Tools of Fatherhood

During all this talk about twins and girls and getting ready for that ship to land, I am still practicing the art of fatherhood for one supremely awesome little boy. Braden is never outshone by the preparation and nail biting that accompany a twin pregnancy. In fact he probably couldn't be outshone by the sun if it took up residence in our living room.

This morning at 3:30 am he reminded us of our duties when he woke up crying. When I went to ask him what he wanted Braden replied, "I want sleep Daddy's bed." On a side note Braden thinks the couch is my bed. Not because I am frequently in the doghouse, but because that is where he gets to sleep with me on those particularly difficult nights.

This time I told him no to Daddy's bed. Then I rubbed his back until he went back to sleep. Thankfully that only took a few minutes. Because any more difficulties would have required me to call in the big guns. At our house we call her Mom.

Arica can get Braden to do most anything. She has her bluff in on him. She threatens and he moves. She can threaten time outs, naps, taking away toys, turning off the TV, and other things. Even when those threats are met with the utmost dissension, she eventually wins out. Of course it is not always threatening that works. Many times it is a simple explanation that gets Braden's approval. Other times it is redirecting his attention to something else. Arica is a master of all these techniques.

On the other hand I am a master of none. My threats carry the weight of a feather. Even when I carry them through I can't get the desired result. Braden has actually started to respond to me a little better. Sometimes he knows I mean business. But most of the time he either carries on like I'm not there or he digs in and argues ferociously. If you've never seen a 2 year old argue with a 33 year old then consider yourself lucky. It is not a pretty sight.

During these most difficult of times I do have one weapon. When Braden is being difficult for some reason Arica can go to her bag of tricks for reason, punishment, or distraction. I am not so lucky. In my tool box there is but one tool for sticky situations. When the going gets tough, you know what I do?

I tickle.

This is certainly not award winning parenting, but you do what you have to do. I can't succeed at any of the typically prescribed disciplinary methods, but man can I tickle a frown away. It's fun for now, but I better get some chops before Braden reaches high school. I can't see tickling as a proper method for handling any of those teenage problems.

Potty Training: Shower Poop

We are still trudging along the uphill slope that is potty training. There are wins. There are losses. The wins are a lot of fun. But the losses are messy and smell really bad.

Arica is doing all the heavy lifting on this one. She is the stay at home Mom tasked with sending Braden to the toilet time and time again. She is responsible for arguing, pleading, bribing, and ultimately making all the potty training rules.

Braden is still wearing underwear every day. He almost never pees in them. In fact he pretty much never pees during his nap either. Arica always puts a diaper on him just in case, but it has been weeks since that diaper has soaked up any of the little man's pee.

Pooping is another story, which brings us to the title of today's post. For a long while Braden's favorite plan for evading toilet pooping was to wait until his Mother took her morning shower. At that time Braden would hang out in the bathroom and do his business. He didn't poop in the shower, or the toiler for that matter, but he did his pooping while the shower was in use.

Arica, being the super mom that she is, started putting him on the toilet when she took a shower. She would make him stay there until he did his business. He would stay too. He learned much faster than I did that his Mom means business. Just another indication that he is already smarter than me.

We still have accidents like any other potty training family, but Braden is really doing a great job. Yesterday he used the toilet twice. I'm really proud of him for being such a fast  learner and doing this at such a young age. Underwear, persistence, patience, and a great wife seem to be the keys to this potty training stuff, as far as I can tell.

Operation avoid three kids in diapers at one time still has hope as long as the trend line keeps moving in the right direction.

Sugar Bowl Crash

I had something else planned to write about today, but the events of life often change our plans. Of course this is about the devastating Sugar Bowl loss that was handed to the Razorbacks and the entire state of Arkansas last night. All around the state today people sit at their places of work and blankly stare at the walls with thoughts of what if?

What if Joe Adams could catch a football?

What if Mallet hadn't thrown the ball directly to a DE in the final seconds of the game?

What if the Hogs could tackle Pryor?

What if the defense had recovered that fumble on OSU's first drive?

What if the DB's batted down one of those TD passes when they were in great position?

What if the Hogs had picked up the blocked punt and scored?

This type of speculation will go on until next fall. That is the curse of losing a bowl game. Most people can't get that taste out of their mouth until another game is played. But I'm writing today because that's just not me anymore. I still love the Razorbacks way too much. I still got very mad and may or may not have screamed obscenities when Mallet threw that last interception. I had trouble getting to sleep last night, and the first thing I thought of this morning was the loss.

Then I saw my beautiful wife. I knew she hadn't slept well last night. She's had a headache for about 36 hours straight. She said she was really tired. At that time football meant nothing. Arica is pregnant with two special little babies. She is struggling with feeling bad a lot of the time. All I wanted to do was help her feel better. So I just sat there and rubbed her back for a few minutes.

Then Braden, who stayed with his Grandma last night, came home. He was happily jabbering on about everything. Then he gave me a big hug and any lingering feelings of loss and pain caused by the football game vanished completely.

Before getting married and having a kid a loss like this would linger for weeks. At totally unexpected times the pain of losing would shoot down my spine. It wouldn't take much to set off the mourning cycle all over again, but now I don't have time for that.

It is a great blessing to have things in my life much more important than a football game. Today things go right back to normal. My main focuses are to help out Arica as best I can and play with my little boy. Those things bring true and complete joy that easily overcomes the pain of watching a team of people I've never met lose a football game on TV.

Yes I'm still a big fan, and I was extremely upset about the loss. But this is the part where escaping the carefree days of youth is a good thing. Now I have grown up responsibilities. I have things to occupy my mind other than wondering why Petrino called a straight drop back pass on 4th and 1.

Life is full of blessings. One of those blessings is the ability to enjoy sporting competition by participating or  by watching. A greater blessing though is the ability to share the joy of victory and to totally forget about the agony of defeat with my family.

Pregnant with Twins - How Does It Feel?

Anyone out there ever wonder what it feels like to be pregnant with twins? Ladies? Guys? Bueller?

Well I may not be the perfect person to tell you, but I live with someone who is an expert. I see her every day. After observing her for a few weeks I have been able to piece together a few things about the early portion of pregnancy with twins.

If I may use a technical term, the first trimester can be a tough time for a woman. Sidebar: If the term for one third of a mester is trimester, why is half the school year not called a bimester. These are the things that keep me up at night, but I digress. Arica has been extra sick, extra tired, and just plain feeling extra bad.

When she told her doctor that she was feeling a lot more sick this time than she did with Braden, he laughed and said, "There's a reason for that."

It would follow logically that with two babies a woman's body produces twice the hormones. These hormones are the ones that make a woman feel nauseous and get sick. So it's true. With twins you get twice as sick.

Consider this message a public service announcement, and don't ever say that this is not an educational blog. We strive to inform here at Life of a New Dad.

Please say a prayer for Arica too while your at it. We'd love for her to have more energy and feel a bit better while we are celebrating Christmas.

Are You Sitting Down?

Friday morning I got the most shocking news of my life. I felt like Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation when he tells Cousin Eddie, "If I woke up tomorrow morning with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now."

You see this news has changed my entire outlook on life. All of my expectations and plans have changed. These plans haven't been rendered useless, but they do need tweaking. Before today I was confident that I had a good grasp on how our lives would unfold. Just when you start thinking that, God steps in and says not so fast my friend.

I was waiting for the right time to share some news with all of you. Well the time is now. Arica is pregnant. We have known for a little while, but tried to keep it secret. We finally gave up on that and told our families last week. Now I am sharing it with you so I can tell this story.

Today I went with Arica for her first OB visit. We went a week earlier than scheduled because Arica was having some pains that we wanted to have checked out. After listening to the doctor I was a bit concerned. He thought everything was OK, but it was clear from his mannerisms that he wasn't completely sure. He requested that Arica get an ultrasound to make sure everything looked good.

As we went across the hall with the tiny little ultrasound lady, my heart was in my throat. Butterflies were flying around in my stomach. What if something was wrong?

The ultrasound lady played a little picture pages and then had an opening question. From those words I could tell that she had some news to share with us. We knew Arica was pregnant already so I didn't really expect good news. I certainly didn't expect in my wildest dreams what was coming next.

WE ARE HAVING TWINS!!!

Macaroni And Cheese Tears a Family Apart

When Arica and I first met I knew right away that she was a good match for me. Everything seemed in order right of the bat. And as I got to know her better that definitely held true. I only found one thing about her that seemed odd to me.

Arica absolutely detests macaroni and cheese.

I used to tease her about it and say she must be a communist. There is no way that a full blooded American could not like mac and cheese. I just couldn't imagine that.

Well, let me warn you to be careful what you ridicule. Now I am the odd ball in our house because Braden hates the cheesy pasta favorite of many a kid as well. I teased my wife, and God saw fit to add another anti-macaroni member to our family.

Braden dislikes the dish so much that when it's served at school he refuses to eat anything. He won't eat a single thing that is on the same plate as the vile cheesy pasta. We have to keep extra meals at the school just for the days when macaroni is served. Otherwise our child would starve.

An interesting experiment might be to serve him some macaroni and cheese with a side of chocolate. I bet he would eat the chocolate, but nothing short of that would be deemed edible.

So once again I open my mouth and show my ignorance. Not only can a full blooded American dislike macaroni and cheese, but my very own flesh and blood can despise it as well. 

For the record, I am not a communist.

Here's Water In Your Eye

There is a fairly large online community, many of them my friends, of stay at home dads (SAHD). A lot of the growing presence of this Dad blogging stuff is fueled by those same SAHD's. I often read about the problems they have in what is typically a female dominated occupation. As bloggers they are also introduced to all sorts of offers and advertisers that address them as moms based on assumptions alone. I know from following these guys how frustrating this can be.

Even with the growing number of SAHD's I still think that there are many things that moms do as parents much better than us dads. If you disagree then by all means call me an idiot. It won't be the first time.

In my experience moms are simply more nurturing and gentle people. They are more understanding and compassionate. I, being a dad, am in no way gentle. I am not nurturing. I am rough and practical. I am more prone to analysis of the problem than offering my condolences.

I am OK with this. I think it clearly shows why it is best to have two parents raise a child. The kid then gets the benefits of each type of personality. Braden has his sweet loving mom to care for his every need, and he has his dad to teach him how to kill animals and fix the sink.

Over the past year bathing Braden has been one of my primary duties. For the first 6 months of his life I don't think I ever gave Braden a bath. It was a delicate process and I feared it immensely. Eventually Arica helped me overcome that fear and become a baby washer.

I watched Arica so many time gently wash the shampoo out of Braden's hair careful to avoid getting any water or shampoo in his eyes. I watched her do it again recently and she hasn't lost her touch. She is soft and gentle and ever so caring.

When I am at the controls the description is more fast and shaky. I have never been able to keep the water out of Braden's eyes. I have tried and tried for Braden's sake. Eventually I just started going for the quickest solution. My reasoning was that Braden was going to get water in his eyes no matter what so the quicker I finished the better.

This method has worked out pretty well in my opinion. As you can see below my careless non-nurturing method of hair rinsing has helped develop a fearless little bath tub warrior.

A Japanese Grandma

Arica, Braden and I enjoyed a simple pleasure of life last night. It was so simple and so enjoyable that it almost defies any possible explanation.

Ours is an instant gratification society. We have everything we ever need right at our fingertips at all times. We have access to everything online. We have games, movies, recorded shows on the DVR. There is an endless array of entertainment vehicles at our disposal.

I sometimes even find myself hurrying to get to everything I want to enjoy. Hurry up so we can watch the Netflix movie that came in today. Hurry up so we can get to our TV shows before I fall asleep. Hurry. Hurry. Hurry.

It is so easy now to skip out on simple conversation with family and friends.  It seems that being neighborly is often a thing of the past as well. We hurry to our next meeting or the next event on our busy social calendar. This is how we live our lives.

We had a wonderful reminder last night of what can be truly joyful in life. Our family was invited to a cookout at our next door neighbor Jim's house. He lives alone. He has lived in the U.S. for over 30 years while all his family remains in Japan. This past week Jim's brother and his brother's wife have been visiting. Our neighbor and friend wanted to thank us for feeding his animals by having us over.

It was simply a wonderful evening. Jim and his family speak very little English, but it was a lot of fun to talk with them about their lives and experiences anyway. They were so kind and the food was so good.

Jim's brother broke out the harmonica and played several songs after dinner. We all laughed and sang along as Braden danced. Braden played with the cat and made a new friend in Jim's sister in-law. She was like his Japanese Grandma.

Japanese Grandma spoke zero English, but Braden loved her anyway. He grabbed her by the hand and led her off to play. Small children can certainly teach us a lesson in these situations about seeing the heart of a person rather than their outside appearance. The language of caring and love is much more important than English or Japanese.

During this entire time no TV, radio, or other modern entertainment device was ever turned on. There was no texting, no facebook, not even a simple phone call.

We were all so deeply involved in a wonderful conversation that it would have taken a tornado siren to drag us away anyway. I hope as Braden gets older we can continue to find ways to teach him about the joy of meeting people and the joy of seeing other cultures.

As life gets faster and faster in the years to come I think it will be even more important to remember how to slow down, simplify life, and get in touch with one another.

Digital Memories

In this digital age all new families have an enormous collection of pictures of their children. Ours already number in the thousands. It is even feasible to have a picture of every day of a child's life. We will never forget our children's faces and how they changed over the years. Neither will we forget any of the important moments in their lives because they will all be recorded and stored on hard drives, CDs, and DVDs.

But what about all those other moments? Will we still remember to cherish every little moment whether we have camera in hand or not?  Can our minds, now trained to look through picture after picture for our favorite experiences, still contain memories of their own?  Will we throw aside the crutch from time to time to view things through our minds eye?

I was thinking about this a few days ago when I was giving Braden a bath. Actually the bathing was done, and we were playing. Braden has a big box of those foam letters and numbers that stick to the tub and the tile. We use them to learn letters and sounds. Sometimes we stick them on Braden. This night we were throwing them at the tiled shower wall trying to get them to stick.

Braden was humming them about 60 mph and I was collecting a few of his rebounds as they came screaming by my ears. I was using a letter throwing technique that I learned from Arica the night before when we did the same thing. I was spinning the letters as I tossed them, trying to balance the strength of my throw. The toss has to be hard enough to make the letters stick, but soft enough so they don't bounce off.

While doing this I wondered if I would ever tell Braden about the times we spent throwing our ABC's at the bathroom wall. I wondered if I would ever tell him about the three weeks we spent feeding turkeys and raccoons for our Japanese neighbor. Will I share with him how many minutes we stood at the storm door just to look at "Daddy Tuck" parked in the road. Which of these seemingly innocent things will become memories of my own.

You never know which memories are destined to become lasting. You never know when you are living in a moment that will transcend time. Some moments actually become part of who you are forever. These moments aren't always on vacation or at birthday parties. They don't all occur at Christmas or Easter.  You never know when they will come so you don't always have your camera ready.

I think the key is to slow down and enjoy every moment. I hope I can learn to better live in the moment and enjoy exactly what I am doing with Braden and Arica. My impatience is certain to cost me many special times if left unchecked. I plan to keep working on that because I don't want to miss any opportunity to form lasting memories. As long as my mind stays sharp I plan to remember some of these little things to share as stories in the future.

And in case my memory goes I sure am glad that I have this blog.

Fruit and Flower Anniversary

I have used this blog to tell the story of How We Met. I have also been sentimental on this occasion in the past. I always feel that my words are hopelessly weak and fruitless in any attempt to describe how I feel about Arica. I am not skilled enough to put such deep and passionate emotions on paper.

How can anyone with a little corner of the internet adequately proclaim their love by posting a couple hundred words that will be read mostly by people they have never met. Furthermore, why would I do that?

In the past I have felt that it was a good tribute to my wife. I felt it must feel good for her to receive such words in much the same way it feels good for a woman to receive flowers in front of her co-workers. I am sure Arica enjoyed the kind words, but wouldn't they be better suited to go straight from my mouth into her ears.

On that note I think I will take the romantic post I have waiting in my drafts section and put it on a real piece of paper. Then I will either give Arica that piece of paper or read it to her by candlelight or maybe even tattoo it on my arm.

Either way this year there will be no posturing on a blog. I will share only with my beloved wife how I truly feel. After four years of dealing with me she certainly could stand a romantic gesture.

Before ending this post I want to share a couple stories about our wedding day. That day before the ceremony my little cousin, serving as the flower girl, asked her mom several times where the princess was. She would also say she wanted to see the princess.This innocent little girl was talking about my bride to be. She was spot on with her description. Arica looked absolutely beautiful that day, just like a princess. And she has been an absolute princess every day since that. Not just in her looks either. She is just as beautiful in her heart.

Later on our wedding day, at the reception, one of my friends Dad's made another insightful comment about my new wife. As the wedding video went around this man had his David Spade in Tommy Boy moment. He was several beers into the night when he proclaimed to the camera, "Arica, you must need glasses because you are way too pretty for Robert."

So here she is the princess that is way too good looking for me. I can't say that I disagree. Happy Anniversary Arica!

Gary Busey on Moms

As a blogger that writes solely to record his life so some day in the future the aliens will know I was here, I find it necessary to write about all the important happening in my life. That includes posting about major anniversaries and holidays. Sunday is one of those days, Mother's Day. I wanted to write something about this day for Mom's, but I wasn't sure what angle to take. Then I was inspired by Gary Busey.

I have always enjoyed Busey-isms since I first heard him explain that GONE meant Getting Over Negative Energy. Granted Mr. Busey had a motorcycle accident that resulted in some brain damage so I shouldn't get enjoyment out of his predicament. His hilarious self proclaimed Busey-isms however, are just too good not to enjoy.

As a change in pace from my normal holiday praises I thought I would come up with an Otter-ism defining the word Mother or better yet Mom. Short words make me more comfortable. That should be easy enough, and it will be something completely new for this space.

I began by searching the online thesaurus for synonyms starting with M for every word my feeble mind could find relevant to my purpose. I was struggling to find the right fit. It seemed that there just weren't enough descriptive or powerful words that started with M.

Then it occurred to me why I was having trouble. The most powerful word I know starting with the letter M is the word Mother itself.  What other word conjures up so many powerful feelings? What other word is synonymous with nurturing, caring, patience, kindness, and love?  It can also bring about thoughts of discipline and protection.  Maybe the word Mother reminds you of apple pie or your favorite casserole.  Simply put the words Mother and Mom mean a great deal to everyone everywhere.

Who am I to try and give even greater meaning to such a powerful word by using a short descriptive phrase. I am certainly not a great wordsmith who can use the English language as a powerful tool to describe moms everywhere. In fact it was probably a little arrogant of me to even try. So I will move on confident in the belief that there is nothing I could come up with that will say more than the word Mom says on its own.  Mom's are just that special.

To the special Mom's in my life I wish a very Happy Mother's Day. I of course mean my mother and Braden's Mom. Arica might not be my mother, but I certainly still celebrate Mother's Day with her because being a great mother to Braden is one of the greatest gifts she can ever give me. And if you have read this blog even a few times you know that she is indeed a great mother.

To all the other Mother's that read my Life of a New Dad I hope you have a great Mother's Day too.

MOM
Minder Of Mankind

Goodbye Corporate America, Hello Finger Painting

Today is a celebratory day at our house. Arica will start her new job this morning as a teacher at our church's preschool.  This new job is not only an opportunity to be near Braden when he starts there in June, but also an opportunity for Arica to finally enjoy her work.

She dutifully went back to the bank to try and help out our family. She tried to deal with all the things that had bothered her about the bank before. She was hopeful that these things would go away, or at least she could tolerate them in order to help our family financially. I am very grateful for her efforts, but her happiness is much more important than a few extra dollars. As many of you probably know, "if Momma ain't happy, nobody's happy."

Arica says, "I would rather deal with screaming kids than screaming adults any day."

So with that my wife is off to the world of coloring and diapers. She is leaving behind the world of deposit slips and overdrafts. For fun let's examine some of the other changes she might experience.

Banking: Getting yelled at because you ask for an ID
Teaching: Being asked if you want to see my picture

Banking: Getting asked by seemingly competent adults to fill out deposit slips for them
Teaching: Getting asked by adorable kids to help color a blue duck

Banking: Putting up with people's crap
Teaching: Putting up with kids crap filled diapers

Banking: Eating lunch hurriedly on a 30 minute lunch break
Teaching: Eating at tiny little tables and pretending to be a giant

Banking: Always worrying about rules and audits
Teaching: Always worrying about sharing and napping

Banking: Only worrying about money
Teaching: Only worrying about having fun

I think that last one sums it up pretty well. When money is involved there is never a relaxing moment. Everyone is on edge all the time. Half the customers think you are out to get them. Let's face it. The public is just a little bit less than courteous anyway. Now with the kids the most important thing is smiling and having a good time. Sure they can wear you out, but better them than Johnny overdraft or Susie hot check.

Good luck Arica. I hope you have a great day.

Now Braden Likes...

I wrote a post called Braden Likes back in September. Someone suggested at the time that I revisit the subject as Braden got older. Well he will be 18 months old next week so now seems like a good time.  I have edited the previous entries and added a few more to create Now Braden Likes...

Daddy likes Pearl Jam
Mommy likes Lady Antebellum
Now Braden still likes any music but he loves the Barney song

Mommy likes baseball
Daddy likes baseball, basketball, and football
Now Braden still likes any ball but I think he likes basketball and baseball best

Daddy likes steak medium rare
Mommy likes steak medium rare
Now Braden likes chicken but still hasn't tried steak

Mommy likes to bake
Daddy likes to cook
Now Braden likes to carry spoons around the house

Daddy likes any kind of fish
Mommy likes fried fish
Now Braden likes fish sticks

Mommy likes Diet Pepsi
Daddy likes Mt. Dew
Now Braden likes whole milk and juice

Daddy likes flip flops
Mommy likes all shoes
Now Braden loves all shoes. He won't let you take them off.

Mommy likes shopping
Daddy likes fishing
Now Braden likes going outside. I think that is why he always keeps his shoes on.

Daddy likes to sit on the couch
Mommy likes to lay on the couch
Now Braden likes to climb on the couch

Mommy likes to carry her phone everywhere
Daddy likes to carry his wallet everywhere
Now Braden likes to carry his monkey everywhere

Daddy likes t-shirts
Mommy likes dresses
Now Braden is OK with putting on clothes because it might mean he can go outside.

Mommy likes Goodfellas
Daddy likes The Godfather
Now Braden prefers Barney to gangster movies and everything else for that matter

Daddy likes showers
Mommy likes showers and baths
Now Braden still likes baths

Mommy likes dogs
Daddy likes dogs
Now Braden tolerates dogs because he has to in order to go outside

Daddy loves Braden
Mommy loves Braden
Now Braden still loves us too

Happy Birthday Arica

Any married person can tell you that a marriage is a series of ups and downs. It takes continued work on both people's part to make any marriage successful.  If you are truly blessed then you can grow as a person as a result of these challenges. To make that possible you need a special husband or wife.

I am lucky enough to have that type of wife. She is definitely a giver and not a taker. In everything she does she is giving to our family. Even in what seem like the most difficult of times she is giving to us all.  She has given me strength. She has given me courage. And as an old friend once remarked before we were even married, she has softened my heart. You can't do any better than finding someone who enriches your life in such a way.

I can seriously say that Arica has been more influential in my life than anyone I have ever known. That is crazy considering when we met I was pretty well stuck in my ways for better or worse. She proves it is possible to teach an old dog new tricks. I could never thank her enough for opening my eyes so that I can see the world and its people in a much more wonderful way.

Because I have found someone so special to me today is more important than I can express. Today I celebrate the day Arica entered the world.  This day a few years back made everything that is my life today possible. So on this happy April 27th I am not celebrating just another year added to Arica's age. I am not celebrating the passage of one more year on her life's journey.

I am celebrating the day that made all the joy and happiness in my life possible. What a truly great day this is.

Happy Birthday Arica! I love you!

Don't Call It a Comeback

I am sure that at least a handful of people noticed that I was absent all last week. Don't worry I am not trapped under a cloud of volcanic ash. I have not been incarcerated or injured either. Last week was just a bad week at our house.

Let me ask you a question. What do day cares, preschools, baby Woodstock, and a meeting of the very very young republicans have in common?

They are all perfect breeding grounds for terrible debilitating sickness. Any place that more than one toddler is gathered is more suitable for an evil virus or bacteria than the men's bathroom at the Waffle House. Germs will always prefer a nice blanket at the local preschool over a petri dish in the lab of Louis Pasteur.

Well that concept struck our home and apparently every other home for kids in Braden's class last week.  Braden had a stomach virus for about 7 days. The only thing he could keep down were crackers, water, and pedialyte. Everything else came back with a vengeance. By the end of last week he resembled a stick baby rather than his normally chubby self. Braden's teacher said only a couple kids escaped the outbreak unscathed. Such is life with child care.

Arica caught the virus too. She was sick for about the same amount of time. She got sick a day later, but is just now getting over it.

After taking a day off to help with sickness my remaining free time was spent studying. I finally took my Professional Engineer Licensing exam on Friday. Months of studying culminated in one all day marathon testing session. I am glad it is over.

I think I did rather well on the exam, but I won't know for sure for quite a while. Apparently it takes the testing company 12 weeks to grade our exams. They only give us one day to take the test, but they can grade it for 25% of a year. Thanks for getting in a hurry guys.

Anyway I am back. Hopefully the family is well, and we can get back to providing you the details of our wonderfully exciting lives. I know you are on the edge of your seat, but you will have to wait until next time for any more juicy details.

Leader of a Toddler Gang

It's time for an update on Operation Child Care. Starting her new job is still tough for Arica. There are certain difficulties at work that have made her first week challenging. Who would have ever thought that a huge corporation was mismanaged? It's a real shocker!

Of course being away from Braden is still an arduous task for her as well. I am sure it will continue to be hard for the foreseeable future. It will eventually get easier with time.

Braden seems to be adjusting well. The only real hiccup came Monday night when for some unknown reason he decided to throw one of his all night parties. I ended up watching The Simpsons with him at 3 am. At that moment in my sleep deprived mind The Simpsons counted as a cartoon for children.

The next morning Braden was very upset when Arica dropped him off at school. We were worried that he would be getting his daily report marked as "fussy" for that day.

We were wrong.

According to the teachers he was a perfect child all day. They said that he is super good. The teachers also said most kids that have never been to child care cry all day for about a week. Braden, however, does not cry at all. He just plays all day. It would appear that our son is quite the social animal.

I am proud of him for being a good boy. It makes me happy to know that he can adjust quickly, and that he likes playing with other kids.

I am not surprised though. I always expected him to excel. I imagine him as leader of a little toddler gang. He is the like the godfather of his class. I am certain he is a benevolent ruler rather than a war time chief. After all he is willing to share food, drink, and pacifiers with me and Arica at any time.

So as we reach hump day on week one I say hail to the new King of Toddler Care.

First Day of Pre-School

Today is a huge day in our home. It is a life changing day. Things will be different now.

For 16 months I have been the first person up in the morning. Each day I tried, rather unsuccessfully, to quietly get ready for work. I snuck out of the house leaving Aria and Braden behind.

This morning I was the last one up. When I roused from my slumber Arica was fully dressed. She was finishing up Braden's breakfast, and she had some muffins in the oven. We had been trying to mentally prepare for this day for weeks. Now it was here. It felt strange.

Today we took Braden to his first day of school, and Arica went back to work.

Unfortunately I had to get used to spending time away from Braden a long time ago. Sometimes I even spent weeks away. During these times it was always comforting to know my little boy was with his Mommy. So this change is a little difficult for me.

It is much more difficult for Arica, and understandably so. She has been with Braden every day for 16 months. I have tried all morning to imagine what it must be like for her, and I can't.  I have no idea how hard this must be for such a wonderful mother. I do know she is hurting and will need support. It broke my heart this morning to see her so sad. I will spend a lot of time praying for her comfort today and in the coming days. I know the best comfort for her will be picking up the little man after work today. That will be a great way to end a difficult day.

I know we are doing the right thing.  More income will allow us to a lot of things we need to do for Braden. It will give him a better future.  He is at a highly recommended Child Development Center. He will learn things and interact with kids. Braden will benefit from this change in many ways.

Still it's tough, especially for Arica. I hope all of you good people will remember us for the next few days as we adjust to a new lifestyle. We will certainly come out stronger in the end, but making a big change requires a little time for adjustment.

As for now I know both Arica and I can't wait until time to see Braden again this afternoon.  And as Tom Petty says, "Waiting is the hardest part."

Telling Your Toddler No

I have been struggling with an area of parenting lately. It has really come to the forefront since Braden started walking in September.  As you can see it has taken me a while to get a grip on the situation.

As parents we always have to make disciplinary decisions. This is not the most important thing in the life of a toddler, but the discipline scale  grows exponentially over the years. A newborn needs zero discipline. A high school student needs a lot.  So where does a 15 month old toddler fit on this scale.

Since Braden started walking he has been into everything.  I was constantly following him around saying no, no, no, no.  At first this seemed like the right thing to do.  He is a smart kid. He will learn what no means and stop doing these things.

WRONG!

Yes he is still clearly smart. Yes he knows what no means. It is actually one of is favorite words. He is constantly telling me no while vigorously shaking his head. Still my word is not the absolute law of the house in his mind like I expected it to be.

As time went by it was lovingly pointed out to me by my wife that I was saying no a lot.  I was determined for Braden to mind so I just kept on with the nightly parade of negatives even after the warning. When I said no he would learn that it meant no.  He would stay out of our things and be a good boy.

Braden continued to ignore my suggestions fairly regularly. I found myself burdened by the worry about his behavior.  Would he mind in the future? Am I raising him right? If I give in will I be spoiling him?

Then I noticed that Braden listened to Arica better than he did me.  She says no too, but she has a different way about it.  She also spends a lot of time each day encouraging the little man rather than constantly hounding him. Braden probably feels more comfortable with her rather than his ever annoying No No Daddy.

As I watched Braden play Saturday night something that Arica had been trying to get through to me finally clicked.  I am spending way too much time trying to boss Braden around, and not nearly enough time having fun with my son.

Braden is just a toddler, and he is always a good boy. He doesn't need to have a drill sergeant to keep him in line. He is still exploring the world and learning at an incredible rate.  If he kept his hands off everything like I wanted he wouldn't ever learn much.  After all what does it hurt if he plays with a few things as long as they aren't dangerous.

Since then we have had as much fun as possible. I know Arica and I will both need our disciplinarian hats in the future. To tell the truth we still need them every day. There are certain things that are off limits.  Unsafe or irreplaceable things should be off limits, but Braden should not be denied his right to curiously explore the world just because his Dad wants to be boss.

Sorry Braden. I promise to lighten up and have more fun from now on. I don't want to miss any more of these amazing toddler times being the No No Guy. Love Daddy.

A New Reason to Love Being a Dad

There are so many obvious reasons that fatherhood is great. There are the mushy things like hearing Dada for the first time, or seeing your baby smile when you come home.

Other less sentimental perks are an excuse to play with toys or watch cartoons.  I probably spend an hour a day shooting hoops on Braden's 3 foot basketball goal while watching various animated fare.

The added exercise gained from chasing a wayward toddler could be counted as a plus. The huge mountains of candy the kid acquires from loving family and friends is a perk as well.

Some might even think that having a little guy you can train to feed the dogs and mow the yard is pretty cool.

Yesterday I experienced one of my personal favorite benefits of fatherhood.  Several times a week Braden gets eggs at lunch. This is usually his first meal of the day so he gets breakfast. Sometimes those eggs come with pancakes.  A batch of pancakes contains far too many cakes for the little guy. Have you figured out where I am going yet?

On those days that my lunch time magically coincides with Braden's first meal I get pancakes and eggs for lunch.  This glorious lunch is of course courtesy of my awesome wife. It is also helped by the fact that Braden is not yet able to eat more than 2 or 3 pancakes. Breakfast for lunch is one of the perks I hadn't expected, and I am enjoying it greatly.

Of course the unexpected perks come up every day. Like I said way back in this more serious post, "There is no way you can ever understand what it is like (fatherhood) until it happens to you." You never know what kind of joy your kids will bring into your life.

When that joy manifests itself as a scrumptious breakfast, I make sure to bring my appetite.

Happy Valentines Day

You can count me as one of those guys who never really understood Valentines Day. It seemed like a corporate created holiday to sell cards, flowers, candy, and stuffed animals. Why do we need a day to say I love you?  Shouldn't we be doing that every day? Do we really need cliched gifts and Hallmark memorabilia shoved down our throats?

I have to say that I've changed my mind a bit on the subject.  With a baby/toddler in our lives the marriage relationship doesn't get as much attention as it deserves.  The cycle is work, child, chores rinse repeat.  By the time Braden goes to bed there are only a couple hours left in the day for me and Arica.  By then we are worn out, especially Arica.  How she keeps up with that whirling ball of energy we call Braden is a mystery to me.  I would be a more capable replacement for a brain surgeon than for her.  I could never do her job.

That is why I am now glad that there is a Valentines Day.  It is nice to have an extra day to remember Arica and all that she does for me and Braden.  I wish I could say that I treat her like every day is Valentines Day, but that is just not true.  Because of all she does and all I don't do, I am really happy to have another special day this year to show her how much I care.

So with that I want to say Happy Valentines Day Arica!  I love you.