Toddler Talk

Interpreting the wants and desires of a toddler can be next to impossible, especially in the early stages of talking. They may scream about something that is totally clear in their mind but sounds like gobbledygook to you. Maybe you have spent 15 minutes trying to figure out what dog shoe means or bowl shoot. Who knows?

Braden is really developing a large vocabulary. He can say tons of words. Most of the time they are easily discernible to Arica and me. But even if we know exactly what Braden is saying it doesn't mean that we know what he wants.

Parenting is a learning experience, and Braden is the teacher. Clear understanding may be unachievable, but we do our best to learn as we go. Here is an example of how similar comments can mean totally different things.

Braden: Uh Oh! Shoe off!
Translation: Oh Crap! My shoe fell off! Put it back on now lest I pitch a fit!

Braden: Shoe off!
Translation: Take my shoe off now old man before I punch you in the face!

Now that we can easily decipher Braden's shoe commands and sweaty "dock" desires, I am sure the little dictator will find new ways to torture us with his words.

First Cardinals Game

Who says dreams don't come true?

One of mine became a reality on July 2, 2010. I took my very own son to a St. Louis Cardinals baseball game. He won't remember it, but I always will. It will be great to share games in the future when he can actually talk baseball with his old man. Until then I am more than happy to just share the game I love with Braden whether it means chasing him around the stadium or actually sitting in the seats.

Here is a picture story of our family trip to the ballgame.

Braden is dressed and ready.

On the way to the park we saw the parachuters.

At the stadium we got a souvenir giveaway.

Then we found our seats and took a family photo.

After that we had to get a hot dog. It's un-American to not eat a hot dog at the ballgame.

With full bellies it was time to catch a little bit of the game.

We saw Daddy's Favorite Albert Pujols...

...and Mommy's favorite Yadier Molina seen here catching in this great action shot taken by Arica. I think I should send this in to Sports Illustrated or something.

Then Braden had a Coke.

He likes Coke.

Then Braden watched some more of the game with his beloved Coke.

As the night was winding down we took a lot of pictures to commemorate the occasion. Here is one.

Unfortunately the game ended and we had to go home. But We'll be back.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Good in this story does not come from a character named Blondie, nor does it come from Clint Eastwood himself.  There is a character involved, however. Before Saturday I had never seen or spoke to this character. She was just another unfortunate person stuck in medical purgatory with us. Then out of the blue this stranger approached our little family circle and offered us her turn. She was next in line to be freed from Emergency Room Waiting Area #1, but she was ceding her spot to us. The lady said she couldn't bring herself to go ahead of a crying baby. It's a sad commentary on society that whenever someone does something nice I am completely floored. I only expect rude comments and totally self involved behavior from everyone I encounter. But on this day God sent a kind, compassionate person to help us out. Arica hugged her. I thanked her time and again, and we hurried off through the swinging doors.

The bad should seem obvious by now. We were in the emergency room with a crying baby. Yes, that baby was Braden. He had hurt his arm earlier that afternoon. When this woman interceded and got us some help we had been in the waiting room for over three hours. In all that time Braden had not moved his right arm. Even the slightest movement or jostling would elicit a painful cry from the little trooper. As long as we could keep his arm still things were manageable. Still Braden had been crying for the better part of four hours and that is heart wrenching for a parent. Equally as terrible was watching him try to do things while his right arm hung limp. It was awful.

Sharing the bad moniker in this story is the hospital. What kind of place doesn't cater to children. We watched several people that looked OK come in after us and get medical attention before us. The powers that be were letting people jump a crying baby in line. There were a few emergencies, and that is certainly understandable. Short of people that need immediate attention, crying babies with limp arms should go first. Children are the helpless, defenseless future of mankind. Surely that warrants special care. Thank goodness that one of the patients had more decency and good sense than the hospital. In this case the inmates running the asylum was a blessing.

The ugliness in this story lies in the genesis of the whole situation. The man that caused my son this pain will bear the title of The Ugly. That man is me. I sent my own son to the emergency room.  I was swinging him around by his arms and legs. Nothing snapped or popped. There was no violent jerking or collision. Yet, when I sat Braden down he began to cry. He was holding his arm. He wasn't moving it. I kissed it over and over because this normally cures all his ailments. Still the crying continued. Finally I called Arica who was on her way home. She called the doctor's office only to find that the clinics were closed for the day. Our only option was the emergency room. So here I was holding my crying child, cradling his lifeless little arm, and staring straight into the ugly truth that all this was my fault. That is a tough burden to shoulder.

Of course this story can't end there, and thankfully it won't end on a grim note either.This story will have to become The Good, The Bad, The Ugly, and The Blessed. We were truly blessed there was no serious injury. The doctor came in, looked Braden over, and proclaimed he thought it was something called Nursemaids Elbow. If you twist and pull a little ones arm just right the ligament in their elbow will pop out of place. Apparently that had happened to Braden. The doc bent Braden's arm, Braden screamed, and in a few minutes all was well. Braden went on like nothing ever happened.

Other than all that it was just a normal Saturday including a good woman, a bad injury, an ugly feeling, and a blessed and healthy child.

Note to self: Stop swinging Braden by his arms.

Living With a Parrot

Braden is learning new words as fast as Arica and I can say them. Among other things that means we have to watch our mouths unless we want Braden to sound like Chris Rock. Now I can't go on a profanity laced tirade about the Cardinals bullpen blowing two straight games. If I did that Braden would certainly share some of those 4-letter words the next day at school. Our house is not a big cursing place anyway, but from now on we will probably employ a few more shucks and darns.

Of course all Braden's talking is exciting and brings a lot of fun to the house as well. One fun thing I like to do each day, now that Braden is in full Polly wants a cracker mode, is to ask him about his day at school. That conversation usually sounds something like this.

Me: How was your day at school? Were you a good boy?
Braden: I dood buoy
Me: Did you play?
Braden: I pay
Me: Did you play with a ball?
Braden: I pay ball
Me: Did you play with a car?
Braden: I pay car
Me: Did you eat?
Braden: I eat
Me: Did you eat a cookie?
Braden: I tookie
Me: Did you watch tv?
Braden: I teetee
Me: Did you take your monkey?
Braden: I mummy
Me: Do you want to go to school again tomorrow?
Braden: NO!

Catching Up

I was gone on vacation last week. I haven't quit blogging just yet. Yesterday, I did write a farewell post, but I just couldn't bring myself to post it. Quitting is not in my blood. Even when I want to quit sometimes it's still impossible.

So for now I am still here pounding the keyboard. Feel free to start a Save the Otter internet campaign. Get me enough love and I may continue doing this for a long time. Who knows?

Today I will touch on a few subjects using the Life of a New Dad favorite bullet style.

• First I have some business to take care of. The nice folks at Dove sent me some free soap. I get offered free crap from time to time, but this was different. I need soap. I use it every day. How could I turn down a free bottle of something I needed. So I am trying a new soap. Arica said it smells good and that is pretty much enough for me. I feel clean when I use it, but I didn't get out the microscope to check. I am confident enough in my clean sensing skills. I don't like the "Active Clean Shower Tool" though. It is just a loofah wrapped in a rubber housing with an exterior pad. It doesn't fool me. I don't wear pink. I don't wear visors. And I don't use loofahs. So I recommend Dove Men +Care if you like to be clean. I don't know what it costs though. If you go to buy some and it costs $7 a bottle then complain to Dove not me. Mine was free.
• We took Braden to an amusement park, a water park, the zoo, Grant's Farm, and his very first Cardinals game on our vacation. It was a great trip. We have plenty of pictures that I might get around to sharing some day. At the end of the week it was nice to be home though. Braden agreed. He went around the house digging out all his toys to make sure they were still there.
• Grant's farm must be one of the only places in America that has a petting zoo, a carousel, and free beer. I say America because I imagine they have places like that on every corner in Germany that also include sausage trees and BMW bumper cars.
• We had a mouse. I stress HAD. He is now gone from the ranks of the living. Our furry friend had been wreaking havoc for quite a while. I kept forgetting to buy traps. I am an out of sight out of mind kind of guy. Finally I got traps two days ago. I opted for the glue traps like an idiot. I guess I felt like they were now the industry standard for mouse killing. They were also the cheapest traps. Yahoo! I saved a dime! They must be for city mice because our country strong mouse woke me up at 4:30 am banging around under the stove while escaping from his sticky demise. Last night I placed an old school snap and kill trap right back in the same spot. This morning we had a dead mouse. People have been using dead fall traps for thousands of years. Why in the world didn't I try them first. Let this be a lesson to all of you. If you want to kill animals go for the most vicious forceful type of trap you can find.
• I had a job offer this past week. I went in to quit my job yesterday and ended up getting a promotion of sorts instead. See above about my trouble quitting. Now I get to keep my same relaxing position with a promise of zero travelling unless it is an absolute emergency. I also got a raise and some profit sharing guarantees. Now I might need to stop blogging so much and try to make some sales.
• The week before we went on vacation, right before I had two job interviews, we put our house on the market. It is not a great time to sell a house, but we are trying anyway. We don't want to live in a two bedroom palace anymore. We need a larger palace in which to store our wares.

As you can see we have been quite busy lately. Wish us luck selling our house and in returning to our normal workaday routines.