when earlier this week Braden told his Mom, "Mama. I poop." Arica took him to the bathroom and Braden did his business. It was his first poop in the toilet. I didn't expect that for months. We were all VERY excited. Pooping in the toilet is a big step in the right direction.

I am aware that it will be a slow process, but we have extra motivation now. The thought of having 3 kids in diapers at the same time is enough to make any parent potty train with the intensity of an Israeli security force. Two new babies will push the first kid right on out of babyhood, whether we are ready for that or not.
 
I once said I wanted to replace boxes of diapers with boxes of beer. Well now I just want to replace them with boxes of smaller diapers. Things change.

Top Ten Thoughts On Twins

I promise that I will have a serious take on this matter coming soon. Then in the months to follow I will have every different kind of update and philosophical pondering. Of course those will be blended well with OH %!@# moments. The truth of the matter is that every thought I have is consumed by this situation. But for now I just want to laugh. So here is a light hearted list of the top ten things I thought when informed we were having twins.

1. I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue.
2. Holy #$%!#
3. Are you drunk lady?
4. How many is twins?
5. I wonder if Wal Mart is hiring.
6. Do they give "father of twins" discounts at the nut house?
7. This lady is about as funny as George Lopez.
8. One fish. Two fish. Red fish. Blue fish.
9. Two more and we've got a basketball team.
10. Breathe.

Are You Sitting Down?

Friday morning I got the most shocking news of my life. I felt like Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation when he tells Cousin Eddie, "If I woke up tomorrow morning with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now."

You see this news has changed my entire outlook on life. All of my expectations and plans have changed. These plans haven't been rendered useless, but they do need tweaking. Before today I was confident that I had a good grasp on how our lives would unfold. Just when you start thinking that, God steps in and says not so fast my friend.

I was waiting for the right time to share some news with all of you. Well the time is now. Arica is pregnant. We have known for a little while, but tried to keep it secret. We finally gave up on that and told our families last week. Now I am sharing it with you so I can tell this story.

Today I went with Arica for her first OB visit. We went a week earlier than scheduled because Arica was having some pains that we wanted to have checked out. After listening to the doctor I was a bit concerned. He thought everything was OK, but it was clear from his mannerisms that he wasn't completely sure. He requested that Arica get an ultrasound to make sure everything looked good.

As we went across the hall with the tiny little ultrasound lady, my heart was in my throat. Butterflies were flying around in my stomach. What if something was wrong?

The ultrasound lady played a little picture pages and then had an opening question. From those words I could tell that she had some news to share with us. We knew Arica was pregnant already so I didn't really expect good news. I certainly didn't expect in my wildest dreams what was coming next.

WE ARE HAVING TWINS!!!