Scooby Doo Crazy

Braden has gone completely Scooby Doo crazy. He watches Scooby Doo cartoons all the time. He would watch them all day if you let him. I didn't see this one coming at all. He has been a Pixar Devotee for a long time. Cars and then Toy Story. He still loves Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. But how do you jump from those things to Scooby Doo?

It must be the monsters. Braden is always talking about monsters. When he watches the show he points out every monster and tells us when they are trying to get Scooby Doo. Yesterday afternoon we were playing outside and Braden just started running around with his hands in attack position growling and saying, "I monster!" From that I think it's safe to say that he likes monsters.

I guess he takes after his Mom on this one. I don't like horror movies. I don't like haunted houses. I have never even liked Halloween, until we had Braden of course. It's fun with him. My point is that I don't like being scared. I don't get the point of that whole thing. Fear is not a enjoyable emotion as far as I'm concerned.

Arica on the other hand loves it. She loves scary movies. She loves Halloween, haunted houses, roller coasters, and any other adrenaline fueled scare tactic. She would never sky dive or anything like that but she enjoys a moderate does of scary.

Braden is the same way. He loves for us to scare him. When we do he runs to the other parent, hugs their neck tightly and says "I scared Momma!" or "I scared Daddy!" So as much as everyone keeps telling me he looks and acts just like me, I know that is not completely true.

Braden likes monsters just like his mother. For me that means I will have to become more comfortable with scary things. By scary things I mean Jason, Freddy, Dracula, werewolves and the like. That is where I draw the line though because there are a lot of scary thing that I refuse to include in my life.

For example, there is not enough liquor on earth to make me comfortable with Lifetime Movies or Oprah.

Man vs Child

I absolutely love survival shows. I have seen every episode of Man vs. Wild, Survivor Man, and even the new Dual Survival. Long ago I was a boy scout and learned many of the typical survival skills from that experience. I think maybe I love the survival thing so much because it seems like the basest manly instinct, the ability to survive in the wild. I know I could do it for a couple days around here in my home environment, and I would love to try a very watered down version for a weekend some time. Survival in the cold, however, is not for me.

Watching all these shows sometimes makes me think about my life as a dad in terms of a survival situation. Sometimes it feels like being lost in the dessert with no way out anyway.

So I have questions. In a parenting survival situation what would be the most essential survival tools? What would be the best plan of action? What are the survival basics?

Well instead of pondering my life away I decided to put some ideas together. So here is the first revision of my Man vs Child survival guide.

1. The boy scout motto is "Be prepared." This is the best advice for any situation. The problem is that no one plans to be in a survival situation. It just happens. Bear Grylls always carries his trusty knife. Usually it includes a flint for starting fire as well, although sometimes he leaves that behind for the sake of TV. So what is the essential survival tool for a parent? What tool is equally as important at the mall and at the park? My answer is Diapers and Wipes. You don't want to be caught anywhere without a way to get rid of poop. Forget food and water. Go straight for the waste disposal tools.
2. Often times you find yourself in places that are less than baby friendly like a restaurant. Just as Les Stroud would scavenge his broken down dirt bike for wire, gasoline, and insulation, we parents must use what is available to us. The restaurant menu can work as a book in a really tight spot. Straws can serve as swords. Sugar packets can work as building blocks or footballs. Use people in the neighboring booth for a peek a boo game. Pull out an ink pen and let the kid draw on something if you must. Remember THIS IS SURVIVAL! Use anything you can.
3. Now that we have covered poop and entertainment, lets look at food and drink. In a typical survival situation the priorities are water, food, and shelter. But for children in an unfamiliar environment clean butts and entertainment often come first. Because if they aren't happy then all hell breaks loose. And once that happens all is lost. If you have a newborn then you always have food with you. We have a toddler. We don't carry around stuff for him anymore. Sometimes you have to tide the kid over until you find the next food source (read McDonald's). Crackers are complimentary and yummy. You can find free cookie samples at the bakery. In a survival situation you just have to know where to look. If you happen to be in a grocery store I strongly advise opening a box of food for the kid. Don't feed your child fresh fruit from the store though. That's just stealing.
4. Finally we come to shelter. Always be prepared for the possibility of a nap. If the kid starts falling asleep be ready to drop all your gear and make camp for the night. You can sit down on any available furniture. The mall sofas are nice. They can work as a temporary shelter while your survival partner, if you have one, continues the search for food or clothing. There is also the possibility that in a napping situation you will have to get out the emergency flares and signal for help. I've been in spots where setting the store on fire seemed like my best option. When you find yourself in that kind of predicament you need to get back to base camp where it's more cozy. On those days just be thankful you knew how to survive so you could live to play another day.

These are just the basics. The key is adaptability. Every situation is different, and every child is different. Just remember to be prepared, use the things around you, and keep your cool. Never lose your head in a survival situation. That can only lead to disaster.

Whether you get out unscathed or not depends totally on your parenting survival skills. I suggest you have your own little survival guide tailored to your natural environment. Like I said before, being prepared is your best weapon. Because once you are at a school play with no toys, no food, and no escape plan, it's too late.

Sugar Bowl Crash

I had something else planned to write about today, but the events of life often change our plans. Of course this is about the devastating Sugar Bowl loss that was handed to the Razorbacks and the entire state of Arkansas last night. All around the state today people sit at their places of work and blankly stare at the walls with thoughts of what if?

What if Joe Adams could catch a football?

What if Mallet hadn't thrown the ball directly to a DE in the final seconds of the game?

What if the Hogs could tackle Pryor?

What if the defense had recovered that fumble on OSU's first drive?

What if the DB's batted down one of those TD passes when they were in great position?

What if the Hogs had picked up the blocked punt and scored?

This type of speculation will go on until next fall. That is the curse of losing a bowl game. Most people can't get that taste out of their mouth until another game is played. But I'm writing today because that's just not me anymore. I still love the Razorbacks way too much. I still got very mad and may or may not have screamed obscenities when Mallet threw that last interception. I had trouble getting to sleep last night, and the first thing I thought of this morning was the loss.

Then I saw my beautiful wife. I knew she hadn't slept well last night. She's had a headache for about 36 hours straight. She said she was really tired. At that time football meant nothing. Arica is pregnant with two special little babies. She is struggling with feeling bad a lot of the time. All I wanted to do was help her feel better. So I just sat there and rubbed her back for a few minutes.

Then Braden, who stayed with his Grandma last night, came home. He was happily jabbering on about everything. Then he gave me a big hug and any lingering feelings of loss and pain caused by the football game vanished completely.

Before getting married and having a kid a loss like this would linger for weeks. At totally unexpected times the pain of losing would shoot down my spine. It wouldn't take much to set off the mourning cycle all over again, but now I don't have time for that.

It is a great blessing to have things in my life much more important than a football game. Today things go right back to normal. My main focuses are to help out Arica as best I can and play with my little boy. Those things bring true and complete joy that easily overcomes the pain of watching a team of people I've never met lose a football game on TV.

Yes I'm still a big fan, and I was extremely upset about the loss. But this is the part where escaping the carefree days of youth is a good thing. Now I have grown up responsibilities. I have things to occupy my mind other than wondering why Petrino called a straight drop back pass on 4th and 1.

Life is full of blessings. One of those blessings is the ability to enjoy sporting competition by participating or  by watching. A greater blessing though is the ability to share the joy of victory and to totally forget about the agony of defeat with my family.

Avatar Describes My Child

There are a few constants in my life. Greatest among them are Arica, Braden, and probably the TV. Since this is a blog about being a Dad it only makes sense that I would eventually compare Braden to TV. Well that day has come.

People never seem to understand why Arica and I have so little free time. They never understand why we say it is so tiring watching Braden. They don't understand why we need to have two parents around as often as possible. These people either raised or have only been around calm kids. They haven't been exposed to kids like Braden. That is the only answer. Because if they watched Braden for a few hours they would not only understand, but they would add us to their daily prayer list as well.

Thinking about this recently I came up with a comparison between watching different types of kids and watching TV. The first and oldest way to watch TV these days is what we now call standard definition TV. It is grainy. It's not to clear. SDTV is just there. SDTV kids are much the same. They are just there. They don't jump into your face. They aren't exceedingly vibrant or colorful. Maybe they are thinkers, and behave much like the statue of the same name. Regardless of the reason it is even possible to forget these kids are in the room at times.

The next type of TV viewing is high definition TV. This TV format has become so common that it is becoming the standard for TV watching. HDTV is made up of much more vivid colors and a clearer picture. It draws your attention and often times simply demands to be watched.  It is much harder to ignore HDTV. HDTV kids are just the same.

The newer type of TV entering the market is 3D TV. Watching TV or a movie in 3D is a much more interactive experience. The show leaps off the screen and right into your face. A 3D kid will do the same. You can't ignore them. They will just climb up in your lap and poke you in the face if you try.

Well Braden is even beyond 3D. I have decided watching him is like watching Avatar 3D in the movie theater. If you went to the theater to see James Cameron's creation then this analogy probably makes a lot more sense. I have never been more immersed in a movie before. It was colorful. It was full of action. And all of it seemed to happen right in my lap.

So there you have it. Watching Braden is like being attacked by flying multicolored dragon birds while giant blue people with magical ponytails try to pierce your heart with an arrow. Any questions?

Secret Snoopy Love

I have written about Braden watching Cars enough to make everyone sick. Recently he has toned that down a bit. He will change DVDs to Elmo or Shrek at some point most evenings. The main reason he does it is just because he likes to change the DVDs out. We let him do it, and he feels all grown up.

Despite all the talk about Cars, Braden actually has an affinity for some classics as well. He watches the Mickey Mouse club house every morning while eating his breakfast. That may not be a classic but Mickey himself is as classic as they come. From Steamboat Willie until now that mouse has been the man.

Braden calls Mickey "Dot Dog" because of the hot dog song and dance at the end of the show. He knows his name is Mickey but never calls him that. If I ask what Mickey says Braden will reply "Dot dot dog" in his best excited sing songy voice.

Braden has two stuffed Mickey's as well. One is about the same size as our little man. He calls him "Big Dot Dog". The other is about the size of my hand. He calls that one "Mo Dot Dog" as in more hot dog.

Braden sleeps with both of them every night along with his pal Monkey.

The other classic Braden loves would be a surprise to even the little man himself. He doesn't know it yet, but I am certain that he has a secret liking for Snoopy. I loved Snoopy as a kid so imagine how excited I was recently when I saw Braden imitating my favorite cartoon beagle.

John Ratzenberger Spans Generations

I have watched Cars so many times the past few weeks that I honestly was trying to explain to Arica last night some deeper meaning that I had attributed to the movie. That may have been the last straw, but with Braden acquiring a toy Doc and the Cars sound track over the weekend I probably still have a few hundred more viewings to go.

I promise to stop writing about our favorite family movie soon, but I have one more thought inspired by the animated talking automobiles today.

The topic of changes from generation to generation has been covered ad nauseum. No one needs me to tell them how much different our children's life will be from our own. We have all considered the disappearance of VCRs and eventually DVDs and CDs. We know about life before computers and cell phones. Certainly we are all aware that our children will consider us prehistoric dinosaurs when we try to explain to them our childhood.

This has been going on for the entire history of mankind. I am sure young Caveman Jr. once laughed at his Dad when he learned about Dad's life before the discovery of fire.

Today's generation gap spanning thought is about TV. Imagine that. I am talking about TV again.

During one of my myriad of recent Cars viewings I began thinking about John Ratzenberger who played the know it all mail man Cliff Clavin on Cheers. I love Cheers and I still watch reruns from time to time. I imagine it will be one of my staple old man shows someday when I reach that age which prohibits me from watching any new TV shows. It seems to happen to all old people. That's why someone invented TV Land.

When that happens to me Braden will walk into the room while I am watching Cheers. During one of Cliff's crazy stories he will get that look of sudden realization in his eyes and say, "Hey Dad, That's Mack!"

To which I will only elicit the groan of an old man who just instantly aged 20 more years.

Disney Pixar's Cars with Braden

During the past two weeks Braden has developed a new fascination. The fact that this fascination is supported by the TV should come as no surprise as he is my child. Lately Braden watches the Disney Pixar film Cars all the time. By all the time I mean it is on a continuous loop at our house from the time he comes home from school until the time he goes to bed. He plays and does other things, but Cars must be on at all times. When the movie is over Braden always suggests, “Mo Car.” If you think he is not watching and try to turn it off you will hear “I wa Car.” He cannot be deterred.

So I have watched Cars a few hundred times now it seems. Since Arica and Braden get home a few hours before me each day, Arica has seen it even more. I am happy to watch Cars rather than that purple dinosaur Braden used to watch so I try not to complain. Still it gets old after about the third straight viewing.

Here is a little play by play of our movie watching experience. Braden loves Mack, the truck that hauls Lightning McQueen from race to race. As soon as he comes on the screen Braden starts pointing and exclaiming, “Mack, Mack, Mack” until you respond. Then he waits a bit and does it again.

His love of the Mack truck reminds me of a saying a French colleague of mine once told me about. He said in France they have a saying that translates to "pretty as an American truck." At first that sounds ridiculous, but if you have seen the small ugly things that pass for big trucks in Europe you might understand. Our Eighteen wheelers are huge and covered in about 500 pounds of chrome. So Braden finding joy in a beautiful American Mack truck is an understandable thing. Plus it's huge and powerful and all boys like that.

Right after Mack makes his first appearance he and Lightning McQueen leave on a trip for California amidst Braden's exclamations of "MACK!" The song “Life is a Highway” plays at the start of this trip. Braden dances with this song every single time. He loves it. See for yourself.



After that song is over Mack eventually falls asleep and loses Lightning McQueen. When McQueen wakes up he storms off looking for Mack. During this time Braden is looking for Mack too. Then comes the train that McQueen has to beat to the railroad crossing. Even before the train appears Braden starts saying “choo choo.” He has the events in the story down pat at this point.

After that the Sheriff chases our friendly race car through the countryside. Then the movie cuts to a scene of the sleepy little town of Radiator Springs. To show how sleepy the town really is there is absolutely no sound during this part. It is in great contrast to the high speed chase that precedes the scene. Every time this happens Braden says “Uh-Oh” because he thinks the sound is broke. Then he gets the remote and gives it to either me or Arica to fix it.

This little sequence plays out at our house about 5 times a day. The rest of the movie is filled with naming a few characters like "mamer" or "Doc". Braden also has learned the word speed and can point out the Piston Cup or "tin cup" on sight. Who says you can't learn things from watching TV.

Braden likes Cars so much that when I woke him up on Tuesday morning the first thing he said to me was “I wa Car.” I tilted him back from my shoulder to discuss this with him and I noticed his eyes were only cracked open the tiniest bit. He was not even half awake yet. Still, in his sleepy haze, Braden knew that he wanted to watch a little bit of Cars to start his day.

Hunting For Unicorns

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post about Snook being a hippie. I intended to follow that post with another ever so interesting post about cartoons. Unfortunately even the best laid cartoon plans get derailed sometimes. The topic is late but not forgotten.

Many of today's cartoons do something that bothers me a little a bit.  They ask questions.  The little cartoon people stare at you out of the TV.  They ask their question.  Then there is silence as they stare at you and wait for your answer.  It freaks me out a bit. Who can focus on properly answering a question when a cartoon mouse is giving you the stink eye.

When I was a kid the closest thing we got to interaction with our cartoons was when the Road Runner would look toward you and say beep! beep!  Now Dora, Mickey Mouse, The Little Einsteins, and practically every other cartoon are constantly quizzing the kids.

I can see the obvious benefits of this concept.  The kids love to participate, and who can blame them. Trivia is a lot of fun, and until Alex Trebek figures out how to make millions off a kindergarten jeopardy tournament this is pretty much all the kids are going to get.  Don't count out Trebek though. He is a crafty one. The future kindergarten tourney might go something like this.

Trebek: This ruminant's milk can be used on Froot Loops and it often makes the sound moo.
Kid1: My uncle Johnny has a cow. It's name is Elsie.
Trebek: Judges?....sorry we can't accept that.
Kid2: Mr. Startrek, do you know Luke Skywalker?
Trebek: That is incorrect. We were looking for "What is a cow?"

Trivia aside I have one major problem with all these cartoon queries other than being weirded out. They don't always listen to your answer. Once the Little Einsteins asked me and Braden if we wanted to help them find the purple unicorn to save the woodland orchestra. I said NO! I do not now nor do I ever want to help anyone find a purple unicorn.

These little hooligans just ignored me and jumped right in their rocket ship and started carrying on about adagio and moderato.  I guess it doesn't really matter what the kids think to these arrogant TV stars. The cartoon bullies just do whatever they want. They are teaching our children that their opinions don't really matter.

No one is going to tell my son that his opinion doesn't matter. I don't care if they have their own TV show, their own rocket, or their very own magical kingdom in Florida.  If these cartoons are going to insist on asking hundreds of questions a day then the very least they can do is listen to the kids answers.  

And staring isn't polite either.

Snook is a Hippie

In the coming days I have a couple posts that I would like to share covering a very important topic, cartoons. One of the hidden joys or burdens, depending on how you look at it, of having kids is the reintroduction of cartoons into your life.

The last time I was watching cartoons on a regular basis Bugs Bunny was still king.  There was the Road Runner, Tom and Jerry, Mickey Mouse and others as well. Mickey is still around, of course, but now he is the ultra digitized and computerised version. He looks nothing like the Mickey of old. Pooh and other old favorites are still hanging around too, but for the most part there is a whole new cartoon world out there these days.

Now I am not here to cover important topics like why Mickey wears pants and no shirt while Donald Duck wears a shirt and no pants. No, I will leave that to the pros.

Today I am here to build a case against Snook. For those of you who don't know Snook is a big sloth that hangs around on PBS every day at noon on a show called "It's a Big Big World." Today we will prove once and for all that he is a hippie and he is using his show on PBS as a platform to pass along his tree hugging ways to children everywhere. 

For starters Snook's voice, unkempt hair, and laid back attitude are enough to convince me he is a hippie. But if I have learned anything from hours of drinking beer with a lawyer it's that you can't get a judge to convict anyone on looks alone. You need facts.

Let me state my case.

• I just heard Snook yesterday say "Don't you like to celebrate trees?" I am serious. That is what he said. The case should be closed now, but I will go on just to humor the legal eagles out there.
• The tree dwellers sing a song called "You and me are the keepers of the tree."
• Snook and his band of merry men and women also sing a recycling song that goes something like this "The forest is your friend so use it again and again and again."
• On two occasions I have seen Snook out in the real world talking to a guy with a ZZ top beard. They talked once about a compost heap and once about growing organic carrots.
• I have heard Snook implore his minions to "help the tree" on a few occasions. I say help is just another H word substituted for Hug.
• They live in the world tree.  Not the oak tree. Not the pine tree. Not the Mangrove tree. Not even the rubber tree. The World Tree.

Don't get me wrong, teaching children not to litter and how to recycle are good messages. I love the outdoors, and I hope we can keep some nature around for a long time. I am just a little concerned about this guy in a sloth suit pushing a little too much of the hippie counter culture.

So Mr. Snook I'll be watching you. If you ever show up on my TV with a tie-dyed shirt then our relationship is over.

A Positive Response to Baseball

Just before his bedtime Braden usually snuggles up with Mommy and Daddy on the couch and watches TV. He watches some TV, and the rest of the time he uses us as his own personal jungle gym. For the most part though it is a good way for Braden to wind down a bit before he goes to bed.

Last night Braden was on the couch with me. I couldn't find anything that I thought he would watch so I put it on my old standby, ESPN. They were playing an NBA game at the time. Braden likes watching basketball most of the time. Last night he kept saying ball, ball, ball.

While I was still searching the menu for something to watch I noticed a spring training game was on Fox Sports. It was the Texas Rangers who I care nothing about. I wouldn't normally bother to watch such an uninteresting game, but I wanted to see what Braden's reaction would be. This summer will be Braden's first baseball season since he began understanding what is on TV when he watches.

I changed the channel to the baseball game.  I nearly lost Braden right off the bat because the game hadn't started yet. He was fidgeting around a lot. I could tell he was thinking about making his escape. Finally the game started and I said, "Look Braden. They're playing baseball. See him throw the ball."

It definitely caught his eye. Braden kept watching as the pitcher threw a few more pitches. Finally the batter hit the ball to the outfield for a single.

After the hit Braden got up and left the couch. He left the room. I figured that the great baseball experiment had failed. I would have to chase him down now and play something else until bedtime.

Then Braden came back around the corner. He had his "bat". It was actually a golf club, but he doesn't use it in a golfing way. He swings it like a baseball bat at everything in his path.  He brought it over to the couch. Then he hit the couch. Then he hit the chair. Then he hit me.

After a few moments of wild swings Braden turned his attention back to the game. He carried his "bat" right up to the TV and stood staring at the next hitter as he took his cuts.

It seems like such a little thing, but as a parent this is really the good stuff. It is great to see your child recognize something and take part. Watching their mind work is always amazing.

It is even better for me personally to see my son respond positively to a baseball game. It was great to see Braden retrieve his bat and march back onto the playing field. It makes me dream of that day in the future when Braden will emerge from his room with a glove and ask his Dad to play catch.

The Evolution of a Dinosaur Named Barney

Much has been written about TV and its effects on children.  Should they watch? How much should they watch? The debate rages on.  I think there are plenty of educational TV shows out there that can benefit children. They shouldn't watch too much of course. I certainly hope Braden would rather play outside despite the fact that this seems like a dying pastime. Anyway he should at least watch less TV than his Dad.

I never really worried about Braden watching TV because he wouldn't sit still long enough. He runs and runs and runs through the house all day long. He has been doing this since he started walking in September.  As time went by he would occasionally stop in front of the TV when something caught his eye or more often his ear.  Sometimes he would stop and watch odd things like Dirty Jobs or the Bourne Identity.  No matter what was on TV he would always stop when he heard singing.

As time went by part of his daily routine would be to watch PBS in the morning a little with his Mom. She was learning what shows he liked and watching them with him sometimes.  Most days he watches PBS or other cartoons when he gets up. I need coffee. Braden needs cartoons. Whatever gets you going.

Other days the TV stays on cartoons just in case Braden runs by and decides to stop.  When you have an active toddler in the house encouraging him to stop from time to time is necessary for your sanity.  It is better he stops for educational PBS shows than for ice cream or playing with scissors.

The first show Arica noticed that Braden liked was "It's a Big Big World."  This PBS show comes on at noon every day. I have been coming home for lunch every day to eat a sandwich since long before Braden arrived. Now along with the sandwich I work in time to play with Braden and hopefully help Arica out. During these lunches I have seen the big world quite a few times.

Arica says the main character, a sloth named Snook, sounds like he is high.  I have to agree. Snook and his friends also live in the "world tree" and do many environmentally themed shows. One show was about helping the tree.  Helping is just another "h" word to substitute for hugging. I think Snook is a hippie.

What comes right after the tree hugging sloth named Snook?  Barney!!

A lot of people have bad mouthed the purple dinosaur over the years, but as far as I can tell he is a dinosaur sensation. So far Barney is cool with me.  We will see how that changes as I watch him millions of times.

Braden loves Barney. Sometimes when he is in a terrible mood and crying about everything, I will say "let's go watch Barney." When Braden hears this he runs straight for the TV and stands there staring at it. Another time I use this tactic is when he is holding on to his mom crying to be held while she is busy with her hair or makeup or cooking.  When he is like that nothing will deter him, except maybe Barney.

Using these tactics has taught me a lesson though.  Some idiots that make these DVDs put long promos and ads before the main menu. You can't fast forward or skip ahead. You have to watch several of these before you can get to Barney. So be sure to never ask your kid if they want to watch Barney unless the DVD is queued up and ready.

Otherwise they will not stand there all mellowed out like our buddy Snook. They will scream and yell until they hear:

Barney is a Dinosaur from our imagination.....

A Dad Prepares for Lost: The Final Chapter

In between engineering, surfing the web, and studying one word continually creeps into my conscience.  Lost...Lost...Lost. I can't escape it. My nerd alert is screaming at full blast, and the violator is none other than me.

Lost is returning to my life on Tuesday.  I am somewhere between free beer and you're the next contestant on the Price is Right excited about the return of my favorite show.  Actually Lost is probably one of my top two favorite TV dramas of all time, along with The Sopranos.

I have admitted here before that I am a science fiction fan. I have even wondered before if Braden will watch Star Wars with Dad in the future. How great a dad would I be to impart the double barrelled coolness of engineering and science fiction to my kid.  Before you call child services know that I don't go to conventions. I don't own costumes. I have never even read a sci-fi book. I just like watching a little science fiction on TV and on the big screen.

Why do I like science fiction? I think it is due to the depth of the stories and worlds created in these works.  It seems much more difficult to create your own world complete with belief systems, lifestyles, wardrobes, and the like than it does to film in New York City.  In the good movies or shows the stories are very thought provoking. That is what draws me in.  The mysteries of time travel or some other intriguing pursuit get my mind working.  Other times it is just great story, but always the story and characters matter.

I don't understand why some people have a hard time suspending belief to follow these type shows. Most shows that are theoretically based in reality are about as familiar to me as space travel.  The lives these movie characters live are as much like my life as Chewbacca's.  It seems that you have to suspend belief to follow 99% of every movie or show anyway. So why not just go a little further for the sake of a better story.

Lost adds the element of mystery as well. The show has developed a loyal following of weirdos that clamor for answers to the endless number of questions the writers leave unanswered.  This year will be the end of the ride.  Will we get all the answers?  Will the bomb reset the whole space time continuum?  Will the survivors be here or there and what year will it be?  How does this whole crazy mess work anyway?

Who knows?  But that is the fun.  I am sure the writers will let us in on the important secrets. Maybe we will get to know more about Jacob or the ageless Richard Alpert.  Maybe we won't.

Regardless of what answers we get, I will miss Lost when it is gone.  So I am preparing for the season opener with the same excitement Bear Grylls gets from jumping off a cliff. I will be prepared just like Lady Gaga was prepared for her trip to the nut house with that outfit at the Grammys. I will be glued to the TV every Tuesday night. Braden may even have to learn to entertain himself for an hour or two.  (Just kidding. We have a DVR, otherwise known as mankind's greatest achievement.)

If my posts seem a little mysterious for the next several Wednesdays, now you know why.

People Watching in Amsterdam

I found out on Friday that I had to leave again for Scotland on Tuesday. Giving me only four days notice was pretty crappy on my boss’s part. Unfortunately as the only non family member of this family owned business this is my lot in life. I had no choice but to go.

So here I am typing this post from the Amsterdam international Airport. The official name of this place s is Schi-something, but I can’t remember. Give me a break on that one. I am working on about two hours sleep.

As I am sitting here drinking an espresso and watching the unbelievably diverse mass of humanity pass me by, I am reminded of a Cheers episode. Yes I am reminded of TV at all times, even in Amsterdam, the Netherlands...er…Holland…er…the Dutch. These people need to make up their mind.

In this particular episode Woody leaves the bar for a week’s vacation. When he returns everyone in the bar asks him about his exotic destination. Woody replies that he didn’t go. He missed his flight. Of course everyone then asked where he had been for the past week. Woody spent the week at the airport and had the greatest vacation of his life. He met people from all around the world. It was amazing.

Of course nobody I have ever met is quite as simple as Woody. I don’t think anyone would actually do what Woody did in this instance anymore than they would repeat any of his other shenanigans. There is, however, some truth to Woody’s view of the airport. There is really no other place that you can see people from so many walks of life all in one place.

While Woody’s adventure took place at Boston Logan I am going to advise a few other places that might be better for people watching. I think a two of the best might be Paris Charles de Gaulle and where I am sitting right now. I am not sure I have ever seen such diversity as I am seeing here in Holland. This airport in Amsterdam is the gateway to Europe, Asia, and Africa. There are people from all corners of the globe.

I am not typically a people watcher, but when you have two hours to kill without a book to read you resort to other tactics. If you add in the sleep deprivation this becomes quite a fun game. You can imagine all sorts of adventures for your fellow travelers when your mind isn’t functioning properly.

I guess my point is that if you are ever really bored and broke, go down to your local airport and meet some interesting people. Otherwise try not to ever get stuck in a sleep deprived layover in some foreign land. If you do then you might post something as insane as this.

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Computer Brain

After a very successful foray into Random Tuesday Thoughts last week I am back. Thanks again to the Un-Mom and all her friends.

I have now killed 2 laptops in 8 years on the job. I shouldn't say I've killed the 2nd one yet, but it has been diagnosed with a fatal disease. It will die. The only question is when. When you get a laptop it is a clean slate with tons of memory to story seemingly endless amounts of information. After a few years the thing is so full of junk that it is worthless. What if your brain worked like that. I assume there is a limited amount of storage in your brain. It can't be infinite even if it is impossible for us humans to fill. What if you learned so much stuff that simple tasks like walking caused your brain to freeze for five minutes. All the while your head is making whirring and clanging sounds. Finally you black out and reboot before you can go on. It makes me think twice about all that trivia I'm always memorizing. I think we should all binge drink once a month in order to delete some unnecessary files from our cranial hard drive. Think of it as drinking to help you brain function better.

Babies are apparently very fond of routines. This weekend Arica, Braden, and I went to visit my family. Braden did not sleep much for the two nights we were there. Arica did not sleep but a few hours each night either. I was lucky to get one good night sleep. As soon as we got home Sunday Braden was his laughing smiling self again. I guess he just prefers to be in a familiar environment. Arica and I on the other hand looked like the living dead.

I am gearing up for the softball season. I have not played in about five years. I went to my first practice sunday, and I was pleasantly surprised at my skill retention. My hitting was a little rusty, but I fielded the ball smoothly in the infield and outfield. It seemed like I never took a break. At least it felt that way until Monday morning. Now I may not feel like I had a break, but I think I could have a sprain or a pull.

Braden has a shirt that says Mr. Popular. That shirt was proven very true on Sunday morning. In church Braden was so popular that he distracted my Mom and Grandma from the entire service. They played with him throughout the sermon. My Mom's two cousins that sat behind us kept lunging over the seat throughout church to get his attention. The pastor was even distracted enough by Braden's interested stare that he gave Braden a big smile during some readings. Anyone that has the power to distract the entire family on two separate rows and a pastor during church is certainly Mr. Popular.

I remember last year when there was talk of a spin off from The Office. Hey NBC! Parks and Recreation is not a spin off! Taking a insignificant character from one show and casting her as a totally different character in another show does not make a spin off. It doesn't matter if the same person created both shows. J.J. Abrams created Lost and the new show Fringe. This guy has a role in both series, and it is still not a spin off. Frasier is a spin off.

Random Tuesday Thoughts: American Idol and Easter

I have seen these Random Tuesday Thoughts posts around the mom and dad blog community. I finally stumbled upon the origin at The Un-Mom. Since pretty much everything that emanates from my mind is random I thought I would join the fun this Tuesday.

• American Idol is about one step away from becoming their own television network. They already preempt and move around almost every show on Fox. I don't think they interrupt the Sunday schedule, but Simon has been a character on the Simpsons. Nothing is out of their reach. Before long Fox will air Idol every day and Paula Abdul will replace Bill O'Reilly. In case it isn't clear I hate American Idol.


• One more Idol thought. That show has spawned many competition type shows. Dancing seems to be one of the favorites. Why not have instrument playing competitions. The obvious ones are trumpet or maybe the saxophone judged by Kenny G. I personally would like to see "So You Think You Can Play the Oboe." Who wouldn't want to see band geeks lined around the block to show their talents to some angry oboe loving Brit. Someone get Simon on the phone. I want a producer credit.


• The Easter egg hunt we were invited to got cancelled due to heavy rains. I don't think it is too big a deal since Braden can't walk or crawl. The lack of a way to move around would limit his egg gathering abilities. Next year when he can walk we will have to enforce a strict no cancellation policy. We can get scuba gear and swim from puddle to puddle if we must. Eggs float anyway don't they?


• I already miss Mark and Olly: Living with the Machigenga. I think we should trump up some bogus charges and get them kicked out of their countries of residence. Maybe if they lost their home they would be more inclined to live in the jungle forever. After all my entertainment is more important than their normal civilized lives.


• I found another one of the great things about being a Dad. On a child's first Easter some people still give them candy. After all stuffing candy in plastic eggs is one of the biggest Easter traditions. When your child has no teeth you get the candy.

Sports in a Marriage

I am a bonified sports junkie. I love the big three baseball, basketball, and football. I have followed a team in each of these sports ever since I was a kid. I still do that today, but some other things have changed. I once heard Colin Cowherd on ESPN Radio say that as you get older you have to trim your sports tree. I don't always agree with him but he definitely has this one right on. When you are younger and single you can follow every sport you want. You have no real responsibilities so you can spend every night watching TV. As you get older and have other duties with family and work you have to cut back on following some sports. For instance there might not be time to watch the random Saturday afternoon badminton match any more.

There was a time in my life, during college and shortly after I graduated, that I absolutely watched every single Cardinals game. This was before the advent of Tivo mind you. Every summer night during college you could find me sitting on the couch with a cold one tuned into the game. After I graduated I usually took my party to the bar at Applebee's. There I got control of the TV from the bartender and watched the Cards like it was my own personal viewing room. Everyone else had to watch or go somewhere else.

Those aren't the only sports freedoms the younger man can enjoy. I also watched nearly every single college basketball game on TV. I love college hoops so I would watch Big Monday, Super Tuesday, Whatever Wednesday and so on. I was a little over the top with sports, but if I was home that is what I was watching. I didn't watch TV dramas. I either watched Sports, Seinfeld, or maybe a movie. Now with a wife and kid things are different.

Arica is very understanding. She finds other ways to busy herself when I must watch sports. I have trimmed my tree back to the Cardinals and the Razorbacks. For some people that would still be a ton of sports but not for me. That is the bare minimum. I am not complaining. Spending time with my family is much more important than watching total strangers play games inside the television. I am writing about this today because it is one of the great sporting days of the year. Today is opening day of the baseball season. There was a game last night but it doesn't count as opening day in my mind. Today the St. Louis Cardinals will start the season in pursuit of another pennant. If you are unaware of my love for baseball you can read about it here. Being opening day I am sitting at my desk wearing my bright red Cardinals T-shirt today. I may be a grown man, but much like David Puddy, you gotta support the team. I don't know if many of my readers are baseball fans. I do know that my friend over at Daddy Files is a big Red Sox fan so he is probably excited today too.



Later tonight the NCAA Men's Basketball Championship will be played. I haven't missed a championship game in forever. Now the trick for me tonight is to watch these events while still maintaining my duties as father and husband. It is a tricky thing to pull off but I can do it. I am thankful that I cut back on so many unnecessary sports events. Doing that makes nights like tonight possible.

Watching Star Wars with Dad or Not

I have tried recently to avoid wondering so much about my son's future and our future relationship. Previously I have wondered about Bass Fishing and Seinfeld. Lately I have been trying to live in the moment and enjoy every day with Braden. I have made the executive decision that enough time has passed, and I now can wonder about the future again. Today I am wondering about the ever important topic of Star Wars.

I grew up the son of a dad who had a mild case of sci-fi fever. He was not over the top with his devotion to the genre, but that was probably due to my domination of the TV choices. I know that he loved the Star Trek TV show once upon a time. I remember watching those movies with him as well. That was never really my thing, but one area that our interests coincided was George Lucas' wonderful world of Star Wars. I loved Luke Skywalker and Han Solo as a kid. I had every toy and action figure imaginable. Somewhere in my parents dark, cramped attic some of those toys no doubt still exist. They are probably worth nothing and could never be passed on to Braden. That is because my Star Wars toys show the wear and tear of a little boys love. I am pretty sure that I loved my toys nearly to death resulting in as many broken parts as good times.

As I grew older I continued to like Star Wars watching each movie seemingly hundreds of times. I loved them in a different way. I no longer played with the toys, though I will admit some intrigue remains when I pass them in Wal-Mart. Now it was more about the characters and story telling. The characters are all amazing. The spectrum ranges from the ultra evil to the unsurpassably wise. On one end there is the greatest villain of all time Darth Vader. On the other end is the often quoted always beloved Yoda. The imagination behind all the different locales is second to none as well. Whether you were speeding across the desserts of Tatooine or traipsing around on the forest moon of Endor, it was always exciting. I feel obligated at this point to note that my comments do not pertain to the three prequel versions. The final installment was pretty good but the first two were shameful. Star Wars will always mean the three episodes from my youth and there will be no further discussion on that topic.

Someday Braden will be old enough to check out Luke, Han, Leia and the gang. Hopefully before then Lucas stops milking his cash cow to the tune of cartoons, movies, and cartoon movies. Maybe we can draw the line at some point before the whole beauty of the series is lost. I hope Braden can watch the movies with me in the same order as I did. I will be devastated if some kid introduces him to Jar Jar Binks before he is ready. If that is Braden's first memory of Star Wars then all is lost. I hope he has the right mixture of sci-fi interest that will lead him to enjoy this all time favorite, but keep him away from the conventions. Since I was so tough on my toys I may need to start saving money now. I am sure a Millennium Falcon doesn't cost what it used to.

Living with the Machigenga

I have been watching a show Sunday nights on the Travel Channel called "Mark and Olly: Living with the Machigenga." The show is about two British nuts who travel to Peru to live in the jungle with an indigenous isolated tribe called the Machigenga. These two guys will do whatever it takes to be accepted into the tribe's society. They live alongside the natives and take part in their daily rituals. So far the show has included the hosts using hallucinogenic drugs, learning to navigate the rapids on man made rafts, hunting for lost tribesmen, letting an entire hive of bees sting them to prove manhood, a tribal olympics, fermenting beer with their own spit, hunting monkeys, eating monkeys, and raising a monkey orphaned by their own hunting. Any show that can boast that type of lineup is must see TV as far as I am concerned.



After watching this Sunday I thought this must be what life is like for Braden. He comes into the new jungle of our lives knowing less about us than our British explorers know about their new hosts. Braden spent months in his own little cave doing his own thing. As soon as he burst forth into the light everything has been new. I wonder what must be going on in his little mind as parades of people pass through his world to hold him and talk to him. He understands us on roughly the same level as Mark and Olly understand Jose, Jacinto, and the rest of the tribe. We lay him on his back and stomach to get him to do certain rituals that are foreign to him much like Mark an Olly with the bee stinging rite of manhood. He is shown new toys and gadgets all the time. He learns to use things much like the explorers learn to use the bow and arrow or the raft. He may not eat monkey hands but soon he will be trying all manner of slimy pseudo foods. I know that Braden feels an attachment to Arica and me and he certainly loves us very much. I can't help but think though at times it must feel very much like a strange adventure to him as he journeys through these early months and years. Hopefully I can be a better guide than the Machigenga who laugh and ridicule every chance they get.

What is a Dad?

In order to fully understand this journey I am taking on "Life of a New Dad" we probably better understand exactly what is a dad. From my observation Dad's can take many shapes and sizes. There is the animated dad best represented by our yellow beer swilling friend Homer Simpson. There is also the TV dad represented by hundreds including my favorite Al Bundy. There are even science fiction dads, in tune with the force, like Darth Vader. Of course us real dads don't practice our parenting skills inside the TV. Even so, something must tie us all together. What makes us all Dad's whether real or imagined.

Does a dad have to watch the weather channel every morning or the news every night? Is he required to wear a tie every once in a while or should he wear work boots and a hard hat? Does a dad know everything or is he just full of hot air? Should a dad play sports or fix cars? Can a dad play video games or is he too serious for that? Can he be fashionable or does he have to be stuck in a fashion time warp?

Obviously we all know that none of those things can make you a dad. At the same time all of them are allowed. We must look further than our outer appearance or hobbies to define a dad. Webster's dictionary defines dad by saying see father. After turning the virtual page we can find that the same dictionary defines father as a man who has begotten a child. Webster may be the foremost authority on the meaning of English words, but this definition doesn't do it for me. There are many men out there who have begotten a child then left the child soon after. It takes a lot more than that to be a dad. I think to be a dad you have to love your child with all your heart and take an active part in their life every day. Think about it. Even Darth Vader loved his child enough to give his own life to save him from the forces of evil. This from probably the greatest villain of all time. How can a child expect anything less from us regular dads.

Watching Seinfeld with Dad or Not

A little while back I wondered if my son would enjoy fishing with me. Today I turn my inquisitive nature to a less active pursuit...watching TV. Seinfeld is my favorite TV show of all time. It has been in syndication forever so you are all probably familiar with the show but on the wild chance you are not you can check out some clips here. I used to watch 1 or 2 episodes every day after work. That led to me seeing every episode 10 or more times. Now I have all 9 seasons on DVD and can watch them whenever I want although being a husband and a dad has reduced my time with Jerry and the gang to 1 or 2 episodes a week. The question I have today is whether some day Braden will enjoy Seinfeld like I do, or will he shake his head and say "I can't believe you're watching that stupid show again Dad."


There is precedence for young people watching older shows. They are on TV all the time so they are certainly available. When I was a kid I watched old favorites like "Leave it to Beaver", "The Adams Family", "Gilligan's Island", "The Brady Bunch" and many others. Those shows were family friendly and I watched them at my Grandma's house most of the time. Also during those times there were not too many TV channels so I had limited choices. As an adult I enjoy "All in the Family" and "Sanford and Son". You can see that personally I enjoy older shows. I feel that a good show or movie is timeless and should be enjoyed by every generation.


Seinfeld has a lot of adult themes like "The Contest" and others so this question will not be answered for a long while. By the time Braden is old enough to handle the content there is no telling what other media options will be readily available. We can already watch video on the computer at the click of a button. We already have DVRs that will record everything and iPod's that make video download and storage extremely convenient. I hope all this technology and the certain improvements to come will help Braden enjoy some of my old favorites rather than make them obsolete.


I guess the biggest question is how does a brand new person develop their sense of humor. I am sure it's developed mostly based on the environment surrounding the child. I hope being around me will help Braden develop my sense of humor. If he doesn't then he will probably spend a lot of his life trying to figure out what is wrong with me. On second thought my sense of humor could be a curse because it is unique to say the least. I guess the best thing would be for our humor to intersect in just the right places like Seinfeld.