Same Sex Fraternal Twins

Arica and I went in for her second official ultrasound today. It is a common misconception that this ultrasound is for determining the sex of the baby. Although I will reveal that momentarily, it is not the reason any physician prescribes this scan. The ultrasound's function is actually to find about a million different anatomical blurbs on the screen to help the doctor determine how the babies are doing. Among those things are the cerebellum, stomach, kidneys, chambers of the heart, and a bunch of ABCs whose meanings I am not privy too.

On that note I am very happy to say that the doctors exact words on how things looked was, "Perfect." The twins are measuring within three days of the expected due date. Their weights are 11 and 12 ounces which is within the desired range for weight difference. Everything is cooking well which is the most important thing.

Of course I have never had a single person text, Facebook, tweet, or dial up the phone and ask me how the babies kidneys looked. The only queries I have fielded for weeks now have involved the sex of the babies.

But before I get to that let's talk a brief bit about identical and fraternal twins. Our twins have separate placentas. Although there is no one hundred percent guarantee this most likely means that we will be having fraternal twins. The odds of them being identical at this point are extremely low.

Finally, we come to the private parts. Today there was only one type of private parts shown on that black and white screen. And those parts were girl parts.

We are expecting two little girls!!!

I am really excited, but altogether lost. I have a brother and a son. I don't know anything about girls. Ask my wife.

I will certainly be making gun jokes for years to come, but that is not the true sentiment of the day. Today I am in awe that God has chosen to bless Arica and me with two beautiful baby girls. I promise to do everything in my power to be the best Dad that I can for these two angels. I will learn to like pink. I will learn to play with dolls. I will learn to love ribbons, bows, dresses, and closets full of shoes.

As I understand the father/daughter relationship I probably won't have any power to resist anyway.

A Perfect Kid with a Sleep Disorder

This is the only explanation. We've lived with this person for two years and a little over three months now. I know what he is like. Braden has been one of the easiest kids to raise that anyone could hope for during the daylight hours. But after dark he can be difficult.

Braden gave up his bottle cold turkey at 12 months. No trouble at all. Not one crying fit over his bottle. His pacifier went in the same exact way shortly after that. Braden has always been a good eater. That is part of the reason he got of the bottle so quick. He likes food. He loves fruits and veggies and will never turn them down. He loves milk and water, and drinks them almost exclusively.

But his greatness does not only revolve around food. At the ripe old age of two he has 80% mastered potty training in only a few short months. His terrible twos tantrums only lasted a short while. He always says please and thank you without prompting. If he so much as bumps into you he will offer a sorry.

This is daytime Braden. He is a sweet, loving, good mannered angel.

Night time Braden is a different story. He has been difficult from the very beginning. Arica and I spent months sleeping on the couch while he slept in his swing as an infant. We both took turns sleeping on an air mattress in his room when trying to transition him to his crib. We tried to get Braden to sleep in everything in the house short of our chest of drawers. You can go back and read The Quest for Sleep if you want to see what I'm talking about.

In fact just click Sleep to find all the posts that I have written about our troubles over the past two years .

Just last night Braden was up at 2 am crying for someone to get him out of bed. It took Arica and I two trips each to discuss the merits of sleeping at night before he finally went back to sleep. He woke up again later. Then he finally got up a 5:45 to watch TV. Then he went back to sleep on the couch and didn't want to wake up and face the day.

Arica claims he is part owl.

Braden has gone through long stretches where he wakes up around two am every night. I've spent more nights than I can count on the couch with him watching cartoons in the wee hours.

He is just now trying to get over a spell where he cries for two hours when you put him to bed. No matter how you go about it he struggles to sleep more than five hours at a time. He is just wide awake at the most inconvenient times.

Let me stop everyone from suggesting we cut out his nap. We tried that already. When we cut his nap time down to one hour a couple months back he morphed into a miniature flesh colored version of the Incredible Hulk. So naps are still necessary.

This all brings me back to my original point. Braden is the perfect child. He just has a sleeping disorder. I don't need any doctors or sleep disorder experts to tell me that. I know.

So as the twins approach, and Braden continues his all out war against sleep, I think there is only one way this all shakes out. It goes something like this. Coming this Summer to a blogging circle near you, ZOMBIE DAD! Starring me.

Potty Training and Sharp Knives

I tried a few weeks back to blog more. The results of that effort were the same as any of my other attempts to be a super blogger. I get on a little roll and then the circumstances of life just push blogging aside. I've been busy and not blogging as you can plainly see. Today I'll spit out several topics that I haven't had time to flesh out into their own posts. I think I'll call it Random Tuesday Thoughts unless that is already taken. So Random Tuesday with no button. Enjoy.

• I mentioned the review I was going to do recently. It turns out that I don't actually have to do the review on this blog so you are all saved from that excitement. I am going to tell you what I bought though. I got a nice German made knife sharpener because every parent knows the most important thing to have in a home with young children is sharp knives.
• Braden has been a potty training wonder. He rarely has accidents of any kind. He tells Arica or me when he has to pee or poop. He wears a diaper at nap time but never pees in it. He still pees some at night but not nearly as much. I am ecstatic about how this has gone. Thank you Arica and Braden.
• Braden does other things at night that are not so much a source of pride. For the past week he has been staying up for two hours or more past his bedtime. He never gets out of bed. He just lays in there and talks and screams and laughs. Sometimes he cries but not often. He just won't sleep. The kid is staying up past our bedtime. Yet he still needs a nap to make it through the day. We are stuck in some sort of in between stage of sleep development. It is very frustrating.
• I put my boat up for sale Monday via the nut house they call Craigslist. That place is full of winners. Anyway I was contacted 8 times in the first 24 hours. I'm starting to think that I should have asked for more money.
• Braden is nuts for the Scooby Doo movie. I'm not talking about any of the dozens of cartoon movies. He doesn't like the cartoons at all. He likes the live action movie with Freddie Prinze and Buffy. He laughs all the time at CGI Scooby. I have seen the movie numerous times now, and it's tolerable. I think Mathew Lillard should have got an Oscar Nomination for his portrayal of Shaggy. Either that or I've been sniffing too much glue.
• Finally, I have to remind everyone who is interested that we will be finding out the sex of our twins on Monday. So stay tuned for that, especially if you bet money on any of the possible outcomes in Vegas.

Dream Reviews

I am not reviewing dreams today, but dreaming of reviews. I have been granted the opportunity to review a product for CSN Stores. CSN has over 200 online stores selling nearly everything imaginable. You can get everything from an L Shaped Desk to 50,000 Btu Gas Forced Air Heaters to literally the kitchen sink. You can't even find variety like that at Wal Mart.

Part of the fun of this review was shopping through all the possible items for purchase. I hate shopping, but a little online shopping is tolerable, especially when the store has everything from power tools to kitchen gadgets. While shopping for all this stuff I couldn't help but think of some potential parenting dream items.  These items are not in stores, as far as I know, but they would be a welcome addition to any home with small children.

Here is my list of 10 dream items that would excite parents everywhere. Feel free to take these ideas and run with them product development people.

1. Sleep Ray Gun - I could use this baby during those 3 am play sessions that Braden loves to have. One shot of the Sleep Ray Gun and it's back to dream land for Braden and his loving parents.
2. Poop Vaporizer - I stole this from a movie. Bonus points for anyone who actually saw the movie. There can't be many of you.
3. Handy Helper - I stole this one too. It comes from a certain cartoon mouse. The Handy Helper is a giant hand that comes out of the wall and helps out around the house. I could always use another hand even if it's just to slap me back into consciousness.
4. How to be a Jedi Guide - This would work two ways. Jedi mind trick on a toddler that is prone to arguing. Picking up toys without leaving the couch.
5. Instant Chicken Nuggets - Sometimes that 10 minute prep time is our enemy.
6. No Preview DVDs - Much like the nugget prep time the previews on children's DVDs are a killer. And most of the time you can't skip them. Note to DVD people: This is one of my least favorite features of any product I have ever owned. Fix it!!!
7. Monkey Renewer - Braden's best friend in the world is his Monkey. This thing has literally been loved to death. Instant Monkey Renewal Spray could zap Monkey back to his original state thus eliminating the authentic monkey odor.
8. Infinite Toy Box - This would be a small toy box that opens up into a bottomless pit of storage. There is no limit to the amount of cars, trucks, balls, and Toy Story figures you can put in this thing.
9. 10 year batteries - Actually this should probably be number one and in all caps. Lets make a better battery people!!!
10. Parenting Pill - For those days when I'm just not feeling it. I could use a pill to get me back in Dad mode. They have pills for everything else so why not?

The Great Outdoors

When I got home from work yesterday Braden and I took advantage of the warmer weather and went outside to play. He has always loved to be outside and yesterday was no different. It's a lot of fun to watch a two year old play. Their brains come up with all kinds of things to do. That's in stark contrast to my brain which usually says sit on the couch and watch TV.

So yesterday Braden provided me with his own special brand of therapy. It's base concept is go outside and have some fun. Run. Laugh. Play.

Look at all the fun things my little buddy did yesterday while we enjoyed our time outdoors.

• Braden raced Otter for his fetching stick yelling, "I get it!" On the rare occasion that Braden got if first he would throw the stick and say to Otter, "You get it!"
• He hopped from one stepping stone to another saying, "Ribbit" with every hop.
• Of course he rolled around on the ground just for the sake of getting dirty.
• We hit a few baseballs off the tee. You know spring training has already started. It's time to start working on his swing.
• He jumped on his mini trampoline banging into the walls as much as possible and constantly telling me to open and close the door by saying, "Zip up!"
• He climbed on top of the dog houses a half dozen times.
• He threw rocks through the fence.
• And my favorite one of all, when the wind blew he would run around with his hands in the air yelling, "I blow way! I blow way!"