I felt one of the girls kicking for the first time last night. That is always a very cool moment for the expecting Dad. Arica has been feeling the kicks for weeks. But it is always much later before Dad gets his first touch from the new life growing within.
Feeling that kick makes things seem a little bit more real, and it means that the arrival of the little kickers is getting closer. I thought it was awesome to get a small little foot five from one of our girls. I don't know which one it was, but I'm glad she said hello.
For that matter even if I did know which girl kicked me, I wouldn't be sure what to call her. We haven't quite figured out the proper naming convention for twins yet. I say the first one gets a certain name and the second one gets the other name, but what do I know. At this point you just can't be sure which is which.
That makes it harder to talk to them before birth. When you have one kid you can pat your wife's belly and call them by name. I talked to Braden all the time. I wanted him to know my voice when he appeared on the scene.
With the girls I won't know which one I am talking to at any given time. I guess as things get further along they will stake out claim to certain parts of the uterus. When these claims are well established we can give them names like top baby and bottom baby.
Whatever their names, and whichever girl, one of them kicked my hand last night and it was awesome.
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Men on Twins
Everything on my mind is twins, twins, twins lately. I guess that is the appropriate response for a man in my position. In 13 short days we will discover the sex of our twins. At that time we can start to make more formal plans for the things we need to purchase. If we have at least one boy then we are in good shape for toys and clothes. If we have zero boys then it's off to the second hand store to peddle our wares.
People always want to know how you felt when you found out you were having twins. Many a person has laughed at just the thought of my reaction. That reaction took place about four months ago, and now we are more entrenched in the reality portion of this endeavor.
Still people want to know your feelings. I think maybe they want you to burst into tears sobbing, "I can't do this! Why me!" Maybe it's more of an honest question. People just want to know what it is like to experience something that is not the norm.
Whatever the reason for the questions, I am here to provide the answers...from a male point of view.
Thinking about my feelings I have determined that there are three distinct feelings that come with expecting twins. A normal person experiences all these emotions. You may feel them all at once in the beginning, but it is more likely a progression. Some people may not experience them all, but it is best that the mated pair experience all these emotions as a group at the very least.
Also at any time during the nine month gestation period of the human female, the male of the species can switch from one emotion to another on an monthly, daily, or even hourly basis. There are a lot of things to process in this situation so the mind just processes at will. At least that's how it works for me.
The first emotion as you could probably all guess is shock. Holy #$!& if you will. This can last various lengths of time. I guess some people can be shocked for the entire nine months. For me it lasted just a couple days. It was very severe for the first 30 minutes during which time I did not utter a single word. After a few days the governing emotion changed.
The second feeling that I experienced was blessing. I still experience this emotion on a daily basis. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to experience the wonder of twins. I know it is a blessing to be able to have even one child, but to be blessed by two at once is indeed special. After the initial shock wore off, I was already the father of twins in my mind, and I love it. I wouldn't have it any other way.
The final mind set that comes with having twins is the one that governs my thoughts most days. This is the practical approach. Twins changes everything. The first thing you think of is how to deal with two screaming pooping bundles of joy at once. But that soon fades into the shadows of bigger more immediate concerns.
For example: Our house is too small. We need a bigger one. Our car is too small. We need a bigger one. We need to rearrange our room to make room for the babies. We need to buy Braden another bed so the babies can have the crib that is now converted into a toddler bed. We need to sell my boat to raise a little extra cash. We need to review our finances and make the proper adjustments.
So in a month or so we will probably be trying to sell a house, car, and boat all at the same time. We will be rearranging half of our home. We will be buying one of just about everything because even though we kept all of Braden's stuff he is only one baby. We are now expecting two.
Just like in a normal pregnancy the time before the baby allows the parents to get their lives in order. It is a good plan. Thank you God. Babies just arriving on the door step unannounced would be a huge problem. We all need time to prepare. So even though we have a kid already, everything is new this time. And we are going to spend the next four months weaving in and out of shock, blessing, and practicality while transforming our lives into Twin Mode.
People always want to know how you felt when you found out you were having twins. Many a person has laughed at just the thought of my reaction. That reaction took place about four months ago, and now we are more entrenched in the reality portion of this endeavor.
Still people want to know your feelings. I think maybe they want you to burst into tears sobbing, "I can't do this! Why me!" Maybe it's more of an honest question. People just want to know what it is like to experience something that is not the norm.
Whatever the reason for the questions, I am here to provide the answers...from a male point of view.
Thinking about my feelings I have determined that there are three distinct feelings that come with expecting twins. A normal person experiences all these emotions. You may feel them all at once in the beginning, but it is more likely a progression. Some people may not experience them all, but it is best that the mated pair experience all these emotions as a group at the very least.
Also at any time during the nine month gestation period of the human female, the male of the species can switch from one emotion to another on an monthly, daily, or even hourly basis. There are a lot of things to process in this situation so the mind just processes at will. At least that's how it works for me.
The first emotion as you could probably all guess is shock. Holy #$!& if you will. This can last various lengths of time. I guess some people can be shocked for the entire nine months. For me it lasted just a couple days. It was very severe for the first 30 minutes during which time I did not utter a single word. After a few days the governing emotion changed.
The second feeling that I experienced was blessing. I still experience this emotion on a daily basis. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to experience the wonder of twins. I know it is a blessing to be able to have even one child, but to be blessed by two at once is indeed special. After the initial shock wore off, I was already the father of twins in my mind, and I love it. I wouldn't have it any other way.
The final mind set that comes with having twins is the one that governs my thoughts most days. This is the practical approach. Twins changes everything. The first thing you think of is how to deal with two screaming pooping bundles of joy at once. But that soon fades into the shadows of bigger more immediate concerns.
For example: Our house is too small. We need a bigger one. Our car is too small. We need a bigger one. We need to rearrange our room to make room for the babies. We need to buy Braden another bed so the babies can have the crib that is now converted into a toddler bed. We need to sell my boat to raise a little extra cash. We need to review our finances and make the proper adjustments.
So in a month or so we will probably be trying to sell a house, car, and boat all at the same time. We will be rearranging half of our home. We will be buying one of just about everything because even though we kept all of Braden's stuff he is only one baby. We are now expecting two.
Just like in a normal pregnancy the time before the baby allows the parents to get their lives in order. It is a good plan. Thank you God. Babies just arriving on the door step unannounced would be a huge problem. We all need time to prepare. So even though we have a kid already, everything is new this time. And we are going to spend the next four months weaving in and out of shock, blessing, and practicality while transforming our lives into Twin Mode.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Control of the House
I've been snowed in for the past two days. On top of that everyone in the house has been sick. Unfortunately no one had a vividly insane fever dream that warranted a post. Instead you are all left to what little coherent thought my meager brain could muster.
The mid term elections last year were much talked about because of the possible change in control of Congress. The results would determine who ruled the House and Senate and thus the government. Essentially it was a question of whether Obama would continue to get free rein or if he would face some opposition. Well I hate politics, so lets end this little analogy here.
Control of the Life of a New Dad house is up for grabs this year in much the same way. We aren't having elections. In fact the outcome has already been determined. We just don't yet have the results. If you want to keep the political analogy going you could say that the results have yet to be verified by the proper authorities. When we find out the sex of our twins in about two weeks it will reveal much more than the type of clothes we should buy or what names are appropriate. The verdict will set the power balance of our house for the next 18 years or so.
Normally a couple on their second pregnancy can still possibly come out with a divided house where the estrogen and testosterone are balanced. It is far from certain, but indeed a possibility.
When that pregnancy is discovered to be a twin pregnancy then you skip the possibility of nice even numbers. You go from three to five. The house balance of power can lean towards either girl or boy. The stakes are very high. For us the possible outcomes are as follows.
I made a judgement call on the three to two house. I call that even steven because let's face it, Arica rules the house and she is on that team. I need three other boys on my side to assert male dominance. Any guys out there who are laughing at me obviously aren't married, or they won't be for long.
So that's what is on my mind. How will this shake out? If you read the last post you know I'll be happy with any verdict, but the reality of what life will be like changes dramatically from one alignment to another.
The mid term elections last year were much talked about because of the possible change in control of Congress. The results would determine who ruled the House and Senate and thus the government. Essentially it was a question of whether Obama would continue to get free rein or if he would face some opposition. Well I hate politics, so lets end this little analogy here.
Control of the Life of a New Dad house is up for grabs this year in much the same way. We aren't having elections. In fact the outcome has already been determined. We just don't yet have the results. If you want to keep the political analogy going you could say that the results have yet to be verified by the proper authorities. When we find out the sex of our twins in about two weeks it will reveal much more than the type of clothes we should buy or what names are appropriate. The verdict will set the power balance of our house for the next 18 years or so.
Normally a couple on their second pregnancy can still possibly come out with a divided house where the estrogen and testosterone are balanced. It is far from certain, but indeed a possibility.
When that pregnancy is discovered to be a twin pregnancy then you skip the possibility of nice even numbers. You go from three to five. The house balance of power can lean towards either girl or boy. The stakes are very high. For us the possible outcomes are as follows.
- Four boys, 1 Girl - SportsCenter House
- Three boys, 2 Girls - Even Steven House
- Three girls, 2 Boys - Reality TV House
I made a judgement call on the three to two house. I call that even steven because let's face it, Arica rules the house and she is on that team. I need three other boys on my side to assert male dominance. Any guys out there who are laughing at me obviously aren't married, or they won't be for long.
So that's what is on my mind. How will this shake out? If you read the last post you know I'll be happy with any verdict, but the reality of what life will be like changes dramatically from one alignment to another.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Stop Telling Me You Don't Want Girls
Time is flying by during this pregnancy for both me and Arica. She is now 17 weeks pregnant which is hard to believe. That puts us smack dab in the middle of the wondering about our babies sex period. We can't wait to know.
And with twins it is a much bigger deal. At least it feels that way to me. There are three possibilities sex wise rather than only two. There is also the fraternal/identical thing. This pregnancy could shake out any number of ways. We are really excited to find out, but rather than talk about that today I have some frustrations to vent.
I keep hearing pregnant friends say that they don't want to have girls. Even worse we have people saying that they don't want US to have girls, as if it is really any of their business. Some folks have even gone as far as joking if they are girls we should just send them back.
I will be honest and say that like most men I wanted a boy the first time. I was excited when we first saw Braden's boy parts. But I would never joke that I would send a baby back based on sex. To me that is just stupid, and frankly it's starting to get on my nerves big time.
Having kids is not like going to McDonald's and picking out a value meal. You don't get to make a choice. If you are able to have kids then you should just be thankful to be so blessed. People should just take what God gives them and be happy about it because there are plenty of people out there who would love to have kids but can't.
Sure I've made all the jokes about having girls and buying shotguns. I don't mind those. They are in good fun and somewhat realistic if you know me. Those jokes are good fun, but they don't in any way insinuate that I would rather give the girls back than protect them from teenage boys with raging hormones.
I also heard a story recently about another couple that found out they were having twins, and they just lost it. They didn't want twins. That would interfere with their lives. It was too hard. It wasn't fair.
Let me assure you that I understand how if feels to get that shocking news. It was overwhelming for me, but I would never suggest that I didn't want those babies. Having twins I feel doubly blessed even though I am aware that I will be doubly tired and doubly insane.
Maybe I need to lighten up a bit. I don't know.
Personally I just feel like having a baby is way too awesome of an experience to cheapen it by insinuating that if you don't get the kind of child you want you will be disappointed. What's next? People who will send their kids back if they aren't athletes or musicians? What about eye and hair color?
Everyone should rejoice in the miracle of life no matter what. I know I will.
And with twins it is a much bigger deal. At least it feels that way to me. There are three possibilities sex wise rather than only two. There is also the fraternal/identical thing. This pregnancy could shake out any number of ways. We are really excited to find out, but rather than talk about that today I have some frustrations to vent.
I keep hearing pregnant friends say that they don't want to have girls. Even worse we have people saying that they don't want US to have girls, as if it is really any of their business. Some folks have even gone as far as joking if they are girls we should just send them back.
I will be honest and say that like most men I wanted a boy the first time. I was excited when we first saw Braden's boy parts. But I would never joke that I would send a baby back based on sex. To me that is just stupid, and frankly it's starting to get on my nerves big time.
Having kids is not like going to McDonald's and picking out a value meal. You don't get to make a choice. If you are able to have kids then you should just be thankful to be so blessed. People should just take what God gives them and be happy about it because there are plenty of people out there who would love to have kids but can't.
Sure I've made all the jokes about having girls and buying shotguns. I don't mind those. They are in good fun and somewhat realistic if you know me. Those jokes are good fun, but they don't in any way insinuate that I would rather give the girls back than protect them from teenage boys with raging hormones.
I also heard a story recently about another couple that found out they were having twins, and they just lost it. They didn't want twins. That would interfere with their lives. It was too hard. It wasn't fair.
Let me assure you that I understand how if feels to get that shocking news. It was overwhelming for me, but I would never suggest that I didn't want those babies. Having twins I feel doubly blessed even though I am aware that I will be doubly tired and doubly insane.
Maybe I need to lighten up a bit. I don't know.
Personally I just feel like having a baby is way too awesome of an experience to cheapen it by insinuating that if you don't get the kind of child you want you will be disappointed. What's next? People who will send their kids back if they aren't athletes or musicians? What about eye and hair color?
Everyone should rejoice in the miracle of life no matter what. I know I will.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Pregnant with Twins - How Does It Feel?
Anyone out there ever wonder what it feels like to be pregnant with twins? Ladies? Guys? Bueller?
Well I may not be the perfect person to tell you, but I live with someone who is an expert. I see her every day. After observing her for a few weeks I have been able to piece together a few things about the early portion of pregnancy with twins.
If I may use a technical term, the first trimester can be a tough time for a woman. Sidebar: If the term for one third of a mester is trimester, why is half the school year not called a bimester. These are the things that keep me up at night, but I digress. Arica has been extra sick, extra tired, and just plain feeling extra bad.
When she told her doctor that she was feeling a lot more sick this time than she did with Braden, he laughed and said, "There's a reason for that."
It would follow logically that with two babies a woman's body produces twice the hormones. These hormones are the ones that make a woman feel nauseous and get sick. So it's true. With twins you get twice as sick.
Consider this message a public service announcement, and don't ever say that this is not an educational blog. We strive to inform here at Life of a New Dad.
Please say a prayer for Arica too while your at it. We'd love for her to have more energy and feel a bit better while we are celebrating Christmas.
Well I may not be the perfect person to tell you, but I live with someone who is an expert. I see her every day. After observing her for a few weeks I have been able to piece together a few things about the early portion of pregnancy with twins.
If I may use a technical term, the first trimester can be a tough time for a woman. Sidebar: If the term for one third of a mester is trimester, why is half the school year not called a bimester. These are the things that keep me up at night, but I digress. Arica has been extra sick, extra tired, and just plain feeling extra bad.
When she told her doctor that she was feeling a lot more sick this time than she did with Braden, he laughed and said, "There's a reason for that."
It would follow logically that with two babies a woman's body produces twice the hormones. These hormones are the ones that make a woman feel nauseous and get sick. So it's true. With twins you get twice as sick.
Consider this message a public service announcement, and don't ever say that this is not an educational blog. We strive to inform here at Life of a New Dad.
Please say a prayer for Arica too while your at it. We'd love for her to have more energy and feel a bit better while we are celebrating Christmas.
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