Hunting For Unicorns

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post about Snook being a hippie. I intended to follow that post with another ever so interesting post about cartoons. Unfortunately even the best laid cartoon plans get derailed sometimes. The topic is late but not forgotten.

Many of today's cartoons do something that bothers me a little a bit.  They ask questions.  The little cartoon people stare at you out of the TV.  They ask their question.  Then there is silence as they stare at you and wait for your answer.  It freaks me out a bit. Who can focus on properly answering a question when a cartoon mouse is giving you the stink eye.

When I was a kid the closest thing we got to interaction with our cartoons was when the Road Runner would look toward you and say beep! beep!  Now Dora, Mickey Mouse, The Little Einsteins, and practically every other cartoon are constantly quizzing the kids.

I can see the obvious benefits of this concept.  The kids love to participate, and who can blame them. Trivia is a lot of fun, and until Alex Trebek figures out how to make millions off a kindergarten jeopardy tournament this is pretty much all the kids are going to get.  Don't count out Trebek though. He is a crafty one. The future kindergarten tourney might go something like this.

Trebek: This ruminant's milk can be used on Froot Loops and it often makes the sound moo.
Kid1: My uncle Johnny has a cow. It's name is Elsie.
Trebek: Judges?....sorry we can't accept that.
Kid2: Mr. Startrek, do you know Luke Skywalker?
Trebek: That is incorrect. We were looking for "What is a cow?"

Trivia aside I have one major problem with all these cartoon queries other than being weirded out. They don't always listen to your answer. Once the Little Einsteins asked me and Braden if we wanted to help them find the purple unicorn to save the woodland orchestra. I said NO! I do not now nor do I ever want to help anyone find a purple unicorn.

These little hooligans just ignored me and jumped right in their rocket ship and started carrying on about adagio and moderato.  I guess it doesn't really matter what the kids think to these arrogant TV stars. The cartoon bullies just do whatever they want. They are teaching our children that their opinions don't really matter.

No one is going to tell my son that his opinion doesn't matter. I don't care if they have their own TV show, their own rocket, or their very own magical kingdom in Florida.  If these cartoons are going to insist on asking hundreds of questions a day then the very least they can do is listen to the kids answers.  

And staring isn't polite either.

Snook is a Hippie

In the coming days I have a couple posts that I would like to share covering a very important topic, cartoons. One of the hidden joys or burdens, depending on how you look at it, of having kids is the reintroduction of cartoons into your life.

The last time I was watching cartoons on a regular basis Bugs Bunny was still king.  There was the Road Runner, Tom and Jerry, Mickey Mouse and others as well. Mickey is still around, of course, but now he is the ultra digitized and computerised version. He looks nothing like the Mickey of old. Pooh and other old favorites are still hanging around too, but for the most part there is a whole new cartoon world out there these days.

Now I am not here to cover important topics like why Mickey wears pants and no shirt while Donald Duck wears a shirt and no pants. No, I will leave that to the pros.

Today I am here to build a case against Snook. For those of you who don't know Snook is a big sloth that hangs around on PBS every day at noon on a show called "It's a Big Big World." Today we will prove once and for all that he is a hippie and he is using his show on PBS as a platform to pass along his tree hugging ways to children everywhere. 

For starters Snook's voice, unkempt hair, and laid back attitude are enough to convince me he is a hippie. But if I have learned anything from hours of drinking beer with a lawyer it's that you can't get a judge to convict anyone on looks alone. You need facts.

Let me state my case.

• I just heard Snook yesterday say "Don't you like to celebrate trees?" I am serious. That is what he said. The case should be closed now, but I will go on just to humor the legal eagles out there.
• The tree dwellers sing a song called "You and me are the keepers of the tree."
• Snook and his band of merry men and women also sing a recycling song that goes something like this "The forest is your friend so use it again and again and again."
• On two occasions I have seen Snook out in the real world talking to a guy with a ZZ top beard. They talked once about a compost heap and once about growing organic carrots.
• I have heard Snook implore his minions to "help the tree" on a few occasions. I say help is just another H word substituted for Hug.
• They live in the world tree.  Not the oak tree. Not the pine tree. Not the Mangrove tree. Not even the rubber tree. The World Tree.

Don't get me wrong, teaching children not to litter and how to recycle are good messages. I love the outdoors, and I hope we can keep some nature around for a long time. I am just a little concerned about this guy in a sloth suit pushing a little too much of the hippie counter culture.

So Mr. Snook I'll be watching you. If you ever show up on my TV with a tie-dyed shirt then our relationship is over.

Stealing A Line From Classic Winnie the Pooh

I wrote a post a long time ago about the presence of Winnie the Pooh in our home.  While Pooh has become less visible lately he still lurks in some unsuspecting places.  Braden has a little Pooh basketball goal in the bath tub.  Last night during bath time I felt compelled by Pooh's plastic mug to start singing the Winnie the Pooh song.

Everybody sing with me.

Winnie the Pooh. Winnie the Pooh. Tubby little Cubby all stuffed with fluff. He's Winnie the Pooh. Winnie the Pooh. Willy nilly silly ole bear.

Now that we have that out of the way back to the meat of this little post.  After singing the song I was reminded of the classic Pooh cartoons.  That is one of the reasons I like Pooh. He is older than me.

It's funny what things were said and done in old cartoons or books. We have the original Curious George book. In that story George smokes a pipe.  An author would be drawn and quartered for such an offense in today's society.

As for Pooh it was the matter of poking fun at the less intelligent. Many of Pooh's classic cartoons started with this line, "Being a bear of very little brain..." For example they might say "Being a bear of very little brain Pooh got lost while he was out looking for honey."

I thought it would be fun to apply that line to many of our other cartoon favorites on this Friday afternoon.  I hope you enjoy.

• Being a dinosaur of very little brain when Barney came to life he wasted his time singing nonsensical songs with the neighborhood children rather than living it up.
• Being a girl of very little brain Dora was always lost and asking her viewers for help reading her map.
• Being a tiger of very little brain Tigger spelled his name T-I-double guh-er when everyone knows there is only one "guh" in Tiger.
• Being a sloth of very little brain Snook was always asking an old turtle named Madge stupid questions.
• Being a sponge of very little brain Spongebob lived in a pineapple under the sea rather than seeking out more luxurious accommodations.
• Being a mouse of very little brain...Scratch that. Mickey must have been pretty smart to take over the world like he has.

Being a blogger of very little brain, this is the best I could come up with today. I will try to do better next week.

The Evolution of a Dinosaur Named Barney

Much has been written about TV and its effects on children.  Should they watch? How much should they watch? The debate rages on.  I think there are plenty of educational TV shows out there that can benefit children. They shouldn't watch too much of course. I certainly hope Braden would rather play outside despite the fact that this seems like a dying pastime. Anyway he should at least watch less TV than his Dad.

I never really worried about Braden watching TV because he wouldn't sit still long enough. He runs and runs and runs through the house all day long. He has been doing this since he started walking in September.  As time went by he would occasionally stop in front of the TV when something caught his eye or more often his ear.  Sometimes he would stop and watch odd things like Dirty Jobs or the Bourne Identity.  No matter what was on TV he would always stop when he heard singing.

As time went by part of his daily routine would be to watch PBS in the morning a little with his Mom. She was learning what shows he liked and watching them with him sometimes.  Most days he watches PBS or other cartoons when he gets up. I need coffee. Braden needs cartoons. Whatever gets you going.

Other days the TV stays on cartoons just in case Braden runs by and decides to stop.  When you have an active toddler in the house encouraging him to stop from time to time is necessary for your sanity.  It is better he stops for educational PBS shows than for ice cream or playing with scissors.

The first show Arica noticed that Braden liked was "It's a Big Big World."  This PBS show comes on at noon every day. I have been coming home for lunch every day to eat a sandwich since long before Braden arrived. Now along with the sandwich I work in time to play with Braden and hopefully help Arica out. During these lunches I have seen the big world quite a few times.

Arica says the main character, a sloth named Snook, sounds like he is high.  I have to agree. Snook and his friends also live in the "world tree" and do many environmentally themed shows. One show was about helping the tree.  Helping is just another "h" word to substitute for hugging. I think Snook is a hippie.

What comes right after the tree hugging sloth named Snook?  Barney!!

A lot of people have bad mouthed the purple dinosaur over the years, but as far as I can tell he is a dinosaur sensation. So far Barney is cool with me.  We will see how that changes as I watch him millions of times.

Braden loves Barney. Sometimes when he is in a terrible mood and crying about everything, I will say "let's go watch Barney." When Braden hears this he runs straight for the TV and stands there staring at it. Another time I use this tactic is when he is holding on to his mom crying to be held while she is busy with her hair or makeup or cooking.  When he is like that nothing will deter him, except maybe Barney.

Using these tactics has taught me a lesson though.  Some idiots that make these DVDs put long promos and ads before the main menu. You can't fast forward or skip ahead. You have to watch several of these before you can get to Barney. So be sure to never ask your kid if they want to watch Barney unless the DVD is queued up and ready.

Otherwise they will not stand there all mellowed out like our buddy Snook. They will scream and yell until they hear:

Barney is a Dinosaur from our imagination.....